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    Kentguy_08's Avatar
    Kentguy_08 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 26, 2010, 01:07 AM
    Ex girlfriend won't take me back after breaking up
    I was with my ex for almost a year. She went through bad relationships before. We both met and fell for each other quickly. We both do the same job but in different areas. Any way I had problems with commitment and it caused issues with us. We had small break ups of a few days at a time but got back stronger. Any way in August we took a break so I could sort my head out and I was under pressure due to my dad having cancer and work issues. Towards end of August I said I didn't think there would be a future with us. She stood by me and waited. In September 10th she told me she loved me so much and missed me. So to help I went to counselling to sort my head out. It Worked and I realised I was just scared of getting hurt. She meant the world to me and I was going to get her back and marry her. You can't believe the feeling of love I had going through me once I dealt with my demons. It was amazing. However just a week or so before that we had a falling out and I said a few things like " you are a thorn in my side" I deleted the comments when I calmed down. I was upset and we all make mistakes.
    Any way I called her but she wouldn't reply and talk to me. Then eventually she turned around and said she needed space and time to herself. She was sick of being hurt all the time. I told her everything about my counselling etc but it made no difference. She was so so cold. Then she said she loved me but not in love with me because I hurt her. Then said we couldt get back together because I would hurt her again. When I asked her if there was any hope for us and if not tells, and I'll move on, she won't say it. She just says I don't know what will happen In 6 months time. That's all I get. I'm confused. She says she is not seeing anyone else, but she is so cold around me and won't see me. I don't know what to do or how to get her back.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #2

    Sep 26, 2010, 01:34 AM

    First: You will not get her back, ITS OVER.

    Second: It is time to move on no matter what she says or does not say.

    Third: Does not matter whether she is seeing someone else or not it is over.

    Fourth: Fix yourself up, work on yourself. Improve on yourself and live your own life for now. Until someday you might meet somebody else.
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
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    #3

    Sep 26, 2010, 01:55 AM
    I agree with JH.

    Funny how it works when you push people away... and hurt them several times
    They seem to think you may do it again.

    The cold hard truth is that for you to go back and try to overcome the lack
    Of trust that has been created would be a near impossibility.

    And as JH said, work on your pain and try to forget her.
    Don't call, write, text, or even wave if you see her.
    This is the best way to start healing yourself and is what you need to do now.

    I wish you well
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Sep 26, 2010, 05:05 AM

    You said it yourself - you hurt her over and over again, so what do you expect? You can't force her to be with you.

    It's great that you're getting counseling, but just going to a couple sessions doesn't change everything. She's seen you promise to change before and it hasn't worked, so what guarantees does she have?

    I have to agree with the rest that NC is the best thing to do right now. You need to work on you and you alone before you're ever going to be worthy of another chance with her.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Sep 26, 2010, 10:34 AM

    ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jesushelper76 again.

    Do your thing, and work on your own issues of insecurity, and fear, while you leave her completely alone, to keep your dignity and self respect, and see how you feel in 6 months.

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