Hey, so I posted in here a while back, and got a lot of positive feedback and advice. I dated this girl for 3 years, I ended it about 6 months ago as I was having problems with fears of the future with graduating from college and having to move etc. Fast forward about 4 months ago we begin talking again. We were best friends prior to dating, and still remain BEST friends. I expressed my mistakes and have on a few occasions asked about getting back together, but she says no, that she is happy being alone for the time being and doesn't want anyone. We go out to dinner 2-3 nights a week to nice restaurants, and basically act like we're dating, having intimate conversations, just no physical contact ever. She wants to go with my to Europe over spring break etc. It's weird that we hang out so much, yet she doesn't want to make that next step. When I am with her, I feel so happy, but it's not the same when she's not around. I have no one, no one, that is even remotely as good of a friend as she is.

Now my problem is that I have jealousy issues, I am still extremely emotionally attached to her. I am always looking at her in that way. I hate to hear her talk about other guys, or even the thought of her with someone else drives me nuts. And we have discussed her seeing a few people in the meantime and it kills me. I just can't handle it. I love her both as a friend, and as a partner, but I don't think I can handle being friends with her anymore and being this bystander as my jealousy is causing me stress, pain, and emotional turmoil.

I'm at a breaking point. The last time I brought it up, she said that she needs true commitment in her life, and made a joke about how a Cartier engagement ring would do the trick, but not in a serious wanting to get engaged matter. I am in no way ready for that commitment. I collect watches, and she knows how important they all are to me. On top of that, there is one vintage Cartier in particular that she for years has begged to have. We are having a wine night in a few days and I plan on getting her just some friendly flowers for christmas. How wrong would it be of me to present her with this watch, as she knows how important it is to me, and just flat out say how she wants a commitment, and that by giving her this for christmas I am showing how serious I am in my commitment and endearment? On a side note, I am at the point where I know what I want in my life, and she plays a large role in it. I know it kind of seems like trying to buy her, but I have had the watch for a long time, so it's not like I'm going out and spending $8k on a gift for her. It is more of my symbolic sincerity.

And no she is not using me.

It could go either way that this is exactly the move she wanted for my dedication to our relationship, or she could be super pissed that I'm trying to buy her, or just that she still isn't ready. I just need a final stab at trying to show her my care, and then we'll see if I can actually follow through with cutting off all contact forever after if she says no, as it is not healthy for me to be thinking about her 24/7.

Sounds like she is still confused about her feelings toward you. She still has emotional attachment to you ( and no I am not talking about love ) but she is confused in identifying this emotional attachment, You dated her for 3 years, quite long enough time, your presence has been engraved in her for 3 years, it is just normal she miss your companion but whether she still love you or not it is still unknown. Try tell her straightfully thatyou want her back and be honest that you can't keep being friend with her because it pains you so much, she should make a clear decision. Tell her you need her to tell you the 'black' and 'white' and not grey,because no matter how I see it your relationship with her now is in 'grey' territory. If she still answer she needs time then well it is time for you to make yourself clear to her leave her and go no contact .

Thank you and I completely agree. I plan on having to make this decision soon, even though it pains me to do so.