I will try to make this as short and simple as possible.
My boyfriend and I had been living together/dating for the past 8 months and had had an ongoing flirtation/hook up relationship for several years on and off. He is everything I could ever want in a man and in a husband. He is so kind and sweet. Unfortunately he is about to graduate from medical school in a few weeks and I have 2 years left of law school in the city we live in. He plans to move a few hours away. We agreed up until the break up that we would try to stay together and I was very happy about this.

Recently, I got far too intoxicated at a friends birthday party and I ended up very ill at our apartment. While I was sick and sleeping he went through my phone and read everything in it. During the day, my friend had texted one of my boyfriends friends from my phone (she always believed that me and the friend were destined to be together, etc) and I was so intoxicated I might have done some of the typing myself. I hadn't had his number previous to this day and nothing I said was incriminating just flirtatious. He also read conversations between me and a boy-crazy girlfriend. We often joke about we stalked our old ex boyfriends, and about boys who have crushes on me now. In our conversation I talk about a few other guys and being flattered that they had given me attention/talk about my ex. These conversations were meaningless and literally just a way to relate and be silly with my single girlfriends. Some of the stuff was things like "Oh my god he (another guy who Id met a few times AND told my boyfriend about) messaged me! Im freaking out" or "lets get a mole in our exes lives and get top intel" or "I want to run into my ex looking absolutely stunning, just to get the last laugh"

Obviously this stuff was harsh to read and really hurtful to him but with texting you can't tell a humorous context. Honest to God, I have never cheated on my boyfriend. I have never even hung out with another guy! And when my ex calls me or tries to see me, I ignore him! Any behavior of mine that seems like I'm being unloyal is just because I am flirtatious. My actions have never gone beyond flirtation and soliciting attention for a few minutes. We sleep together every single night and spend most of our time together- he would know if I had a thing with anyone else is my point.

I know this is wrong. I wish I hadn't said these things. My boyfriend told me he saw them and I explained to the best of my ability that I love him and am so sorry for anything he saw- that he genuinely has nothing to worry about and that I only care for him (thats the truth). We made up, had sex, and were fine. He came home later that day and mentioned breaking up when he graduates. I was very confused because we had agreed we'd try and make it work after he moved. He started crying and hugging me and holding me. I started crying and asked him if he just wanted to now and he repeatedly said no. Then I could tell something was off. I wiped my tears and asked "look are you bringing this up now because you think we should break up right now?"

He said Yes. I am completely devastated. When I went over to get my stuff a few days ago, he wrote me a long, kind letter about the history of our relationship, that he loves and cares for me, and that he can't do a long distance relationship. He says that he hopes I won't cut him out of my life completely forever and that he wishes me the best.

It has been several days since we ended and I feel terrible. Any time I initiated contact after this and asked why or wondered why he wasn't willing to fight for our relationship, etc. he answered with the graduation problem/he can't give me what I need when he's far away/he doesn't want a long distance relationship but thinks I'm an amazing person and wishes me well. A friend of his told me that my boyfriend broke up because of the stuff he found on my phone though... I think this is so sudden and strange.
What do you guys think I should do? Abandon hope and deal with the fact that this is the end? Do you think he will come around (I believe his friends and family are encouraging him to stay away from me)? Should I try to continue to talk to him even though he's fairly firm and very polite and kind that we should stop talking. He is saying things like "enjoy your last few years of school, I love you too. Thank you for this"

People have told me he is having a hard time but he hasn't even contacted me once and seems so peaceful with it all. I am so hurt, self-hating, lonely, and devastated. What do I do? What's going through his mind? Will he regret this impulsive decision? Thank you so much for reading

PS the relationship was very serious. We brought each other into our lives in major ways. He adored me and I adored him. I am insecure and sometimes like male attention but I have never sought out any kind of side relationship with anyone and I have no desire to.

Don't let him punish you as he has probably been giving this a lot of thought, and was waiting for the best(?) time to confront you with his future plans. Its ging to be hard, and will take time, but you let him go. You are probably in shock now, but see what happens in a few weeks after the dust has settled.

Let your girl friends support you and give you a shoulder to cry on. Sorry for your loss.

I think that you're probably right. I guess the main thing is that if he really loved me (like he claims he does in his letter after we broke up), he would move mountains for the relationship. I was willing. He was not. Thanks

He may be thinking it is best to end it now because he will likely be wondering what could possibly be going on when you are apart given your flirtatious nature and what he saw, and that would just drive him crazy. A long distance relationship especially is not likely to go well if trust is a concern.

As was said, take some time and see what happens.

I ran into him tonight as we are in the same social circle. We locked eyes and my jaw dropped and I literally just turned around because I knew I would start crying. He did not try to speak to me, he did not call or text me. He left with one of my good girlfriends and some other friends who I thought I trusted. I am devastated. But at least I know it is over for good. I will no longer go out for fear I will run into him.