I am going to sound juvenile... maybe. But I am pissed off and hurt.

I dated this guy, we shall call him Chuck, for 10 months... we had a pretty good relationship for most of it, but when we drank together the drunk sides of us did not get along. No violence or abuse... I would just walk away stubbornly rather than deal with the situation (mostly him saying drunken rude comments).

We stayed friends, hooked up a few times until I started to date someone. When I told him I was moving on he seemed shocked and hurt, but 'kinda' wished me the best as he was about to leave for 6 months of college out of the country.

He recently returned and meanwhile my other relationship ended and Chuck expressed his condolences but also said he wasn't so sad about it.

We decided to meet up last weekend for some drinks. It was over 7 months since I had seen him, so I figured it would be OK. Everything was great as we ended up being joined by one of his friends and just had a good time. As I was sipping drinks he was drinking on the heavier side, and becoming more touchy-feely with me. I didn't mind... I am single and we have had history.. and in all reality it was nice to be around him again. (I have held come very strong feelings for him, although I just don't see us as a forever thing).

At some point he starts talking about how much he misses me, and we start kissing. The sparks are not flying for me. I am in no desire to get back into the dysfunctional relationship we had in the past so I told him as much, and he agrees saying he didn't mean to rush into anything, doesn't expect anything and just wants to see if we can work on being better friends and see where things go. I am happy... he's stepping up in ways he never did before and all is sounding good. We finally say goodnight with him seeming to be on the angry side.

Now a week later, only a few texts between us and tonight his Facebook (yeah I know retarded.. but bear with me) status goes from single to in a relationship... The thing is... the whole 10 months we were together neither of us ever displayed our status... I figured we were both the types not to display to the world what our personal relationships were... and now here he is displaying his, just 8 days after saying sweet things and shoving his tongue down my throat.

I am instantly PO'ed. I text him and ask if its real. No answer for over an hour. After fuming I decide to write him an email:

I am not so sure you will understand why I am pissed off right now... so here's a quick synopsis; You and I were together for about 10 months- you never changed your relationship status in that time frame... neither did I... it was no big deal- I am not a fan of having my relationship business in public anyway, and I figured you were the same... Now your profile says you are in a relationship, I wouldn't normally care... I want you to be happy, and its not like we are anything other than friends now anyway... but you were all over me last weekend saying how you missed me and ****... So how do you go from saying that to displaying yourself in a relationship in one week? Like I said... I want you to be happy, but I think it is utter bull**** for us to go out, you be all sweet to me, and now this... Just Saying.
Do you get me?

He Responds: I get you. I will respond in full tomorrow. Please don't be pissed.

... This does not help... just kicks the flames higher. He is not a guy I am madly in love with, but he was an upstanding guy... always honest and straightforward, I never had a reason to think of him as shady, and he doesn't express his feelings freely, so the last 2 times we saw each other in person and he makes me feel like he really cares about me... but now out of the blue he seems like the next tool.
Moments ago he posted a picture of him and a girl... who ends up looking like a model... go figure..

So I immediately delete him as a friend... not (completely) out of spite, but I don't need to be seeing that stuff and it would just tempt me to say something about last weekend on his page...

So my question... I really want to just tell him 'don't bother, I'm over it. Take care'.. and hope I never interact with him again... but am I being emotional and irrational? Should I bother to let him explain? I am mostly hurt that he never publicized our relationship, but now he has a bombshell and he displays it in a week... on valentines day... after seemingly missing me. My initial reaction is to push him away, lock him out and just move on... but he was there for me for a couple of very important times (while we were just friends, he really came through and there are feelings towards him of deep appreciation that will never go away). I feel torn. He made a huge difference in my life and I care about him, but I can't see myself with him... but he has betrayed me and the relationship we had... How would you handle a situation like this?

I would grow up and move on.

You didn't want him so he found someone else. Whether it was the night after he put his tongue down your throat or two years that's none of your business...

Don't know why your pissed at him.

You didn't want him but you also weren't ready to see him with someone else, which is a little selfish too but also your only human, this girl he's with probably asked him to show people he's in a relationship on his status, you said you assumed you both were perfectly comfortable with not showing the world your business but this isn't your relationship anymore, this is a different couple now, a different relationship, that do like to show people their business. Just leave him be,

I say NO CONTACT period. You are more then likely ticked because you are the one who didn't want to be in a relationship, but yet didn't get to really put an end to it, you kind of left it open!

So when he posted was in relationship, and here you kept things open, you got ticked and if honest a little hurt.

Hey he is an ex he doesn't need to be a friend. You both did things for the other while in relationship, but now its better just to go separate ways completely.

Take care

Boy are you way out of bounds. You over reacted, for no reason, because he was doing his thing. Now go do yours, and cool off.

Jealous maybe?? And honestly who believes the sweet nothings a drunk utters?

Let's look at this another way.

If you didn't know him, and instead you were out on a date with a brand new guy, and he was drinking more than he should, that would have been one red flag. Then, he gets touchy feely with you, and doesn't know when to quit, then, when you realize that what he really wants is a roll in the sack, you cut your losses, and leave. All the right things.

Then you find him on Facebook, and see that he's in a relationship, and even see who he's in a relationship with. And, you realize that had you slept with him, you would be realizing that you would have been only a one night stand, to a man who was cheating. At that point, you would write him off as a loser, and pat yourself on the back for making the right choice. Then he'd fade from your radar, and that would be that.

So, think about why you are so angry with him now, and why you think you deserve an answer, simply because you had a past relationship with him. I think that you should be happy that you can confirm that breaking up with him before, was the best thing you could have done. Your recent experience with him, should be telling you that.

If your expectations were higher, and you expected, say, honesty, he proved that he is dishonest. If you thought of him as having the qualities of an honourable man, or qualities that you liked about him when you were in a relationship with him in the past, he's proven that he isn't, and probably wasn't, that type of man.

He owes you nothing by way of explanation. He tried, and failed to use you. I think that you should be happy you saw and realized what was going on with him sooner, rather than down the road, after investing more time and effort into thinking that you would allow him into your life again, only to realize that you were, or had become 'the other woman' in his life.

Let him go, and give yourself credit for the instinct that told you to walk away. You did the right thing, and saved yourself a lot of heartache.