Hi.

Can we compile a list of things to do to make that someone special know that they are special?

Post what makes you feel special. Things you do for your partner etc.

What makes me happy :
1: small kisses on my back while I am snoozing
2: getting coffee in bed
3: when my girl comes to me when she is upset

Things I do to make her happy :
1: Give flowers randomly (suprise)
2: clean the house and do the laundry and make dinner before she gets home
3: give her full body massage when I can see she is really tired. Then I tuck her in with no intention of sex (massage is to relax, not to get someone in the mood)
4: Romantic picnic under the stars with a bottle of fine wine

Well that's all I can think of for now. Would just really like to see some advise about something positive as all this doom and gloom can bring one down.

1. Listen to her, not just stare and think "Oh god when will she stop talking"
2. Compliment her, especially when she is in sweatpants, t-shirt and no make up
3. CLEAN!
4. Laundry
5. Dishes
6. Remember to put the toilet seat down
7. Little love notes left on the pillow
8. Remember the little things

1a (building off Rome): Know when to shut up and listen to her! Just let her talk, vent and cry, whatever... just simply be there to listen without trying to make things better. Sometimes we just need to vent without a "parental attitude" around. It goes a long way to just keep your mouth shut and be the rock.

Swallow your pride guys, we don't always have the answer to everything, so quit pretending like we do!!!

Behave at the dinner table the same way you would if you were out with your boss. That means, no farting, burping, reading the paper.

Remember birthdays, ahead of time, and avoid stopping at the corner store to pick up a dollar card and a bunch of wilted flowers.

Ask the tough questions. How was your day. How did the meeting go. Remember when it's time to take out the garbage and do it without being asked.

Clean the litter box once, every 12 years.

Offer to take the kids out for the afternoon so your better half can have a nap, a nice bubble bath, or just some time alone in peace and quiet.

When you notice the toilet isn't working, offer to fix it. Ditto with a flat tire, burned out bulbs etc.

Take an inventory instead of applying a bandaide or flower petals. Write down what she does, write down what you do. See if you can't even up the score card either way.

Observe. Then observe again. See how the relationship is going, and what you can inject romantically, or practically, to make life a little easier for your parner, and more enjoyable for the both of you.

We're not talking one horse ponies here, but long term, flexible changes, that work to improve the relationship.

Think you have most of it covered guys...

Organise a date night for the two of you.

Time alone.

Help when her mother/sister/friends come over for coffee... be nice to them!

Fix that thing that you have been meaning to fix for the last few months.

Don't leave the jocks on the bedroom floor for more then 2 days!

Change the bed sheets... nothing like a fresh bed.

A radio request of 'your' song or her favourite song.

Do one of the chores that is "her" chore.

My husband does this thing that is really simple: he pushes a button every day when he gets home from work. He gets home generally an hour or two before me. The button is on my coffeepot. He doesn't drink coffee. Ever. The ONLY reason he pushes that button is for me, so that I have hot coffee when I come home.

Make the bed.

Be the one that takes the kids/pets to appointments. It used to drive me crazy that *I* was always the one wasting my vacation/personal/sick time to do it, and we'd get to the end of the year, and he'd be like--I have 2 weeks of vacation left! I'm going to sit on my butt while you still work because you used your vacation to do stuff earlier in the year.

Sweep.

Buy her something that you know she loves, even though you hate it. Best example of this for me is again coffee. Hubby knows I love different flavored coffee, and if he sees something he thinks I'll like, he buys it for me.

If you have kids, get up with the kids on weekend mornings and let your spouse be the one to sleep in.

Massages with no expecations of sex--back, hands, neck, feet, whatever.

Offer to do the grocery shopping by yourself so she can catch up on something else.

Buy a plant instead of flowers. It lasts a LOT longer.

Buy comfy "lingerie" for her--like a camisole and flannel pants.

Soak your dishes, or at least rinse them. Put the cap back on the toothpaste. Put the toilet seat back down. Wipe your feet when you come in the door. Clean up after the kids/pets. Do the little considerate things that you wouldn't have thought twice about doing when you were only dating. Brush your teeth. Shower/shave daily. Be as polite to your partner as you are to strangers.

Send her little love notes. Nothing long or involved, but just a post it on the mirror, or a text, or short email, that says you're thinking of her.

Once, when it had been raining for literally weeks straight, my husband wrote me a note that said "You are more beautiful than a blue sky". I've treasured that note for 13 years.

The most important thing I think is to remember the little things/details and incorporate them with little notes/gifts/warm gestures.

Always ask how her day went, listen, (again pay attention to the little details)respond, relate - if she had a tough day don't try to solve the problem but relate to it, acknowledge her feelings and thus she will feel better because she will know you are on her side, always.

Always give her a hug when you get home or when she gets home, when you meet for lunch or basically just because like when she is fixing her hair in the morning before going to work. A hug can go a long way for a woman; it's the sense of touch, feeling safe, loved and cherished.

Write her notes for her to find, in her jacket, purse, gym bag, car, even at work if you can. I have left notes and some times she won't find them until a few days later which are even more special.

Never put work above her, never stay late to finish that report, run home to her every time. The work day is done - it is her time now and make sure she knows it.

Without second thought do a lot of the chores around the house, dishes, laundry, mopping/sweeping, etc. The idea is to do the routine things for her so she doesn’t have to do them especially if she had a long day.

Cook for her, cook a nice dinner without her help and clean up yourself afterwards, if you don’t know how to cook, learn. (I’m a pretty good cook).

Be a gentleman, open doors, offer to pay for dinner or drinks, make sure she walks on the inside of the sidewalk so she doesn’t get splashed by passing vehicles, it’s the little things/details that matter most

Be unexpected, put on a romantic song and grab her and have a little dance in the kitchen, anticipate her needs and desires before she realizes it, as an example; if she ran out of her favorite shampoo but does not have the time to buy another, go to the market and get it for her so when gets in the shower the next day, you can give it to her and tell her you knew she didn’t have the time to get one so you got it for her.

Most important, saying I love you in those quiet unexpected moments. Not just the quick I love you either but the warm hug with that gaze and a tender kiss to follow.

One of the things she loves for me is writing her poetry, I am a passionate poet so I write her a poem every week and every time it is different and she loves it. ;)