Check out some similar questions!

Sammie66 · Aug 23, 2008, 05:49 AM

She doesn't want to see me at all unfortunately. I'm a psycho in her eyes.

I broke up with my first girlfriend a couple of times because I started overthinking negatively and did the same this time. I'm a perfectionist and it's ruining me. I know nobody is perfect. My ex came close, and this girl was lovely as well.

I need to meet someone who likes me and just make sure I snap myself out of the negative thoughts. I know I'm totally to blame for everything that's gone on.

talaniman · Aug 23, 2008, 06:05 AM

Do you need meds, or something, as you sure jump in the funk fast. One thing for sure, you'll never have healthy relationships until your healthy, and why are you so focused on a female, rather than having a great life without them?

From here, it seems like all you do is sit and abuse yourself, so my question is what else do you do with your time??

Ithappenstoall · Aug 23, 2008, 11:04 AM

I agree, just have fun and do not overthink it, trust me. Go without expectations and just enjoy the moment and the company. I know with my ex I never thought I would be with her for this long, in fact the first time we went out for diner, it was casul for me. Tak eeverything that way, it will be great I guarantee it.

Sammie66 · Aug 24, 2008, 06:20 AM

Yeah, I overthink EVERYTHING and I'm really hard on myself.

I do have a good life - a group of good friends and good hobbies. I'm actually really busy, but it's the quiet moments when I get down. I really miss my ex. I totally loved her, but I can't do anything about it now.

I'm just trying to find someone else and I'm learning all the time. I was stupid to rush in with the girl I dated last week. We got on so well that it felt really easy, but I just got into a panic and freaked her out. She probably thinks I'm always like that.

A girl gave me her number in a club last night. I texted her today, but I won't rush it at all.

My ex has rushed into something with her workmate, but he obviously likes the attention, so it's working for them.

Ithappenstoall · Aug 25, 2008, 10:01 AM

Why are you comparing this all the time to your ex, stop!! So she rushed in it let her, let her make her mistakes now, I know she will see it everntually. If there is one thing you have to is not compare, everyone reacts differently to a break up and this is unfortunetely her way. You will find someone else, but you need to be yourself again and it will happen in you own time.

Sammie66 · Aug 25, 2008, 10:09 AM

Overthinking again, that's why :-)

I have a potential 2 dates this week. I hope I get on as well with them as I did with last weeks date. This time I won't mess up though! My brother came out with a good line though - she told me stuff that made me paranoid so she dumped her problems on me as much as I maybe did on her.

Sammie66 · Aug 26, 2008, 12:12 AM

1st date didn't go great...

Nice girl, but no spark at all.

Sammie66 · Aug 27, 2008, 09:22 AM

Sigh. Bit bored of it all now.

Ithappenstoall · Aug 27, 2008, 10:30 AM

Good... a sign of progress. Getting tired of talking about this is a good step

Sammie66 · Aug 27, 2008, 02:43 PM

I got chatting to a girl on msn from the dating website and I think I scared her off straight away by talking about my previous dates.

I'm too honest for my own good sometimes.

Ithappenstoall · Aug 27, 2008, 10:32 PM

Let the past be the past but focus now on the present. You can casually mention something about your ex or past dates if she mentions something but do not make that the focus of your conversation, it will be akward. Another thing to remember is that they way you describe your past relationship and your ex girlfriend says a lot about you, it is like going for a job interview where you have to talk about your previous boss, I am sure they will not think of hiring you if you keep on dissing and mbad mouthing your ex boss. This is the same. But overall I would just really stay away from this topic in the futur

Sammie66 · Aug 27, 2008, 11:45 PM

Yeah, noted! She did ask, but I just told her too much. It's because I'm quite an open person - I don't hide anything. And it still stirs up fellings I guess.

One of my friends was telling me to just learn to bite my tongue sometimes.

Ithappenstoall · Aug 28, 2008, 02:46 AM

Sharing is good, but depending on who the listener is, if it someone new who you are possibly looking at dating, it is good to keep things short. If it is your close friend, then no problem.

Sammie66 · Aug 28, 2008, 11:01 AM

I don't know why, but I've really missed my ex the last couple of days. It's weird because I've not been thinking about her recently.

Sammie66 · Aug 29, 2008, 09:52 AM

I really need to wise up. Went out drinking last night and had to leave work at lunchtime because I was too ill to work. I've been going out drinking a lot and keeping myself ultra busy so I don't think about things. It's catching up to me though.

No more drinking.

Ithappenstoall · Aug 30, 2008, 12:14 AM

Alcohol is not the solution, be careful as to how much you drink. It is good that you realize your mistakes as you do them and take action. That is actually fantastic. You can do anything in moderation.
Now regarding you missing her, you will always have days when something will remind you of her or some less then cheerful ldays , when these days come just quickly get yourself busy and take the images out of your head. I honeslty think if you start to remmeber and start to think too much into the past it will make your day miserable, so as soon as you get feelings about her just distract yourself and move on. Do not over analyse anything.

Sammie66 · Aug 30, 2008, 01:28 AM

You're right. I'm trying to do that as much as I can.

Ithappenstoall · Aug 30, 2008, 01:39 AM

Good, and remember that you are not alone going through this, people have been there and are happier and better with lives now, that will happen soon enough for you.
You and I have been almost in the same situtation a days or weeks apart and from what I can tell you have mae a lot of improvements, I know I have and when those days come where you feel down always remember that she is the one that is missing out not being with you, not the other way around and that you are better of now.

Sammie66 · Aug 31, 2008, 11:54 AM

I was at a wedding dance at the weekend and it brought back lots of memories from the last dance we were at. I was really upset because they were such happy memories and I was all alone at this dance, but I've snapped out of it. I feel a lot calmer than I've been for a while tonight. Although I still hate myself for breaking up with her and getting back with her.

I've been so up and down and desperate to get out and not be alone, but today I've been OK so hopefully this is me turning a new leaf.

Sammie66 · Aug 31, 2008, 01:20 PM

It still gets to me how it happened. One minute she was speaking about the future with me, the next she's in love with someone else and has "given up" on me. I'm really confused about where my life is going at the moment.