We have been going out for 11 months, I have had a big problem with forgiving myself and others for big things in my past and she has been nagging at me to try to fix it. I have asked her not to nag because I find it harder to do what she nags about.

A few nights ago I had walked her home and as we got to the door we started to argue about my unforgiving, and then she said that she thinks we should have a break, I panicked and said goodnight and walked home. The next day at college(we sit next to each other) said practically nothing to me but was all chatty and happy as if nothing was wrong. She says that she still feels the same for me and that she doesn't want a break just as much as me, but I feel like she doesn't even care about me and that she can't have cared about me because she acts as if we are just acquaintances.

She has a strong logical mind and tends to have strong emotional boundaries, she has stated in the past that she doesn't even care about how something she says hurts her because what she says should effect me emotionally. Since the break she has said that I need to have shown some evidence of me dealing with my forgiveness problems, and I have to not rely on her for anything, When she said this she was saying that I rely on her alone to be able to change in anyway, I don't believe that this is true, but I could be bias.

I am and have been dealing with my forgiveness problems but I have no Idea how to change something that I don't know that I have. I don't know what to rely on or even how to not rely on her. She has also said that I rely on her and others far too much for my confidence, encouragement and strength. She gave me a book to read last year called, "Boundaries, how to say yes and how to say no to take control of your lives." I have read it but everything in my childhood years contradicts that I shouldn't feel pain for something someone else has said about me, I don't know how to think that way.

I am really lost and need some help. If you could help I would be really grateful =)

What stress! It sounds like she read that book and now lives by it.

I don't know what these "forgiveness issues" are, but regardless of the issue, it seems like she is manipulative and controlling. Your issues are yours to deal with. If they hinder others so be it, they can stay in your life and be supportive or leave, but not set expectations on you or pressure you into dealing with something that might require therapy to work through..

Take the break from her. Spend some time sorting out your issues. Gain some confidence and self-esteem, then hit the dating world.

You probably don't understand because whatever she is yammering about doesn't apply to you. But she sounds like she can be dominating, and overwhelming, so the best thing is to tell her that you forgive her, and disappear. She is using your emotions against you, to change you to what SHE thinks is better, so be independent, and tell her to back off with that psycho babble crap, and take you the way you are or leave you the hell alone.

I agree with GlobeWarmer she sounds manipulative and controlling. You shouldn't be forced to do something you don't want to do its your decision to work through whatever problems you may have. You should takethe break from her to get your mind together and to work through your issues and have built confidence and self esteem you can get back out there and find someone who isn't like she is; someone who uses your emotions against you.

You need to let her go and start to move on. It doesn't sound like she cares at all, it seems like you are just a test subject. I hate to be in that situation, bail and go meet someone who is going to respect you.