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Cmj301973 · Sep 2, 2013, 03:44 AM

We have been together for 2 1/2 years now and everything has been going really well, until last night. I had a message from a woman, saying my partner has told her he loves her/wants her, and that he wants to end it with me. My partner has admitted that he texts her as a friend, but she is causing trouble as she wants to be with him. He has never mentioned her before. Its like he has now told me about her as he's been caught. I feel cheated, I thought I trusted him but now I'm not so sure. What should I do?

Fr_Chuck · Sep 2, 2013, 06:25 AM

Start by considering, that a women, is trying to break you up. It is very possible, her and husband are just friends, but she thinks, if she breaks you up, he will come to her.

She could be crazy and he is just a friend, but she has built an entire relationship in her mind that does not exist.

What does he say about all of this ?
Has he told her, to stop texting or calling and to live you and him alone ?

Jake2008 · Sep 2, 2013, 06:28 AM

I find it interesting that this 'other woman' only mentions what your boyfriend has apparently said to her. She isn't saying she loves him, or wants him, or wants to be with him, or has been with him even.

It is a strange call to get out of the blue.

I would be inclined to talk to her again, and let your boyfriend know you intend to do that.

It may prompt a little honesty on his part.

Cmj301973 · Sep 2, 2013, 06:36 AM

Originally Posted by Jake2008

I find it interesting that this 'other woman' only mentions what your boyfriend has apparently said to her. She isn't saying she loves him, or wants him, or wants to be with him, or has been with him even.

It is a strange call to get out of the blue.

I would be inclined to talk to her again, and let your boyfriend know you intend to do that.

It may prompt a little honesty on his part.

I cannot get in contact with her to ask her anything else, but I know she has always had a thing for my fiancé, but I don't understand why my fiancé has chosen to stay in contact with her, and furthermore he has never told me about her until now, I know she is going through a divorce at the moment

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

start by considering, that a women, is trying to break you up. it is very possible, her and husband are just friends, but she thinks, if she breaks you up, he will come to her.

She could be crazy and he is just a friend, but she has built an entire relationship in her mind that does not exist.

what does he say about all of this ?
has he told her, to stop texting or calling and to live you and him alone ?

He said he has told her several times to stop the contact but he seems to get wound up by her and bites back instead of changing his number 2 yrs ago

Jake2008 · Sep 2, 2013, 06:41 AM

Maybe he has been helping her cope with the divorce. I can see my husband lending a sympathetic ear to anyone in turmoil.

If she's already had a thing for him, she may take advantage of the situation.

Might be time to have a good sit down with your boyfriend, and explain that. He may be being played without even knowing it. If he does know it, or believes it could be true, then it's time to set some boundaries with this woman.

He needs to only tell her that you are uncomfortable with him being in touch with her- at all. It is out of respect for you, and his relationship with you, that he will no longer keep in touch.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 2, 2013, 06:46 AM

sometimes old friends are that, and he may have enjoyed talking and a little 'attention" in talking sometimes. Men are stupid and do not see how things can go bad.

The only reason, I defend him at all ( read my past posts I seldom do) is that this call is too random, normally something that happens when other women is told it is olver, or she see's man moving away from her, and she wants to hurt him.

I had a crazy lady one time, we dated a bit when my wife and I were separated ( for other reasons) I went out with her about 3 times, when she started creating an entire life together for me and her. After I stop seeing her, and some months latter my wife and I got back together, she came to my home, beat on door and was saying all sorts of things, like we had a baby together, and much more. ( all untrue) In my case I had told my wife about this women, but even then, it was strange.

I would say , just on this one message, she is crazy women, trying to break you up.

talaniman · Sep 2, 2013, 07:17 AM

While its shocking I wouldn't get carried away by what a woman out of the blue says. But I would quietly pay attention to what happens next. She may indeed be planting the seeds of doubt, with intentions you will make it grow.

If your relationship is so fragile an allegation from a stranger can tear it apart then its not as strong as you thought in the first place. I would get a lot more facts before I make this a big deal.

N0help4u · Sep 2, 2013, 08:26 AM

He can block her calls and texts. You can tell him that if its true that he wants her to tell you NOW. There is no reason he should be communicating with her now that he sees she's is trying to break you up. He needs a her or you ultimatum. You should not have to live with this.

Cmj301973 · Sep 2, 2013, 09:07 AM

Thank you all for your fab advice its very much appreciated xxx

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

sometimes old friends are that, and he may have enjoyed talking and alittle 'attention" in talking sometimes. Men are stupid and do not see how things can go bad.

The only reason, I defend him at all ( read my past posts I seldom do) is that this call is too random, normally something that happens when other women is told it is olver, or she see's man moving away from her, and she wants to hurt him.

I had a crazy lady one time, we dated a bit when my wife and I were separated ( for other reasons) i went out with her about 3 times, when she started creating an entire life together for me and her. After I stop seeing her, and some months latter my wife and I got back together, she came to my home, beat on door and was saying all sorts of things, like we had a baby together, and much more. ( all untrue) In my case i had told my wife about this women, but even then, it was strange.

I would say , just on this one message, she is crazy women, trying to break you up.

I think you could be right, she sounds crazy, but I don't understand why he chose not to mention her until now