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georgie1988 · May 18, 2009, 07:11 PM

Well here goes. I have recently broken up with my partner of 3 years, I am still in love with him but he says he only wants to be friends. I would love nothing more than to get him out of my life but I can't because he has been the sole person in my life for 3 years and I'm so scared to be completely alone, what will I do? It hurts to spend time with him knowing we are just friends, and I feel like as long as we spend time together I will be living in the past. I had a couple of friends before our relationships but as you do when you're young everyone drifts away. I just want to make a good choice, leave him completely or spend time with him for the sake of knowing at least somebody. I'm starting uni soon and hope to make some friends I have just never been very good at it. I'm just so tred of feeling depressed and like any choice I make will lead to more unhappiness. I regret ever being in such a committed relationship for so long, it has ruined my life and I feel s utterly lost and sad. I just wish I had a couple of good friends so that I had the option of leaving the one person that is poisoning my life. What do I do??

I wish · May 18, 2009, 07:35 PM

The fact that he doesn't feel the same way about you anymore means that you won't be getting back together. But spending time together with him is going to give you a false sense of hope.

If you want to get over him quicker, you need to stop seeing and contacting him. You said it yourself, you feel like you are living in the past by spending time with him. So STOP spending time together.

Start getting ready for university and move on with your life. You WILL make new friends in university and it will help you even more with the healing process. Just give yourself some distance from him and time to recover from the breakup.

kctiger · May 19, 2009, 05:55 AM

Think of this moment as a chance to start from scratch and build what you NEVER once had... a life! You have opportunities that will be right in front of your face, and as long as your ex is hovering around, you will never take advantage of them.

There is NOTHING wrong with being alone. Given the option of being alone or having my ex as my only friend, I would choose alone any day of the week. Experience life, get to know people, practice talking to people and just be yourself. Enjoy the good things and get rid of the past. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Good luck!