You are getting way ahead of yourself. Don't worry about those things.

Concentrate on yourself and having fun. Healing now.

Time will tell. You may find that you wake up one day & she is a vague memory.

And you are stronger from it.

I've been reading all of these posts, and I'm really impressed with your progress. Seriously, you were a shell of the man you were at the start of the thread, and now you've realised that you need to move on, and you're beginning to do that. Well done. I'm serious because realising what you have to do is the first step. Don't be hard on yourself when you have setbacks, because it happens to everyone, there is no deadline for being over her, it will take as long as it takes. But you're definitely on the right track, she won't be the end of you, she'll only be one chapter in your life, and when you think about it, a life has about 10-20 chapters, not all centred around one person. Your life is so much bigger than one person.
You'll find someone else, she's out there and she's coming for you as fast as she can.

Very interesting developments over the past week, I think my setback was due to it being springbreak, everyone else was gone and I was lonely so I started to miss her, cause as soon as I started hanging out with my friends again she jumped to the back of my mind, anyway, 2 things, first, last Saturday I went out with one of my pledge brothers and we hung out with these 2 girls, and 1 of them I met last year and we talked a lot and have been talking a lot over the past week, and she's such a sweet girl and I can tell she likes me but I don't want her to be a rebound and I honestly do not feel like being tied down right now AT ALL, she invited me to go to a date function with her tomorrow night, so I'm going with her and her friends and a few of my brothers are coming too, should be fun, however, I don't know how to handle her, I'm interested in her, but bad timing, I feel like she thinks we're already together, she likes kind of clingy, and amidst the intoxication tomorrow night I don't want to do something that willl give her the wrong idea, so what do I do? Should I just let it be, or talk to her about it?

ALSO, I was at a party last night, had a great time, she wasn't there, but I was talking to a lot of other girls, I got a text from my ex, she asked me how I was doing, didn't respond, blah gross don't care about her, her brother messages me this morning and tells me that her and her boyfriend broke up, and I know I shouldn't have let it effect me, but it honestly pissed me off more than anything, I had finally accepted that she was happy with someone, I got to the part or I have been getting to the poitn where I do not care, and this happens,when her brother told me that I was so shocked ijust stared at the screen, but yeah, she's done though, not talking to her, I'm so proud of myself for not responding to her or for not getting all excited that they broke up, I really am moving on, but I'm just worried about this new girl because I do not want to hurt her feelings, but there is the possibility of maybe id want to date her maybe sometime and the near future when I'm not so busy, I've been single a bit longer, but of course nobody wants to be left waiting...

Well before you go out with the new girl tomorrow, tell her the truth. You like her, but you are just getting over your last relationship, and you don't really want to date anyone seriously until you are completely over your ex. You want to ahng out with her, but you don't want to lear her on because you are afraid it would turn into a rebound relationship. Be straight up with her in the beginning. Try not to get completely trashed, and let it get out of hand - because then you'll have to have the conversation all over again the next day or next time you see her.

Definitely just keep doing your thing - don't think about your ex whether she has a boyfriend or not - I wouldn't go back to her - she had her chance, screwed it up to go out with someone else, now you are going to move on, and she will have to accept that you aren't waiting around for her.

Just because she seems eager doesn't mean anything. She maybe is just staking out her territory for the upcoming events. While I believe in honesty, I believe in paying attention before jumping to conclusions and staying out of bad situations, especially where alcohol, and females are freely being mixed.

You would feel foolish if a one night stand, and not a relationship was on her mind, or worse yet, just casual making out. Isn't that what young people do when they party, just hook up??

Relax guy, and have fun, stay alert, and have no worries that are not there yet.

Beats tripping off the ex, got to admit!

Hey man Ive been reading through your thread all day long, seems like it hit you really hard and sorry to hear about it. I had my ex breakup with me back in Jan and it was my first love as well. I have to admit it does suck a lot but you will see the brighter side of things soon. I was a wreck after I got dumped, thought she was the best the world had to offer blah blah blah. She isn't s**t. Im going to put you right around 20 right? Im a little older and to be honest the only person that should matter at a age like this is you. I still think about my ex everyday but I found that you just have to start hating her for what she did and for being so selfish. I know its not easy and not sure how far you are with healing but everything will workout bud. There is always somebody out there that will better the person you are with. Anyway hope you are doing well, keep up the healing!

Haven't updated in about a week and a half, but wow, I feel like a million bucks right now. The ex is no longer the biggest stresser in my life, as a matter of fact, whenever I think about her, it's like a numb sort of indifference towards her. I went back home for easter, and it was a nice day out so I took a book ("the 7 habits of highly effective people" if you haven't read it, I recommend doing it, it'll really change your outlook on things) anyway, I took a book to our 'spot' while we were dating. I can honestly say, she didn't cross my mind once while I was there, I think this past weekend, on Saturday, it was the first time I went a whole day without thinking of her once, and if I did it was subconciously.
I don't know how I've fast forwarded so quickly from about a month ago to now, I think just being around other girls, and seeing that other girls are attracted to me makes me feel a lot better, I'm still not ready to date other people, and besides that I don't think I want to, I'm having wayyyyy too much fun being single.

