Me and my ex was together for 8 years until 4 weeks ago when we finished. We had our ups and downs but we had a good life and had worked hard for everything that we have got. My ex said I became to clingy and made her feel unloved, unwanted and unattractive as I struggle showing affection. Things had been bad for about 8 months I have been having problems etc with work and had been getting really down and taking it out on my ex.
The week before we finished a guy added her on Facebook and started flirting with her etc and she said she had her head turned. 5 days after we split she jumped into bed with him which is not like her. They have met up about 5 times since our split she says neither of them want anything it's just a bit of fun and unattached sex, but they constantly text each other and ring though? My ex says she's enjoying her freedom again and doesn't want a relationship. We are still living together due to mortgage commitments and neither can afford to leave so we are sleeping in separate bedrooms.
My ex keeps giving me mixed signals and says she still finds me attractive etc and when we talk she stares deep into my eyes. We had a massive row 2 nights ago about this new guy and I left and stayed out the night, I returned in the morning to find her in my bed on my side cuddling my pillow, I asked what she was doing and she said it's comfier than the spare bed! She blows hot and cold with me all the time 1 minute she's really nice and the next she's cold & nasty! We agreed to have no contact and try to stay out of each others way for a while and 4 hours later she texts about something random and that night when I came home I said I was going upstairs out the way to watch a film and she followed and asked could she come to, she got in my bed and said I've missed my side so much then there was a part of the film which they were planning for a baby and she said that would have been us.
She went out for her birthday and texted me saying can we talk when she gets home so I agreed, she returned drunk she stripped and got in my bed and cuddled me and kept saying this feels so good, we cuddled for at least 1/2 hr and then she got upset saying where did we go wrong etc and she still loves me I was her everything,we were so connected we didn't even have to speak we just knew what each other thought and she loved that. She said I helped shape half the person that she is and she thinks about me all the time and she does love me but we can't get back together because I drained her being needy and you can't go back you can only go forward? She kissed me and then said I need to go get in the spare bed it's not fair to stay in here and left.
The next night she asked could she sleep in my bed so I agreed and she spent the night cuddling me and told me that her head was messed up and that she used to love me more than anything. We woke in the morning and she was cuddling me again and then her phone went and it was the new guy so she got up and went off to text him!
She blows hot and cold with me all the time and I'm confused by it all, I am going out this weekend and she has asked to come with me which I have agreed to. Do you think she is genuinely confused and that she still loves me? I don't understand why the need for the new guy? Advise would be great

Exs are exs.

All the snooping & detective work isn't helping now, is it?

You both are done. Broken up. No longer a couple. How else can I say it? Im not her.

Want me to lend you some binoculars?

Or a magnifier?

"My ex says she's enjoying her freedom again and doesn't want a relationship"

Enjoy yours. Freedom, I mean.

If I heard that. I'd be gone.

BTW.

You don't need advise from us, you need legal advice to undo your finances together, one of you leave, and stop this torture.

You are just a piece of furniture in a crowded room, and half the rent.When you learn to say NO, and keep her out of your bed, you will be a free as she is.

Yea I agree with them you Don't need advice from us you need to leave her alone and be needy to a lawyer! She is confused and she wants her cake and ice cream too! That's not fair to you because it sounds like you are still in love with this woman. Just leave her alone because as long as you entertain her the longer she will continue to use you. And that is in all honesty.