Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago after a year long relationship. He was my first love and older than me. He broke up with me the first time then took it back immediately after. The second time he broke up with me it was permanent. I was devastated and he was emotional too. He tried to remain friendly (not in a saving you for a booty call way) by trying to ask how I was, etc. Recently when I started not responding/responding politely and short he started contacting me even more.

I hung out one night with his good friend. Things happened and he found out. He went over to his friends house and threatened him in a really violent confrontation then called me and was not angry or mean to me at all. He asked me why I did what I did but mostly just wanted to try and... You know. I resisted it until it became a bad situation and left. He wrote me a page long email apologizing for what he did. I am hurt and angry but I don't know what I should say. I don't want to respond but I'm scared that he'll think that's letting him off the hook. WHAT SHOULD I DO.

You leave this jealous fellow alone because even though he has dumped you he sees you as his possession, and will behave badly. That's why he calls more now that he dumped you to keep him on your mind in case he wants to come back.

When his bad behavior didn't work, he changed tactics to sweet talk you through apology.

Don't fall for that, heal and move on to better things and worry not about him, or what he wants.

This doesn't make sense to me.

You broke up, permanently as you said.

You slept with (?) a friend of his after two months of being broken up, and your ex want out the roof. Then your ex sends you an apology- I presume for confronting his friend, and now you are still in contact with your ex. You're wondering how to respond to his letter, and not sure you want to "let him off the hook".

I don't know what you are thinking, but a relationship is a relationship. Not a half-relationship, not a relationship when it's convenient, not an on-again, off again relationship, not anything other than OVER.

I don't know what you want. Do you want him back? Why does he think he needs to apologize, and what has that got to do with anything anyway- you broke up!

I think you are sending this guy mixed signals. You probably slept with his friend, to get at him. You started this whole mess by wanting to remain in contact. You've got him right where you want him, with HIM apologizing to YOU for his bad behaviour.

Playing people is a really mean thing to do. Let him go, get used to being single, stop the games, and find somebody new.

He's clearly still got feelings for you. I don't actually understand why he broke up with you in the first place, but I can understand that there's unwritten rule that says that friends shouldn't make a play for their friends ex's. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but then emotions are logical anyway!

When you didn't respond to his messages and started sending more, that is a clear signal that he really wanted to try and get back together with you. It's a simple rule that when you have attraction built, by chasing them you push them away. By not replying for a day or two, you increase their interest. Evidently this happened here, and even though he didn't tell you about it, was very upset that you went off with his friend because what he really wanted was for the two of you to get back together again. This won't happen now as he won't be able to handle the fact that you've been intimate with someone he knows well. If this had been a stranger he could let it go, but not a friend.

So to answer your question 'what should I do?'.. the answer is 'nothing!'.. you didn't do anything wrong. You weren't with him. This isn't cheating. He ought to have been more honest with you. It would be helpful to him to be friendly on an irregular basis, but this isn't actually your responsibility. It's his issue and he needs to work through it somehow.

For sure if this ex found out that things happened, and you didn't tell him, then his friend did.

Stay out of this drama, and leave both of these competing friends alone. Playing games will get you played.

Exs are exs. Period.

In the past. Leave him be.

If he really wanted you, then you would be with him.

Don't allow him to use you anymore.

Don't ever respond to him. He has other motives.

What do you do? Erase the email and change it. Cut complete ties with this guy, there is nothing good that can come from him. You have been warned.