To make a long history short--- I am from north Europe. My family is not religious- neither is the society, the schools or the politics in the country I grew up. Instead I was brought up with equality between genders (almost.. ) and healthy vegetables to accomplish every meal I ever had.

Last year when I came back to school from summer break there was a new guy- from Canada who just started. He seamed to know everyone the first days but then appeared lonely- so we started talking. Talking became shared lunch, shared lunch came to cinema, and cinema came to night clubs and night clubs came to the first kiss. But when that happen it was not longer school start in august- it was beginning of November and we had been hanging out almost every day. For both bad and good.

After our first kiss- we were a couple. Newly in love- it felt almost hundred to spend al time awake time together. I did however start to miss my friends- and did loose contact with two best girlfriends- from which I today at more then a year into this relationship don't have any contact with.

My boyfriend is a very shy young man- with absolute no friends. He is however from travelling very open minded and social. Outside he appears as almost perfect. He is thin and musculus. Has shiny hair and wears expensive fashionable cloths. Big Laugh--- but never smiling together with anyone else then me.

When school ended and I graduated in last spring- I decided to travel with him back to western Canada- to live with his family. To get to know everyone and to introduce myself.
The first week well there- nothing could stop me from crying. I had changed my "free" life to something very Catholic. His parents were rich- just as he claimed- but very old fashioned. My parents are also rich- but very modern, educated and careful with me. I have met so many differences you can't imagine- I can't imagine anyone wants to read about that... They are hundreds of them- and they are al weighting my heart down-

My boyfriend is terribly clingy. He has a low self esteem- can't smile to his own mistakes. Always feels like someone is disliking him. He had earlier problems with me wearing to high boots or me wearing perfume when walking to shop in town, even me masturbating- I have been doing anything I can to stop his behaviour- with some success. Nowadays his attention are at my working mates- asking how they look and what I think about them.

An other thing is that he in bed never really appears as released. It is baby talk.. It is "I look so fat from this angle" I am not satisfied with this. I don't see how I can make him come out- how I reach his reptile brain... I buy tempting clothing and tons of lipstick. I visit my hairdresser every 6 weeks and my body is just perfect----- BUT STILL NOTHING!

An other problem is that He never is angry- just sad or happy. He never complains about anything small- which makes me so confused- How am I supposed to know what his favourite food is or what kind of movies he rather not see at cinema. This makes me the big planner in our relationship. It is always my duty to find up any plans or ideas for the weekend. I don't know what he likes- so we are always doing something I like- shopping, coffee drinking and trolling around down town. I think that is very boring. I wish he would show me any new sides of this life. Take me biking, hiking or whatever he wants.

He is from a Catholic society, school and family. He say that he don't believe in good. But he still can't enjoy intimacy- and blames everything on his very Catholic childhood. So also his low self esteem- but that one I can understand after have been living together with his family for almost 7 months now.

Can anyone relate to my problem?

Maybe it is time to start talking to him? Maybe he likes things your way, he doesn't sound like much of a leader, maybe he just likes to hang back and relax. If he wants something, he will go and get it himself, just enjoy your time with him, stop wanting to change him. If you don't like the way he is, then go find someone that is more like you, he has a culture and a family that probably has expectations for him, as mine do for me, but sometimes it is hard to accept that you need to satisfy everyone around you, hence the sadness. Just give him his space, and do things that you like to you, he will figure out the things he wants in his own time, stop the pressuring.

Most of the questions on this forum is the same as your story. It's a universal boy meets girl, have fun, fall in love. But when the honeymoon is over and it gets to be more than having fun, reality set in and the work begins. You start finding out that the things you found so adorable have been replaced wit annoying habits and styles and you struggle to find where did all that love go?

Reality has replaced the warm glow of perfect bliss, and this stranger of less than a year is a stranger to you. The more you learn the more you regret. Yes I can relate, many of us can. We know well what its about when FEELINGS give way to FACTS, but the good news is we can talk about it to learn enough FACTS to make a decision.

No honest communications, no relationship! So develop some honest communications to see what can, and cannot be done by you both. The work has started, and the honeymoon is over. Yes I can relate.

Hi,
I have followed your advice and things have changed for the better- my BF does now have two new friends at work that he maybe also will start to share time with. He has also become more responsible.

I do however have a different problem that I just don't know how to label.
It is the 14 February- I was surprised with flowers and love letters this morning by BF. It does not help.

Last Friday I did met a young man at work that I haven't yet been presented for. He has wonderful deep brown eyes, radiant skin and luscious dark hair. His lips looks soft and I can't stop stare at them. Everyone at work knows that I have a boyfriend- at this makes things very embarrassing. I feel like everyone notice how much I stare.
This beautiful young man reminds me so much about my BF- like he was when I first met him. He seems to be a little older then me- maybe a year or two. He's shoes could be of better quality. The way he moves and talks is just wonderful- he is very social, big laugh, talkative and then I get this feeling that he might have been less successful around girls before. He is somehow shy when I talk to him.

Al I want to do is change this. Bring him to up over the clouds. Show him passion. Show him life and let him change me into someone more laid back.

I just can't be in love- because I do not know him that well. Tell me please it is just a crush! I just wish I could get a chance to talk over a lunch. Maybe it is just a crush- nothing that will ruin my relationship to my BF.

What am I doing?