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    DaKobo2010's Avatar
    DaKobo2010 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 4, 2010, 06:39 AM
    What do I do? Do I make the first move?
    Multiple threads merged, please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread

    My ex & I broke up, we just ran into each other for the first time in 6 months. She says she still loves me & made a point to tell me she wasn't with anyone - I still love her, I acted cool like I didn't care but she knows I do. What do I do?
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
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    #2

    May 4, 2010, 07:15 AM

    It's not so much what do you do. It's more like what do you want? Do you want to get back together? She made her move, now the ball is on your side of the court. If you want her back, then let her know.

    But I caution that you broke up for a reason or many reasons. So if you can't fix the problem(s) that broke you up in the first place, then getting back together will only blow up again.

    If you plan on opening a can of worms, make sure you have a way to contain them.
    DaKobo2010's Avatar
    DaKobo2010 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 4, 2010, 07:16 AM
    I know I still love her and I did the non contact thing for 6 months - I want her back - what do I do?? I don't want to seem too desperate but I do miss her terribly - I truly feel she is the one and we broke up basically because we both were stuborn and let opur egos get in the way of a good thing - I'm lost. I am a take charge person and my gut tells me to go see her and tell her exactly the way I feel.
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    DaKobo2010 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 4, 2010, 08:13 AM
    Ex girlfriend tells me she's not with anyone but doenst know if she's ready to hang out? Why?
    Threads merged

    I ran into her this weekend and it was nice, we both complimented one another, she made a point to tell me she's not with anyone and we both said I love you as we parted - what do I do? I did the whole 6 month NC to the tee!! But I want her back - is she waiting for me to make the first move? I am a take charge person and I want to go see her and tell her how I feel - is this a bad move? Please, any opinion is helpful, this is driving me nuts!!
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #5

    May 4, 2010, 08:14 AM

    Why did you break up in the first place?

    It didn't work out the first time around, so what makes you believe that the 2nd time will work out?

    Just remember that she's your EX for a reason.
    DaKobo2010's Avatar
    DaKobo2010 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    May 4, 2010, 08:19 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Devorameira View Post
    Why did you break up in the first place?

    It didn't work out the first time around, so what makes you believe that the 2nd time will work out?

    Just remember that she's your EX for a reason.
    Honestly, it was bad timing, I just lost my job and she was starting Grad school - as soon as we moved in together, things went bad, she became increasingly distant, lazy (not cleaning or doing her part) and honestly pushing me away and I really couldn't stand for it - I gave her an ultimatum and she left. It was hard, we both love each other, I know she need time as I did - she really is a great girl and believe me I know exes are exes for a reason but this girl is different, I've been able to get over every girl I've dated very easily, but she's just always on my mind and seeing her was hard - I still see the love in her eyes but just don't know what to do - is it stupid for me to make the move or is it best to continue NC??
    DaKobo2010's Avatar
    DaKobo2010 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    May 4, 2010, 11:36 AM
    Okay I am going to see her - I cant deal with the not knowing, I need closure.
    Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread.

    I ran into her this weekend and it was nice, we both complimented one another, she made a point to tell me she's not with anyone and we both said I love you as we parted - what do I do? I did the whole 6 month NC to the tee!! But I want her back - is she waiting for me to make the first move? I am a take charge person and I want to go see her and tell her how I feel - is this a bad move? Please, any opinion is helpful, this is driving me nuts!!
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
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    #8

    May 4, 2010, 11:40 AM
    If you can't even initiate small talk without feeling like you're being desperate, then you're definitely opening a can of worms without means of controlling it.

    Get a hold of yourself!!!

    You can't expect to wake up the next morning and she becomes your girlfriend all over again.

    But again, be careful that you're not jumping back into a relationship only to break up again. Make sure that you've worked out the issues that broke you up in the first place.

    But before you think so far, take it one step at the time. Start by calilng her and seeing if she's free to hang out, (ex: coffee). See if you can catch up on each other's lives for the last 6 months of MIA. See where that leads.
    DaKobo2010's Avatar
    DaKobo2010 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    May 4, 2010, 11:48 AM

    You are right - I'm just feeling like I need to fig it out and be done, move on or try again - its just tough, I'm not usually this guy, I've always been able to love & leave you know? When its over its over but not this one! I do appreciate your advice very much though, thank you.

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