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    myk3's Avatar
    myk3 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 18, 2006, 11:53 PM
    My ex is texting me again... what does it mean?
    I posted this one up about 2 weeks back https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=23777

    Now after how it was left off on Friday her saying it will only complicate things more if we see each other as friends and for me to take care I get a text from her yesterday (4 days after I said that). It was asking how I was doing etc, I then replied to them casually talking in coversation. Then she is asking me questions like, are you seeing any one else, have you done any thing with other girls, I miss your cuddles, she said she is depressed if she isn't drunk or not busy etc... what does all this mean? Does it mean that she wants to see me again? She obviously hasn't let go yet?
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,928, Reputation: 674
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    #2

    Apr 19, 2006, 05:36 AM
    HI,
    I looked at the link you posted.
    In this question, you said "she is depressed if she isn't drunk"!
    She could very well have a drinking problem, and doesn't know it; or she might not have.
    My suggestion is to stop all communications with her. Don't talk with her, don't communicate at all. She is making your life miserable. Give her some time, maybe 2 or 3 months, then see where she is with her life.
    Meantime, meet some new girls, be with others. This girl is making you miserable, and there is much, much more to life than that.
    myk3's Avatar
    myk3 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 19, 2006, 05:42 AM
    Much easier said than done. She don't have a problem it was more of a joke which she meant, just saying that it feels better when she is drunk or out with her friends when it isn't on her mind. Its hard for me to totally finish and stop all contact with her, as bad as this relationship may look to you reading these posts and the situation she is my best friend and sole mate. I could do and tell her any thing we loved each other so much. 2.5 years at my age may sound silly why I am getting like this but we have been together in some way of contact every day for those 2.5 years. The feeling of getting up in the morning going to work and coming home knowing I have her was great, was the best feeling I have ever felt. If there was ever any crap in my life she would be there for me and make it feel allot better. I was as close to her as I was my mother or father...
    Jayjay027's Avatar
    Jayjay027 Posts: 153, Reputation: 31
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    #4

    Apr 19, 2006, 01:03 PM
    I know how you feel. I was with a guy for 2 years and we broke up a month ago. It broke my heart completely, and we stayed friends, but every time I saw him or spoke to him, it just made me feel hurt and unhappy that we weren't together.
    When I posted it on here, I was told to not have any contact with him for a while - and I didn't take the advice. I kept talking to him and we kept txting and calling each other - It was the worst thing I could have done.
    I want him back, I'm still very much in love with him, but I have now decided to cut off all contact with him - I want to make him miss me, and wonder what I'm doing.. the same I feel about him.

    I know it's not easy - believe me, it is completely heart breaking. But trust me, the back and forth is only making it harder for you, and is prolonging the pain your feeling.
    I haven't spoken to my ex now for a few days. And after only a few days I already feel a little better. I still miss him like crazy, but Im not crying as much.

    Spend time with family and friends... be happy as a single person, enjoy life without her. If she comes back to you and you still want her back - great! That way you'll be a stronger person who can live happily without her - and if she doesn't come back to you, at least you'll be leading a happy life.

    I know this isn't what you want to hear... trust me, when I posted my problem I was told the same thing, and I didn't want to hear it so I didn't take the advice, and now I regret staying in touch as long as we did after the break up, because it only made it worse.

    Concentrate on you.
    I'm going through a similar situation, so I know the whole "easier said than done" argument.
    I'm not going to lie, it is difficult. But it DOES benefit you.

    Best of luck
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #5

    Apr 19, 2006, 03:28 PM
    I think she is playing you. She wants your friendship. Girls do this - they need attention sometimes and play with your emotions - you come running back and you'll just push her away. It's a test.

    My strong advice is CUT all contact with her for 2 months. Make her miss you. QUIT responding to text - in 2 months you may not even like her.

    But, if you do, ask her for coffee and see.

    You're broke for a reason - figure that reason out - WHY? Is it broke? Is it fixable. Do you trust and respect each other?
    myk3's Avatar
    myk3 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Apr 20, 2006, 12:48 AM
    Too me if I really think long and hard about it is what wildcate said, she still loves me and misses me, the chances is that she don't really want to be with me in a relationship she is just making sure I'm still there and single and haven't forgotten about her and have a new life. I am slowly kind of losing respect for her and not in love with her as much as I used to be. But at other times norm in the morning it kills me again and I have to go through another day of hurt. I think we may end up seeing each other again casually which will just turn in to sex. This won't make me feel much better but no matter what any one says to me, if there is a chance to see each other again and go out I will take it! Thanks for the replys.
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,928, Reputation: 674
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    #7

    Apr 20, 2006, 06:17 AM
    Hi,
    Good luck to you. I do hope that seeing her under conditions that she is not in love with you, will not just prolong your agony, and make it worse for you being around her.
    Ties with someone you love are hard to break. Some of us can live with it, continually getting hurt more, but I can't. I had to break off "being a friend" with a girl many years ago, when she found someone else, and married him. I could not face just being "friends". All the best to you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,285, Reputation: 10853
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    #8

    Apr 20, 2006, 07:32 AM
    This won't be easy but leave the girl alone not only for your sake but hers as well. She needs to get a life and you using her for your own ends is just as bad as she using you. Can you find a better way to enjoy your time on earth than using someone you admit you don't like as much as you did?:cool: :eek:

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