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    Walla12's Avatar
    Walla12 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 3, 2007, 07:57 AM
    My Ex boyfriend said he's not over his ex so we broke up, what should I do ?
    Hi Everyone - I was in a relationship with a guy for a month he had been chasing me for 4 months but I wasn't sure as didn't think a guy could like me that much..! We started seeing each other and would make sure to meet me 2 or 3 times a week and was really nice to me but he finished with me recently and said he was not ready for anything serious at the moment and said he really enjoyed our time together and wishes that he was over his ex.. and he said if it was a few months down the line it could have been different that it was bad timing, that he would love to be over his ex..


    She called it off with him about 8 months ago as there was family death and she couldn't cope with having a boyfriend after that. I realised after he said this that I really liked him and that I have never meet anyone like him even after a month as we got to know each other very well and got close. I said I would see him around and he said of course we will meet out, and he might even buy me a drink. I would like your advice on what to do and what he is feeling?
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #2

    Aug 3, 2007, 01:03 PM
    If you like him just be his friend for now, I think he was very honest and sincere that he said he wasn't over his ex. Must people would just jump rite into new relationship without healing first so I respect that he did this. I don't how long him and ex were together or how they were together but it's hard to tell as far as what he is feeling he probably still cares for ex and likes you but doesn't want to hurt you if him and ex get back?
    SpawnOfAzazel's Avatar
    SpawnOfAzazel Posts: 106, Reputation: 18
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    #3

    Aug 3, 2007, 01:04 PM
    There is nothing you can do except to move on. Like he said, he's not over his ex and unfortunately, you were the rebound girl. Bad timing indeed, but don't blame yourself. He shouldn't have led you on like that.
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #4

    Aug 3, 2007, 01:11 PM
    All you can do is look forward. You should give him space and he clearly needs time to heal from his break up.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,320, Reputation: 1612
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    #5

    Aug 3, 2007, 02:05 PM
    I never intentionally sought out "rebound" relationships after big breakups...

    That said, twice I pursued, dated, and broke it off with girls after big relationships fell apart. There's a really good chance that he meant no harm and that he had good intentions.

    Well... where does that leave you? Bad timing. Until he's over her for good, he's no good to you. And even then, he might just have to be another lesson learned.

    It took me almost 2 years to get over one girl. Sometimes you want so badly to feel better, to feel normal again, that you push it too much.

    It is no excuse to let him off the hook. But I'm guessing he saw a lot in you that was worth chasing... its just after the chase you have to deal with the emotions of a relationship, and clearly he doesn't think she's out of his system.

    Which means you need to work him out of yours.

    I ended up being friends with one of the girls a year or so down the line. There was always a bit of a spark, but it was just better for us to call it "bad timing" and move on.

    The other girl that I dated after a different breakup, well, she never talked to me again.

    Just cause he broke it off doesn't mean you weren't worth pursuing. He chased you for reasons that are not gone. He just didn't get that she was too much in his system. It happens.
    hettie's Avatar
    hettie Posts: 71, Reputation: 8
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    #6

    Aug 5, 2007, 03:15 AM
    At least he was hoest perhaps he thought he was ready and sadly for you your relationship was what it took for him to realise he not over her don't be mad athimit hard to get over somerelationships. The problem is how do you know you are over someone until you strart seeing someone else? There is always a first after a relationship breakdown and sadly it not always work out.I am still wary of getting involved with anyone sionce I split with ex 17 weeks ago as I not want to innvolve anyone e lse in my emotional mess, yat ex has been seeing someone f0r last 3 weeks we all doo thing differently he dumped me so he moved on sooner if your ex was dumped he may just have trustissues give him time and if not then so be it
    natetheskate's Avatar
    natetheskate Posts: 56, Reputation: 0
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    #7

    Aug 5, 2007, 04:19 AM
    If you are really into the guy and can deal with taking him back after the mess, hook him up with his ex. This could lead to them being back together. If he returns with no strings take him back, make sure to trim whatever is left off, the string that is. If it takes more than a month and a half uncohursed, move on.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,137, Reputation: 10852
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    #8

    Aug 5, 2007, 06:12 AM
    He has to work on his own feelings, and you must move on to other better things. He is still getting over her.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,473, Reputation: 760
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    #9

    Aug 5, 2007, 07:43 AM
    I agree with the others. He was honest and straightforward with you and didn't string you along any longer than a month. Forget about it and move on. In the future, beware of men on the rebound.
    Walla12's Avatar
    Walla12 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Aug 15, 2007, 02:38 AM
    Has an ex boyfriend come back?
    Hey - my ex boyfriend broke up with me after a month we got on really well together he would ring me and he took me out and called to see me during the week and meet the weekend, he would text me to say how he was looking forward to meeting me but, he finished with me recently and said he was not ready for anything serious at the moment and said he really enjoyed our time together and wishes that he was over his ex.. and he said if it was a few months down the line it could have been different that it was bad timing, that he would love to be over his ex..

    She called it off with him about 8 months ago as there was family death and she couldn't cope with having a boyfriend after that. I realised after he said this that I really liked him and that I have never meet anyone like him even after a month as we got to know each other very well and got close. I said I would see him around and he said of course we will meet out, and he might even buy me a drink.

