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Happyluv85 · Jul 19, 2011, 11:38 PM

My fiancé told me **** You, 3 times! We had a big fight! I felt really mad and disrespected! Lately we have been fighting a lot! It's been 3 days and he hasn't called or text! We have so many things planned for our wedding that don't know what to do! I love him so much! We have been together for almost 4 years. He loves me so much I know but why would he said something like that? But can let him talked to me like that! I told him I didn't wanted to marry him no more! Every night I cry! Begging God to help me! Don't want to loose him! But he needs to learn a lesson! Should I call or leave things the way they are?

talaniman · Jul 20, 2011, 11:50 AM

Wait until you both cool off, and talk calmly. What did you argue about?

kcomissiong · Jul 21, 2011, 06:38 AM

Happy,
The risk you run when trying to teach your partner a lesson is that they will take you at face value, and just leave. This is already a hostile situation, and you trying to one up him or hurt him back isn't going to help here. You have to have an honest conversation with him when you both are calm, and let him know that you are sorry to saying you didn't want to marry him, and they you are working on not reacting out of anger or spite (and actually work on this). You then have to let him know that you still value your relationship and want to work with him to fix the issues that you are having. Then explain (don't accuse)why you found his words to be hurtful, and how important his respect is to you and to the health of your relationship, and together, you can work on what is causing the mutual breakdown of respect between you. Reacting out of anger and hurt is easy; it will be hard for both of you to let go of your anger, and make the choices that are the best for your relationship. You both have to be willing to work on it.

imani504 · Jul 22, 2011, 06:36 PM

I think you should call and ask him to dinner. A nice place that is not to loud so you all can talk. It should be a neutral place, maybe one you have never been to or only a few times.
When you sit down make the usual chit chat. Then begin the conversation with your feelings. Do not tell him he does this or that wrong. Tell him "I feel this way when you do this" Always keep saying what you feel or want to express with out blaming him.
You all should make an effort to find out if this is worth saving. Then go from there. Good Luck