I know I am new here but I desperately need some advice! Me and my girlfriend of 3.5 years split up a couple months ago, and havenít even talked to each other. It's a crazy story so feel free to continue to read.

So here it goes...

My girlfriend (we'll call her Sara) had a friend (we'll call her Michelle) that she was going to college with, whom I eventually became friends with as well. So myself and Michelle started to text back and forth on a fairly regular basis. After some time our texts became increasingly flirty with each other. Probably to the point that shouldn't have been reached, but nothing physical ever happened between me and Michelle.

The very next evening after Michelle and I's last explicit text I get a phone call from my girlfriend Sara. Sara blew up on me!! Basically Michelle told Sara about all of our texts back and forth, and even showed the texts to Sara on her phone. My girlfriend was rightfully pissed at me!! And told me she needed her space. So at this point I didn't know what to do. The very next morning I get a phone call from Sara asking why I never called her back, texted, or e-mailed, or even drove down to see her to sort things out(let me remind you my girlfriend, Sara, goes to school 4 hours away from me). So we ended up talking on the phone for an hour about what happened, and then Sara told me she needed to go and hung up. So immediately after we get off the phone I jump in my car and drive 4 hours to go see her to hopefully sort all of this out and put an end to everything. I was unaware of the fact that on my way driving down to see Sara, she went and checked my e-mailed and saw that I was still talking to me ex girlfriend (Brittney) from high school.

Which 6 months prior me and Sara had an argument when she found out I was talking to Brittney and I told her I would stop. So it doesn't look good when I was going behind her back talking to her still, just adding more fuel to the fire. So when I finally get to my Sara's apartment 4 hours later, we start talking about the whole situation with me flirting with her friend and asking if there has been anything she should know about. I of course told her "no"... then she responded "well...what about the e-mails you are sending to Brittney?" Once that came out I knew this was going to be a bigger battle than what I had originally thought. So after being caught lying about that she asked me again if there is anything she should know about. I paused and finally broke down and told her truth that last time (December 08) I went home I slept with her best friend and my friend as well from high school. Obviously her heart was brocken. We ended up talking a couple more hours, basically myself trying plead my case and asking her to give me another chance and that I could change and be the man she deserves. Right before I left we agreed to talk again a few weeks later after things cool down a bit, and we ended up crying in each otherís arm before I walked out the door.

In the 3 weeks before our phone call, I sent her one text a week saying Iím sorry, I miss her, and I still love her. I also sent her a letter pouring my heart out to her in the mail, before I had to leave for a work conference. I got back from my work conference on a Saturday (a few days before we were going to talk). When I get back I received a letter back in the mail from her with just my apartment key in the mail... so that really hurt!!

So a couple days pass and she calls me. I would have called her sooner but a lot of articles I read online said wait for her to contact you, so I was trying to play that card which really didn't seem to work... anyways... We end up talking for about an hour. The gist of the conversation was her trying to get closure on why I cheated on her, and then her last words to me was "DONT TEXT ME, DONT E-MAIL ME, DONT CALL ME....HAVE A NICE LIFE!!!" I was devastated, not knowing what to do, I fly back home for a week to hopefully regroup myself and not be such an emotional wreck. At this point I never felt so weak as a man in my life before!!

So a couple weeks passed and I came back from home. I decided to e-mail her... basically pouring my heart out to heart, professing my undying love. Then I got the bright idea that if she really wanted me out of her life, she wonít read the e-mail and possibly delete it. So a couple days pass and I go in and check her e-mail. To my surprise not only did she read the e-mail she forwarded it to her older sister, and roommate. I'm assuming to get there advice on what to do. Her sister wrote her back saying "I saw this coming, it wonít be the last one, donít reply, you have done so good". And of course I get no e-mail back, no surprise.

Another week passes and my best friend from high school told me he wrote Sara an e-mail basically saying that Iím a good man, she needs to give me another chance, I have changed, and that he (my friend) has never seen me so emotional before, and that I made a mistake and everybody makes mistakes thus everyone deserves a second chance. He also told her to think for herself and not what everyone is telling her to do(i.e. her mom and older sister) She wrote back to him saying that she can honestly believe that I have changed, maybe I could be that changed man for another women. But she doesn't know if Iím still lying about the past or if I will lie again in the future. I need to move on with my life and told my friend to pass that along to me.

Why canít she tell me that herself?

So that night I call Sara and leave her a voice mail telling her if that is what she feels than she needs to be able to look me into the eyes and tell me that and mean it from her heart. Until then I can't believe her and I'm not going to give up on us or the love that we had together. To no surprise, I get nothing back.

So about 5 days after that I write her a note saying the exact things I left in the voice mail, plus more. And drove 4 hours to put it on her door step to just drive all the way back. On my way back about half way I get a phone call from her Mom!! Saying that "I need to stop and there is nothing left. Sara told me to have a nice life for a reason" There was more to the conversation but I'm sure you get the jist of it.

So since then its been two weeks and I havenít tried to make any sort of contact with her. My question is why can't Sara tell me this stuff herself. She canít even do it over a text or an e-mail the most impersonal way!! Iím so confused! If she truly means what she says then why canít she tell me? Or am I still living in denial? Iím so confused and donít know what to do anymore. Maybe she just needs more time. It has now been two months since we broke up.

Please some good honest advice would be greatly appreciated! She was going to be my wife, we had plans on getting engaged within the next year, and actually we were supposed to go ring shopping when she came home for the holidays this year :(