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anony12321 · Jan 1, 2010, 08:29 PM

Hi, all. Thanks for keeping this a great discussion place.

Without going into specifics I would like to get some opinions in some scenarios that I find difficult to fully grasp.

- I guess its very common to have two people where one starts to fall in love, while the other does not. Is it common for this to work out into a relationship? Or is this already doomed to failure?

- I always feel like people who give too much to someone always get nothing. Can a girl just fall for a guy who wants all good for her? Even if she isn't a user (uses this to get him to do stuff), does this ever work out? Lets assume is behavior is not obsessive.

- How should a relationship evolve from the start? Does it have to always be on perfect love-balance (one should love the other as much) for it to work out? Is it feasible to have someone love another, waiting for the other to love back. Does it ever work? How important is the balance of the love in a relationship?

Thanks

talaniman · Jan 1, 2010, 09:09 PM

It works best when both partners know how they feel, and want to work together to stay together.

When one doesn't feel the same way, it never works for long.

Usually though when peoples words, and actions, don't match, it never works.

Stringer · Jan 2, 2010, 09:59 AM

To me it is something that has bedazzled me for a long time. When you consider the odds against finding a love relationship that truly 'works.'

Consider:

Many are not available due to present situations; married, engaged, sexual preference, etc.

Many available are not compatible; intellectually, socially, appearance, attitudes, bad habits, no emotional connections, no physical attraction, no connection, no common ground, etc.

Then, there is timing; two people not 'being in the same place and time' emotionally, physically or geographically.

In my opinion, it is somewhat a miracle that two people can 'come together' when all these things mesh at the same time.

Possibly one of the reasons that the divorce rates are so high? People want to find true love for many reasons and finding someone that 'qualifies' in all these areas is astronomical.

However, when this 'miracle' happens it is one of life's most satisfying events.

Stringer