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    beetlejuice1's Avatar
    beetlejuice1 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 16, 2013, 11:18 AM
    Fiancé ignoring me
    My fiancé and I are in different countries. We lived together for a month before I had to relocate. He came after me and proposed. After his second visit, he started acting very aloof and said he needed time to think, but he did not want me to completely stop talking to him and that he still loved me. As time passed he stopped calling me (we used to speak over the phone and Skype everyday, sometimes for 8 hours). Then he stopped texting me, we basically only communicate via Facebook now.
    He told me that he does not want to get married any longer and that he needed to spend more time with me. Recently however, he told to not do this to myself anymore, he doesn't love me anymore and that he isn't meant to be with anyone. I am too good for him (he used to gush over me constantly prior to me leaving and he is very insecure).
    He had told me to just hold out and stick by his side he needs to work through his feelings.
    Previously he also told me that people who allows to get close to him always gets taken away from him, his 2 best friends were killed and now me, having to move to a different country.
    2 days ago we had an argument because I told him to stop doubting me and that I do love him and would never cheat on him. He said I shouldn't try to change him and that he is just that way.
    He hasn't spoken to me since then.
    I truly do love him and I want to spend my life with him.
    I message him everyday and many advice givers say that's a big no-no, that I should just give him space, but I am so scared of losing him.
    I do not know what to do anymore. I am a nervous wreck.
    I told him I do not mind waiting to get married to him and that I will not give him any ultimatums.
    He told me he would love me forever, and now he doesn't even say it.
    Help
    Confused and hurt
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Feb 16, 2013, 11:38 AM
    I am 71 yrs old, divorced once after 7 yrs, then remarried for 30 years. Things change, love changes. He really doesn't care for you as he did before. Please accept it, and move on. If you are honest, respectful, and have a willingness to talk about anything, I am sure you will meet someone who will love you, and you them. I do wish you the best, and good luck.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #3

    Feb 16, 2013, 11:41 AM
    How long had you two been going out?

    To be honest, it sounds to me like he has changed his mind... probably found someone else... but just is avoiding coming out directly and saying that. Seems to me like he is making excuses and trying to get you to fight so you will end it.

    It may be time to just let go and save yourself.

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