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    endlessdesert's Avatar
    endlessdesert Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 31, 2011, 02:38 PM
    ex girlfriend wants to be friends 2 months after dumping me
    I was in a one-year relationship with a woman and during it she dumped me 3 times. The first time she dumped me for a week after I wouldn't go to the beach with her family and I swore at her child(apologized for it no excuses). The next breakup came after I went through her cell reading her texts she had been having with an ex. After about a week she wanted to get back together again when she found out her ex was playing her.

    The final breakup came without any apparent reason, she just told me she did not see us together in the future. I went on my way with no contact and about a month after that she texted me to say "hello" and hoped we could be friends sometime. I told her I was not interested or ready for a friendship with her. Another month passes and she contacts me on Facebook wanting to be friends. At this point I told her she could contact me if she needed me for anything but I ignored her Facebook friend request.

    She then texted me a couple days after that asking if I wanted to hang out sometime and apologizing for everything and that her son told her he missed me. I told her I was moving from the east coast to the west coast in a couple months(true) but that we could do lunch before I left. She agreed and we made a date, well fast forward 2 weeks I never gave her a time and she texts me wanting to know if I still want to do lunch.

    I told her I still would but to be honest I'm not certain if I should even bother. I mean I am leaving in a month and I can't figure out why in the world she even wants to see me knowing I will be 3000 miles away soon. Do you think she is trying to get back together with me but is so embarrassed because of breaking up with me 3x she won't come out and admit it?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jan 31, 2011, 02:48 PM

    She has had her 3 strikes and she is OUT!! I don't see the point of staying friends or giving attention to females that dump you once to be honest.

    So why are you even talking to her, she is setting you up to fall yet again, but whose counting.
    endlessdesert's Avatar
    endlessdesert Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 31, 2011, 03:05 PM
    I know what you are saying talaniman, and I agree with you 100%. Is it because she has no idea what she wants? I have never had a woman do this before, usually one breakup and they are gone for good.
    Marriedguy's Avatar
    Marriedguy Posts: 474, Reputation: 115
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    #4

    Jan 31, 2011, 03:18 PM

    Do you really want to friends or are you preparing for something more? Clean break, if she wants to get back with you tell her that you won't allow her to weasel her back in your life under the disguise of friendship. Walk, no run away.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #5

    Jan 31, 2011, 06:01 PM

    Leave her alone. She has dumped you three times but you let her do it the second an third time.
    Don't volunteer for mistreatment. Tell her thanks but no thanks.
    pahlp's Avatar
    pahlp Posts: 22, Reputation: 11
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    #6

    Nov 26, 2011, 09:18 PM
    In my opionion there are basically two ways one would consider friendship with ex. 1. You share children with the ex, effort should be made to be civil for the kids sake. 2. Your alone and have nothing better to do. Lets imagine this fantasy, you found the love of your life and enjoying life and one day you wake up and decide to tell your mate "hey I decided I'm going to call the ex and see if he/she wants to have coffee and bagels, I want to see if we can form a friendship" REALLY. Now who does that? And if your future partner said that you would think they have gone whacko. Friendship with the ex is usually discussed early in the breakup, if you work on yourself and try to improve your life, see what role you played in the demise of the relationship, look at the future and plan, you will get your closure, conquer any anger issues and move on with your life.

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