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    tinanalynn's Avatar
    tinanalynn Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 30, 2007, 02:47 AM
    Drugs in the relationship
    How do you ask your boyfriend to stop doing drugs but not lose him in the process? Because I really love him and I worry about him, but I don't want to lose him. I've asked him to stop, but he just makes up jokes and excusses so please help
    mckenzie134's Avatar
    mckenzie134 Posts: 647, Reputation: 67
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    #2

    Jul 30, 2007, 03:01 AM
    I wouldn't ask him to stop but I would ask him to leave...

    Drugs in a relationship you are not obviously thinking of a future with this guyare you cause if you are your in for one crap life...
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #3

    Jul 30, 2007, 07:45 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by tinanalynn
    how do you ask your bf to stop doing drugs but not lose him in the process? because i really love him and i worry about him, but i dont want to lose him. ive asked him to stop, but he just makes up jokes and excusses so please help
    Well to me the relationship is already on rocky grounds so you need to ask him do you love drugs or me more. If he picks you hold him to it and make him stop. If he picks drugs then leave him now before more problems come your way. If you don't take the direction for your life because he doesn't stop doing drugs it's not his fault that your life will wind up in chaos.
    Foxy459459's Avatar
    Foxy459459 Posts: 368, Reputation: 36
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    #4

    Jul 30, 2007, 07:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by tinanalynn
    how do you ask your bf to stop doing drugs but not lose him in the process? because i really love him and i worry about him, but i dont want to lose him. ive asked him to stop, but he just makes up jokes and excusses so please help
    This is a very hard thing, I dated someone that was heavly addictid to drugs, and it really sucks. Sometimes depending on the person it doesn't matter how much they love you, sometimes they just can't stop doing drugs. I don't know what kind of drugs your boyfriend is doing. But if you think he has a problem with them. The only way your going to get them to stop is if he thinks he has a problem. In my situation he would tell me he would stop, but he never actually did. He became very sneaky and it just esculated from there. Its very hard when your feeling are involved believe me I know from personal experence. Do yourself a favor walk away and see if he follows...
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #5

    Jul 30, 2007, 07:56 AM
    The truth is in this situation you have to love yourself more then you love him. Do you want to watch someone self destruct? If he won't quit drugs then you have to leave. You clearly don't want drugs in your life so why would you want a drug addict?
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #6

    Jul 30, 2007, 08:04 AM
    I agree with GlindaofOz,
    Self love please!
    Stay away from someone who is self destructed. You only live once!
    How many times that people have to been told what is wrong to do!
    Doing drugs is wrong, and I am sure most people know that as a fact, why they keep doing it?
    So sick!!
    self_lnflicted_hell's Avatar
    self_lnflicted_hell Posts: 106, Reputation: 9
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    #7

    Jul 30, 2007, 08:08 AM
    There comes a time in everyone's life when they grow up and start thinking about everyone else for a change instead of themselves. Obviously he hasn't reached that point yet. Asking him to completely stop though is not going to work. Asking him to cut down in respect to you is a better option. If he won't then you know what's more important... Then you should know what to do.
    klovesj110603's Avatar
    klovesj110603 Posts: 58, Reputation: 3
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    #8

    Jul 30, 2007, 08:29 AM
    Everyone above has really good points and I hope you take something from them all. When I was a child I discovered my mom was on meth. It has been 15 years and two trips to the pen later and she still does it. No matter how much you beg a person they won't change unless THEY want to. If u really want him to get over his drugs it will be a long prosess. He will probably have to go to a rehab and maybe more than once. A lot of drug users relapse and need to be treated more than once. Don't put a gult trip on him and tell him to stop for u.. it don't work and I tried that with my own mother... Tell him to do it for himself. Good luck hope he can recover
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #9

    Jul 30, 2007, 09:21 AM
    When my ex and I first started dating I would drink a lot with my friends. She wanted to break up with me because of this, we were only dating for about 5 months but my dad asked me what more important beer or her. I choose her. I would sit him down tell how you feel, if he doesn't choose you I guess you're not that important to him. Plus I believe if a person really wants to stop they can. If they don't your just asking for trouble and problems.
    lilred40's Avatar
    lilred40 Posts: 35, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Nov 28, 2007, 02:58 PM
    Lets look into your future with your boyfriend. What do you see? No money for food or rent, baby is witout diapers/formula/etc... DEFACS (dept. of family and children services) coming in and taking the child/children out of the home and proving you both unfit parents... you working to support his "habits"... do you see where I'm going with this? There are too many good men out there to settle for someone that will not give up drugs.

    Sorry for being so blunt with you! :)
    whateverz's Avatar
    whateverz Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #11

    Nov 28, 2007, 03:42 PM
    I am in a relationship with a man out of rehab. They have to admit to there problem and want to go unless some other intervention happens i.e. - telling there family. It is had situation and they most likely will not quit from you telling them they have to do it on their own.
    trouble geting a date's Avatar
    trouble geting a date Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Nov 28, 2007, 04:57 PM
    Girl you if you think about being with this guy you have no clue what your getting yourself into. You can't be with him. If he needs his drugs more then you then just forget about him. You can find some one way better then that trust me.
    Foxy459459's Avatar
    Foxy459459 Posts: 368, Reputation: 36
    Full Member
     
    #13

    Nov 29, 2007, 07:20 AM
    How long have you guys been together? The hardest thing is, you can't make someone change, they have to do it on there own, or there never going to do it. They have to do it for themselves or they will go right back to doing it.

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