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quiteunsure · Jan 3, 2009, 07:00 PM

Hey there, broke up almost 11 months ago, about 3 months NC, she did breaking, but still OK terms. ANyhow its her birthday coming up and little unsure. Send text or do nothing, she's in relationship I think.. I just trying to be mature about it. Obviously still care about her, but don't want to give wrong message.. This isn't stem to open up communication with her, and I realize if she with someone else he can wish her happy birthday. But would prefer to be friends down the liine I think, maybe other people who have been through this can give some advice (especially women). We share friend circles and so would it seem that I am being a jerk on purpose or even make me look weaker, like I'm totally not over her (which is not true) if I don't give a short "Happy Bday"..
Thanks.

talaniman · Jan 3, 2009, 07:03 PM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=3558967
Leave it alone, and don't make it a bigger deal than what it needs to be.

Mikeym · Jan 3, 2009, 07:32 PM

Get a friend to say it to her, and that you couldn't yourself as you were busy

Therefore you can't luck weak, but also come out looking nice :)

ZoeMarie · Jan 3, 2009, 07:51 PM

I wouldn't even worry about it. She's your ex. She doesn't expect you to tell her happy birthday

itried · Jan 3, 2009, 10:21 PM

If you have had a birthday since you broke up and she wished you a happy birthday then you could do the same if you like. If not, then just forget about her, since she has forgotten about you.

marcel_ke · Jan 4, 2009, 12:03 AM

In respect of the relation you guys had, a " happy bday" is welcomed. But nothing more.u don't want to find reasons or excuse yourself

expat2009 · Jan 4, 2009, 12:31 AM

I wouldn't send her anything. It will only stir up your emotions -whether she replies or not-- It's all about you now. You are not being selfish or a bad person by not wishing her anything, Just be cool, treat it as any other day, After a few days you'll get over it.

compsavvyimnot · Jan 4, 2009, 12:49 AM

How long did your relationship last? If you've spent 2 years or more together, than send her a simple text, "Hope you Have a Great One". If it's been 5 or more, call to wish her a Happy Birthday, keep it simple, like the text, only by voice.
A year or less together, forget it.
If your birthday has come and gone without her acknowledgement than f**k that.

kctiger · Jan 4, 2009, 08:14 AM

I would not say anything. I don't think she cares either. Like others have said, you are priority one now, and after three months of NC, it might just be more painful for you to re-open the lines of communication, especially if she doesn't reply. It serves no purpose for you to do this, no matter how much of a nice gesture you wish it to be.