I recently broke up with my ex and this was because he said that he does not want to settle down or commit to anyone. I want a relationship with him again and he doesn't want to because the problems we had in our relationship were down to lack of effort at times, loves his friends too much and he hates answering to anyone.

I have done something, and have made out I want fun also, my plan is to act unattached to him, but my overall objective is to get him back properly and get him to overcome his fears. He has reponded to my 'I want to enjoy' myself signals. But is this is a mistake as a plan? I'm trying to be clever and get what I want. Im trying hard to be distant and am prepared for the worst in case it backfires and therefore am going to keep my options open. I do really want this to work... how can I go about this and get him to change his ideas and change him from wanting just fun with me? I am not looking to offer myself on a plate by taking this step as there are boundries which he obviously doesn't know. I want the communication and didn't know how else to go about this because he said he is not friends with his exes!

Please help!