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    seriouslyworried's Avatar
    seriouslyworried Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 29, 2008, 10:16 AM
    I feel more comfortable around someone else, other than my boyfriend
    I'm really worried because I've been with my boyfriend for 2 months now, and it was only after a month I start to feel more comfortable around him as I am a very shy person. What worries me more is that I'm more chilled out and relaxed around other lads I know that are just friends, say at work or something. I think my boyfriend has picked up on this and it seems to bother him a bit. Don't get me wrong I don't flirt, I'm just more chatty and outgoing, but to be honest I think my boyfriend probably knows the real me?

    Secondly he is into dirty sex, and I'm not really. He talks about it a lot and we try and compromise as best as we can. Sometimes I feel like he may just be using me for sex, but then I feel awful saying that as he is very complementary of me, and we are inseparable even if we aren't even sex, and I do feel he does love me very much. The thing is often or not I don't really want to talk dirty with him or talk about sex, yet I have a friend at uni is really open about sex, he is male and I feel really comfortable around him, we talk quite dirty, like what we are into, and generally about sex really, he has a girlfriend so again don't get me wrong we don't flirt we just seem to talk about sex a lot, but that doesn't bother me.

    Why am I feeling this way towards my boyfriend, it sort of makes me feel bad that I'm not giving him enough attention, or that I feel more comfortable around other lads. Any suggestions?
    TrueFaith's Avatar
    TrueFaith Posts: 1,202, Reputation: 313
    Ultra Member

    Jan 29, 2008, 11:18 AM
    Happens. When we really care about someone we can become even more shy around them.. for reasons unknown.

    About the sex thing yeah normaly in a relationship its one sided like one person will be way more into than the other. I really think you guys should talk about it more. Let him do stuff for you and you for him..

    Talking with friends is totally different than talking to a boyfriend
    And you guys are really in the early stages 2months is nothing

    Wait 6 months down the line and see how things end up

    psychman09's Avatar
    psychman09 Posts: 26, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jan 29, 2008, 11:21 AM
    I wouldn't worry too much, it is a very common occurrence for someone to be more comfortable and open in conversatioin with people that you socialize with on a daily basis in less expectational environment. What I mean by that is, at work you are not held to the same standard of stimulating conversation or sharing intimate details about your life as you would be in a relationship. However in that relationship those details and inner thoughts you have cannot be shared until there is a level of trust built. Now you say that you are shy, typically shy people take just a little bit longer to open up and talk about their dreams, sexual desires and inner thoughts etc. And that is perfectly fine. Whoever your partner is must understand this as well. If he would like you to share more and that is to say in every aspect of the relationship, that he must have patience and be understanding that you are not like him. If he truly does care and wants you for who you are he will understand this. Don't feel bad for talking more to the people you work with or friends you may have had long before the b/f came along. These people are you outlet and space to do that, just as you may be that for them. Hope I helped a little.

    The Key to all relationships is to develop trust through good communication. From that all good things come.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,323, Reputation: 10855

    Jan 29, 2008, 02:19 PM
    I think you just need time to get comfortable with people in general, and that doesn't have to be a bad thing, its just you. I doubt if your b/f is aware of it though.

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