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Elgee · Feb 14, 2013, 10:55 AM

My girlfriend of 7months says to me that I need time to fix the drama that my ex-wife has brought to the table. Me and my ex have 3 children and have been divorced for 3 years. My ex-wife has routinely since she found out I have a girlfriend bothered, harassed, especially when I had my children at my girlfriends house. She has e-mailed my girlfriend, talked smack about me to her and so forth. My girlfriend is infuriated because she says I have not did anything about it. My ex-wife has put false bogus restraining orders on me just to prevent me from seeing my kids. My girlfriend says she is sick of the drama and wants me to fix it before proceeding. I don't want her to leave because I love her dearly. I am taking steps through the court system to get this b.s. resolved. But my girlfriend no longer calls or texts or anything. (Going on 3 weeks)... I loathe my ex-wife but my girlfriend seems to think otherwise. I am dearly in love with my girlfriend and love her 3 kids as well. I'm upset because she was so quick to just cut me off... I'm heartbroken and unsure if she is using my ex-wife as an excuse to break it off. I have a feeling she has started seeing someone else. My heart is torn because of this.

maidah4 · Feb 14, 2013, 12:04 PM

Well, trust is the BASIC element in any relationship. If your girlfriend doesn't trust u, its BASELESS! I suppose your girlfriend wasn't unaware of the fact that you HAVE an ex-wife. Ex-wives are not meant to say pleasant things about you, of course. Sit your girlfriend down and talk to her calmly. Ask if she will speak great of a man who left her/who she left? The answer is NO! Ask her to put herself into the situation and try to understand. If she doesn't, you need to move on buddy! She isn't the ONE either! If she loved you as dearly as you claim to love her, she would understand or at least give you a chance to explain and think about it herself. She will find a reason to stay rather than a reason to leave!

Elgee · Feb 14, 2013, 12:08 PM

[QUOTE=maidah4;3396312]Well, trust is the BASIC element in any relationship. If your girlfriend doesn't trust u, its BASELESS! I suppose your girlfriend wasn't unaware of the fact that you HAVE an ex-wife. Ex-wives are not meant to say pleasant things about you, of course. Sit your girlfriend down and talk to her calmly. Ask if she will speak great of a man who left her/who she left? The answer is NO! Ask her to put herself into the situation and try to understand. If she doesn't, you need to move on buddy! She isn't the ONE either! If she loved you as dearly as you claim to love her, she would understand or at least give you a chance to explain and think about it herself. She will find a reason to stay rather than a reason to leave![/QUOTE

Elgee · Feb 14, 2013, 12:11 PM

Thanks for the input... I appreciate it

maidah4 · Feb 14, 2013, 12:30 PM

Originally Posted by Elgee

Thanks for the input...I appreciate it

=)

Oliver2011 · Feb 14, 2013, 12:55 PM

Put the children first. Regardless of what you feel about your ex or she feels about you, you two will always be connected by those kids. If you both really want your kids to succeed in life, as I am sure you do, then you will stop all this and get a long for the kids' sake.

Elgee · Feb 14, 2013, 12:58 PM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Put the children first. Regardless of what you feel about your ex or she feels about you, you two will always be connected by those kids. If you both really want your kids to succeed in life, as I am sure you do, then you will stop all this and get a long for the kids' sake.

Thanks Oliver... I have tried to do just that but the ex has been non-compliant. I'm hoping this next trip to court can stop this harassment. There is no need for it. Appreciate the feedback

laakry · Feb 14, 2013, 01:00 PM

I am sorry to hear this. Especially after a divorce happens, it is infinitely harder to pick yourself back up on your feet. I think your girlfriend though has to understand that you have 3 children with your ex wife, which means no matter what you CANNOT completely get rid of your ex wife from your life, even if you feel nothing for your ex romantically. That is just life, and she needs to accept that, no more or less than you having to accept that in order for you to have a relationship with a new person, they must understand your situation here as well. Sit down and calmly talk to both of them, send them an email or letter, even if they don't reply chances are they may have read it. Give it time and try to take things slow but firm. Good luck~

Elgee · Feb 14, 2013, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by laakry

I am sorry to hear this. Especially after a divorce happens, it is infinitely harder to pick yourself back up on your feet. I think your girlfriend though has to understand that you have 3 children with your ex wife, which means no matter what you CANNOT completely get rid of your ex wife from your life, even if you feel nothing for your ex romantically. That is just life, and she needs to accept that, no more or less than you having to accept that in order for you to have a relationship with a new person, they must understand your situation here as well. Sit down and calmly talk to both of them, send them an email or letter, even if they don't reply chances are they may have read it. Give it time and try to take things slow but firm. Good luck~

Thank you for the insight... excellent advice