    I am just wondering has anyone got back with an ex boyfriend after he gets over an ex and was happy together again? If so, what made him get over his ex girlfriend?
    sully123's Avatar
    sully123 Posts: 567, Reputation: 148
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    #11

    Aug 15, 2007, 02:52 AM
    Just give him time and don't push the issue, tell him you will be there for him... when he is ready, even to be just a friend.
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
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    #12

    Aug 16, 2007, 12:19 PM
    "I am just wondering has anyone got back with an ex boyfriend after he gets over an ex and was happy together again? If so, what made him get over his ex girlfriend?"

    Time. Only time works here. If you can be friends with him, meeting for a drink whatever, this might still work out. But you should get on with your own life too in case it doesn't. Don't put your life on hold for him.
    victoria_mitchell's Avatar
    victoria_mitchell Posts: 242, Reputation: 32
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    #13

    Aug 16, 2007, 01:00 PM
    I am with Kodi the greatest guy ever but I have had a thing for him for 4 years and he just got over his ex a year and a 1/2 ago. I met him and I was totally in love with him... We never actually were boyfriend and gilrfriend but we kissed occasionally and we'd go to parties together and hangout at his house.

    I asked him if there was ever going to be a chance for us to be in a relationship and he said that he was not over his ex yet and he didn't know when we would be and that it wasn't fair to lead me on and then we went our separate ways I found out that after that he got back with his ex and was on and off with her for 6 months or so

    Last year in May I called him up to see if he wanted to go to prom with my because I had just broken up with my boyfriend at the time and I had no date... he said yes and we had a blast. Less than a month later he said "I'm over Liz (his ex) and I want you in my life, I'm sorry I didn't realize so long ago what i was missing out on." and we have now been together for almost 14 months and we are even discussing getting married :) :) :)

    Love will find you when you least expect it.
    Walla12's Avatar
    Walla12 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Sep 21, 2007, 06:34 AM
    Is my ex-boyfriend afraid of getting hurt again?
    QUOTE=Walla12]Hey - my ex boyfriend broke up with me after a month we got on really well together he would ring me and he took me out and called to see me during the week and meet the weekend, he would text me to say how he was looking forward to meeting me but, he finished with me recently and said he was not ready for anything serious at the moment and said he really enjoyed our time together and wishes that he was over his ex..and he said if it was a few months down the line it could have been different that it was bad timing, that he would love to be over his ex..

    She called it off with him about 8 months ago as there was family death and she couldnt cope with having a boyfriend after that. I realised after he said this that i really liked him and that i have never meet anyone like him even after a month as we got to know each other very well and got close. I said i would see him around and he said of course we will meet out, and he might even buy me a drink.

    I am just wondering has anyone got back with an ex boyfriend after he gets over an ex and was happy together again? If so, what made him get over his ex girlfriend?[/QUOTE
    ]

    Above is my story- update since then - I meet my ex-boyfriend out in a night club, he saw me and came flying over to me and hugged me and we ended up kissing which I was shocked about as I didn't think he would go there especially since he said before that he was not over his ex-girlfriend and wasn't ready for a serious relationship. He asked me if I wanted to leave the night club so we did and we went back to my place.

    He told me that he didn't get back with his ex that he had'nt seen her since they broke up that she ignored him after it finished he said he didn't lie to me about anything. He said I looked very well and that he missed me and that we "got on like a house on fire" he stayed the night and I dropped him to his friends house next morning and he gave me a kiss and said he would text me. I text him but the text didn't get to him until late as I got a report to say it was delivered. He told me earlier that night that his battery wasn't working right and he was going to a match that day so probably the charge was gone. But he hasn't text me only for my texts which he replied to.

    I think he is scared of getting hurt again I know he likes me I don't know if I should text him and ask what is happing between us? Please help
    HaRLoS's Avatar
    HaRLoS Posts: 86, Reputation: 8
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    #15

    Sep 21, 2007, 07:29 AM
    He really just seems to need some time to himself. Try not texting him or anything for a couple days, see if he sends you one. Just tell him that you need to talk to him, tell him your really confused about the two of you and you need to know if anything is going to happen. When anyone is trying to get over an ex, they tend to sometimes to things without thinking, and they end up hurting a lot of people, like you in this case. Its just his way with getting over his ex, you were there to talk to him and you two grew feelings and he is afraid of falling in love again.

    If he isn't textin you on his own without you texting him first, than maybe he decided he doesn't want to start a relationship with you?

    So my advice is, don't text him, if he doesn't send you one after lets say a week, than you need to move on. Its rude of him to keep you waiting like that.

    I'm not saying he is a bad person, I'm just saying what some people do when they are trying to get over an ex. He may have started with you because it kind of fills a hole in his heart? I am not sure about it.. but that was my first instinct, good luck
    Sdjosh's Avatar
    Sdjosh Posts: 215, Reputation: 41
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    #16

    Sep 21, 2007, 11:25 AM
    He just needs a little more time.

    Take it slow with him. Allow him the time he needs to heal and at the same time be there for him when he needs you. The less pressure you put on him the better. Keep your expectations low and don't smother him with phone calls or text messages. Keep the conversation casual... no relationship talks or stressful subjects.

    By doing these things you are creating an environment that is comfortable for him. He will be more open with you... he will see someone that is allowing him to heal...
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #17

    Sep 21, 2007, 11:40 AM
    Keep in mind he already told you he does not want anything serious. The ex may have been the excuse but he hasn't said anything to the effect of him being ready for a commitment. You let your guard down without fully knowing what's going on with him. Nowhere in anything he said to you related to a) getting back together b) being committed to you c) being full available to re-establish a relationship.

    Sex does not equal a re-established relationship especially to a guy. It may not be what you want to hear but its just my opinion.

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