I was with my taurus ex 18yr before we got married after 18mths I left *although still loved him* 3 and half months ago bcause he insists in running a second business that hasn't paid him in over 2 yr just lots of debt stress and avoiding his family after 7week away he meet someone we both know, and up until last week he said it weren't serious they were just friends that she was going through marriage probs and in same situation to us that he was taking her out for dinner etc then it was he will see what happens,after all you left me he keeps saying *he tod people I would be back I was away home for a break * she still goes to stay with hubby at weekends when not working , now week later he is saying it is serious he has started taking her into a bar we own introduce her to our customers but that was after I threaten to expose it to her hubby and family *immature I know but me and my daughter wer hurting * when I asked about it he said he took her in because he didn't want me or anyone starting rumours. Then he said her family know now he didn't tell me about this women I told him I felt he had someone the way he emailed me the emails changed from loving missing me to your sexy fit etc why don't you use it to move on cause you don't want me... and I told him he was taking her into bar, someone told me, I asked and it took 3 days and a threat for him to admit it he said he loves me but can't make me happy he just last week send me a birthday card ad money to buy myself something I deleted him from my Facebook but I know he is still getting into it through my son because he told me how good I look in pics and only yesterday told me what was wrote on it I don't believe anyone could get that serious in 5 week *was it going on longer ? And what kind of women would tell her hubby and kids that after 5 week and why is he still checking on me help she has been with other men and my ex knows that she is good looking girl butshe who cheats to be with you will cheat on you

Your Husband and you had separated, you say, I really couldn't fully understand your post. So Ill have a try at advising you. On what I could make sense of.

How long ago did you separate?
Or are you now divorced?
How old is your child?
How old are you and your husband?

If you and he aren't together anymore then you made that choice so you can't blame him for moving on.

If you could answer the questions please Ill know better on how to advise you..

we split 3 months ago because of business issue that hasn't paid him in 2 yr but we mailed each day he was saying he was coming back etc and I still told him I loved him etc it was destroying our family he didn't have time for us because of the business stress etc then he met her and things changed 5 week ago but he still checking on me and sent card money etc said he loves me but can't make me happy but checking me fb everyday even though he sayd they are serious

Then I suggest you and he get together and calmly talk things over.
Do you want a divorce? Does he?
Whatever you need to talk about it calmly, and rationally, just you and he.

Perhaps you could go to counselling either together or you go on your own.

You have however taken a risk, when you and he split up, and as a result he's now hooked up with a New Girlfriend who he tells you he is serious about.

Maybe 5 weeks is somewhat too soon, but its not impossible stranger things have happened.

No matter what though you and he need to find out where your marriage is going, and you also need some serious counselling, you must find out what's gone wrong and fix it and deal with it, and make plans between you to ensure it doesn't happen again, if you don't you will get no where fast.

So first talk. Next counselling.
Please keep us informed.

Be prepared to find you have lost him, though because you just might have.

So let me get this straight. You chose to leave him, you keep asking about a female he met because if you can't have him, no one can? He denies it being serious, and once he does say it's serious you go ape s*** and decide to threaten to tell the husband about their affair. If he does not want to come back to you, even after spending weeks telling you he does, well that's his decision. You made your bed, now you have to lie in it.

No as I said it's the lies that urting us and the gutless ay he never told us and he is the 1 wanting to remain friends with me and he is the 1 checking my Facebook pics etc I love him but I don't want him now just wondering why he so interested in what I'm doing when he saying he serious about her after 5 week lol

Only he knows, but don't let Facebook get your hopes either up or let it bother you. It's not worth it.

Thanks to you and others for your input good wee site this

I have a feeling you left him to manipulate him into whatever you wanted to do with that second business. He may have felt guilty and tried to assure you will be back together, but look like now he is enjoying his newly found freedom. I don't really think he is "serious" with his girlfriend because she is married and in no position to commit to a relationship with him, but now you seem to want him back.
Quit playing games, throwing temper tantrums and ultimatums. Talk to him to see what's his intentions are now, because you may have no say in a matter anymore. He said he wants to be friends - maybe that's all you will get now. Your posts are kind of hard to understand, so my opinion is based on what I COULD understand.

Why are you even talking to this cheater? You should have been talking before you left, and resolved this second business thing. For an 18 year relationship I find the actions of you both immature, and amazingly lacking in communications.

Unless you both grow up and get your acts together, which is doubtful, this thing is doomed and maybe for the best.