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    ccdoll38's Avatar
    ccdoll38 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 18, 2009, 07:23 PM
    Flirtation at work
    Help!! I need someone to tell me that I'm just overreacting...

    My husband has a Facebook account and I just happen to read a comment from one of the office assistant saying that he looks huge in the picture, and my husband replied by saying "That's why you are my favorite". Is this nothing or some form of flirtation?
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #2

    Apr 18, 2009, 08:09 PM

    Why don't you ask him.

    Not sure what to tell you. It could be a joke... Coworkers have a tendency to joke around with each other. Does not mean anything in my opinion.
    ccdoll38's Avatar
    ccdoll38 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 18, 2009, 08:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesushelper76 View Post
    Why don't you ask him.

    Not sure what to tell you. It could be a joke... Coworkers have a tendency to joke around with each other. Does not mean anything in my opinion.
    Thank you for the response. I asked him but he got really mad at me instead :(

    His answer was that he tells that to all his co-workers. But I've been having my doubts because he spends more time at work than with me. Also, he is very obsessed with his looks lately and works out a lot to impress his co-workers. So yeah, little things like this makes me wonder. And I've caught him check out other women before even when I'm around and when I confront him he vehemently denies it. I can never get him to admit because he is very quick and too tricky.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #4

    Apr 18, 2009, 08:19 PM

    Now that sounds a bit fishy, but then again you did not have that in your original post.
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #5

    Apr 18, 2009, 10:03 PM

    Yah it does sound suspicious, usually the guilty responds in anger. You need to ask yourself if he can really be trusted or not and get to the bottom of this.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #6

    Apr 18, 2009, 10:27 PM

    When someone is guilty of something their first reaction is to become defensive. So if the exchange was inocent he wouldn't have became angry with you.
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
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    #7

    Apr 18, 2009, 11:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ccdoll38 View Post
    Thank you for the response. I asked him but he got really mad at me instead :(
    Usually when someone puts up a shield and becomes defensive, there is an underlying issue. Is there any inconsistencies in what he says?

    His answer was that he tells that to all his co-workers.
    It could be just a joke. Offices have their own inside jokes.

    But I've been having my doubts because he spends more time at work than with me.
    What type of job does he have-what is his position? Sometimes demanding jobs or being a manger or a partner in a company creates different working hours and you never really have a set schedule.

    Also, he is very obsessed with his looks lately and works out a lot to impress his co-workers. So yeah, little things like this makes me wonder.
    Did he say he's trying to impress other co-workers? What makes you say this?

    And I've caught him check out other women before even when I'm around and when I confront him he vehemently denies it. I can never get him to admit because he is very quick and too tricky.
    Men are visual creatures. Plus your not blind. I bet you see other men and subconsciously check them out. There's nothing wrong with seeing a little eye candy here and there- the only wrong thing about it is when you decide to act on it. However when seeing someone that is attractive your not going to be going out of your way to see them, or say to your spouse "god she/he is gorgeous" [some couples are that comfortable some are not]-- there is etiquette that applies for that too. A quick glance is okay, a second look and a turn around to watch them go is another thing.

    If you find yourself lost, angry or upset, the best thing to do is talk to your husband. If you seem to think you are unable to communicate well then have a mediator in your conversation. It could be a pastor, a therapist, a relative, a close friend, or even a councilor at one of those group counseling for couples.

    Sarah
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #8

    Apr 18, 2009, 11:25 PM

    Sounds very suspicious to me , and generally our gut feelings turn out to be true unfortunately.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Apr 19, 2009, 06:01 AM

    Oft times a lack of communications leads to some unclearly defined boundaries, which can easily be crossed. If you don't like his responses, or don't trust him, you need a new boyfriend.

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