But when I look back at all that I went through last semester and at the beginning of this semester, I'm so happy that I went through all of it, I'm such a better person, I'm much more humble and down to earth, I try to treat everyone with as much respect as possible, and I've done things that I've always wanted to do, like learning to play the piano (still working on it). I've made sooo many more friends, and I've met a lot more girls, and now I'm starting to gauge what I'd want in my next girlfriend, however far off that is.

I'm going to keep updating, but no more setbacks, I feel that even through all of this, I still wantedd her back, or at the very least, to be as miserable as I was, now, I don't want her back, she's not good enough for me, or 'she's not my type', secondly, I want her to be happy, just like I want everyone that I ever come in contact with to be happy, and maybe in a few months, or years, we can be friends again, right now I'm focused on me and I'm looking forward to my future.

Thanks for all the support, and following my story, all of the advice that I've received has helped me go from crying boy in my bed last August, to the maturing, confident young man I'm turning into.

That's great to hear my friend! Proof that things get easier with time.

Glad you are doing well! Keep it up!

Great news!
Keep going.

Right on, buddy.

hey man, your posts are courageous. The pain does go away and all that are left are fruitless memories. Kind of on the same note... I hung out with my ex ex girlfriend last night randomly after a year and 3 months of not talking really and not really seeing each other. I was like you when we broke up, bed ridden and depressed for months!! My first love and my first everything!! We dated 3 years and I was crushed when she broke up with me... but when we hung out we went to BJs pizza and had dinner... dude there were NOOOO feelings at all!! It was rather just awkward and I wanted the night to be over because I had moved on emotionally, phsicall and mentally and to me she was just another stranger... we had nothing in common really and our lives have gone completely separate ways! I look back now and I'm SO grateful I went through that time of trial and strife! It made me such a better person for myself and my next relationship! Time does heal wounds whether you like it or not. Its amazing how when your in the moment nothing seems like it will ever compare to her again, but when time goes on... you kind of get just a feeling of disgust and uneasy feeling when you think about them. When we departed for the night, I walked her to the door... said my good byes and peaced it out of there for the last time I would ever see her!! She said we should hang out again and I said maybe ( when in all reality I will never in the light of day) when I got home she kept texting me and I didn't respond. I'm so glad I hung out with her in a way, because it let me see the truth and not see her for the all the "happy" and "good" memories of her. Not to be harsh, but to me she's literally nothing. Anyway your doing good man, each day u get stronger. Keep it up.

I've been doing pretty well, but there are some times, like right now, that I really really miss this girl lol. Haven't been in contact since like jan. but there are just times, usually when I'm alone for long periods, where I miss our relationship and wish I could go back. Ever happen to anyone else?

Yep - still happens sometimes. It's normal to miss someone - My ex and I broke up April 2009 and I still miss him on occasion - just get your mind off it and think of how much fun your life is now. There will be another... :-)

Just be glad you aren't in contact.
Believe me.

Happens to me that's for sure. It's easier to deal with if you've got a lot of other stuff going on in your life, but you know that.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, absolutely no contact for the past 7 or 8 months I don't know not counting, no fb, no email, nothing. Ive got a job and Im taking a summer class, but if I get stuck in one night and I'm by myself, my mind goes straight to her. It's frustrating to me now because, before I thought I was over, I didn't care about anything going on in her life, now I understand that I wasn't over her, I was just distracted.

Its strange because I remember thinking probably about this time last year sitting in church "i hope i dont forget about how unhappy i am now if we break up", but for some reason all I can think about was all of the good times we had and all of the things she was to me. Even still, it's been almost a year, and sometimes ill sit at work for hours at a time thinking about her, I can't let it go and I don't know what else I can do to move on, I know it takes 'time' but a year is a long time to still be skipping meals sometimes because I can't stop thinking of her.

The key for you is to recognize when you have these thought (sitting alone), and get up and actually change your focus. Instead of sitting and dwelling, have things to do, like clean your mirror, rearrange your desk at work, or polish your shoes, anything that takes the focus from random thoughts, and feelings, to actual actions to refocus your attention, in more productive ways.

It's a way of developing coping skills, that we all have to have to deal with our feelings in positive, and productive ways. I think this is more about you finding out things about yourself, and having coping strategies that work for you. I doubt that its about her any more, or the healing process, but taking what you have learned about you, and putting it to work for yourself.

Didn't think it could be so complicated did you? Its not after some practice.

I LOVE threads like that, and yes, I've read all 24 pages because it is a story of yet another triumph. Sadnlost (what's up with this name, lose it already!), you have a slight setback and I'm sure you will handle it properly just as you had in a past. But I have a question for you - after so much time apart and pretty much healed, why are you still not dating? Are you sure you don't harbor any hope for you to be back together with her? I know you don't want to - otherwise you'd jump on opportunity to restart the contact when she broke up with her boyfriend - but what's keeping you from completely moving on?

Oh and on a side note - don't you love how they feel so entitled to waltz in and out of our lives - the second she broke up with her new boytoy, she tried to restart things with you - until another boytoy will come along and she'd beak your heart over again. I doubt her brother was contacting you - after you ignored her, she texted you from his phone out of desperation.
So selfish.

Stay strong. You're the winner!

Really you aren't alone in the fact that she pops into your mind still. I wore a shirt my ex gave me today to a phillies game and he popped into my head - its so easy to think about the good things. No one likes to remember the bad times. Its OK to think once in a while, but like the others said - change your focus and start dating.

There are a lot of wonderful people in this world once you go out and meet them.