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    roos0305's Avatar
    roos0305 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 7, 2009, 07:58 AM
    My ex called me
    My ex called me very late last night. I didn't pick up partly because it was already late and partly because I didn't know what to say. I was the one who dumped him and we didn't have contact for one whole month.

    For the past month I've been thinking a lot about us. I think I was a bit too impulsive and impatient to make this decision. We had a huge fight (to me it was but I think he didn't understand how serious the issue was), and I dumped him without giving him a chance to explain. I feel guilty for saying all those mean things to him. I feel guilty for playing a mind game when he was always consistent in his actions. I didn't mean to play a mind game, I'm not that kind of person, but because of the issue that we had (which was big to me but not to him) kept me getting away from him and going back to him.

    I seriously think I want to get back to him. He didn't do anything wrong to me. I think we just have a miscommunication issue.

    But will he forgive me and trust me enough next time? Should I pick up his call next time? I'm still afraid he'd be mad at me.
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
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    #2

    Apr 7, 2009, 08:00 AM
    Exes are your exes for a reason- that's my take.

    MRS.S
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #3

    Apr 7, 2009, 08:02 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by mudweiser View Post
    Exes are your exes for a reason.

    MRS.S
    This is such a cliché answer, and I don't think it helps one bit. If you want to have a chat with him, there is nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. Take things slow, don't jump to conclusions, have zero expectations, and just enjoy whatever happens. Who knows why he was calling... but if you want to go to lunch or something rather informal, go for it. Ya never know!
    starlite1's Avatar
    starlite1 Posts: 753, Reputation: 58
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    #4

    Apr 7, 2009, 08:08 AM

    Hi Roos,

    Did he leave a message when he called? Regardless, give him a call and see what is up. Gauge the conversation, and then if it goes well, ask him to lunch or coffee.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #5

    Apr 7, 2009, 08:20 AM

    I think we just have a miscommunication issue.
    If you think the relationship is still viable,then give it a go.
    Hopefully ,you both have used this break time to understand what caused the mis communication and can resolve to have better communication in the future.

    As KCtiger said have zero expectations.I would add to that ,communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

    Conflict Exploration
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #6

    Apr 7, 2009, 08:23 AM

    Give him a call back, see what's up and go from there.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Apr 7, 2009, 08:26 AM

    Talk to him, and make your decisions based on facts, and not just feelings, or assumptions, or miscommunications.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #8

    Apr 7, 2009, 08:29 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    This is such a cliche answer, and I don't think it helps one bit. If you want to have a chat with him, there is nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. Take things slow, don't jump to conclusions, have zero expectations, and just enjoy whatever happens. Who knows why he was calling...but if you want to go to lunch or something rather informal, go for it. Ya never know!
    I tend to agree with you. Exes are exes for a reason, but people also make mistakes that doesn't reflect their character. It's when the same choices are made over and over again is when, truly, "exes are exes for a [good] reason".

    He won't be mad, he'll be happy you're talking with him. He did call you after all, which indicates he wants you. If he was mad you would know it for sure.

    He'll trust you if you're absolutely certain about what you want and talk with him with a clear head. Essentially, if you trust yourself he'll trust you. If you want to get back with him because you're lonely or guilty, then I'd advise against it and take more time on your own.
    roos0305's Avatar
    roos0305 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Apr 7, 2009, 08:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by starlite1 View Post
    Hi Roos,

    Did he leave a message when he called? Regardless, give him a call and see what is up. Gauge the conversation, and then if it goes well, ask him to lunch or coffee.
    No, he didn't, and I know why, because his cell's been having problem with sms, so he couldn't send any anyway. And me, my email account's been having problems too, I couldn't access it these past few days (so funny how these things happen to malfunction at the same time).

    I will give him a call after work and see how it goes. Thank you for all your answers! I think I sort of freaked out. I feel like a coward for being afraid to talk to him, I mean after all those things I said to him! I would even hate myself at that time.
    blackchick's Avatar
    blackchick Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Feb 29, 2012, 04:45 PM
    If you still love him and if you still want to give another shot with him go ahead give him another chance. Just be very careful. You guys have to talk and settle your issues. Do what makes you happy. And ask GOD to lead the way!
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