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    nene1003's Avatar
    nene1003 Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 18, 2007, 04:09 PM
    On drugs 24/7!
    :confused: :confused: My boyfriend of 5 years has had a serious drug problem on and off for the last 3 years. He is advancing from one drug to another and I don't think it could get much worse. Surprisingly he has kept his job but we are growing further & further apart. He is 27 years old. Every single day he is on drugs and we hardly talk and barely see each other cause I refuse to be with him when he is on drugs. He refuses help and whenever I cry or beg him to get help he tells me he will stop soon and for me to please be patient with him. How long should I put my life on hold?? Should I leave him??
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Nov 18, 2007, 04:19 PM
    Quit putting your life on hold. You cannot cry, beg, or plead this guy into rehab. Nothing you can do will make him give up the addiction. He is the one who needs to see he needs to get clean and stay that way.

    You can tell him you love him but you not love the drugs and you do not love what happens to him when he is using. You can also tell him that you are not sticking around any longer. Why put yourself through all that pain? That makes you sick inside. By staying with him, you do no good for yourself.

    I would say to get into some counseling - find out about enabling and how it matches what you do for him. Discover how to become healthy for your own mental and emotional well being.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Nov 18, 2007, 06:56 PM
    I totally agree with Shy , don't put your life on hold for someone who seems to not even care about your feelings. If he keeps saying he will stop soon tell him to contact you then when he has. But if he takes too long you may have moved on. I wish you well.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,305, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #4

    Nov 18, 2007, 07:00 PM
    You have put it on hold too long already, move on,
    ariessun1968's Avatar
    ariessun1968 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 18, 2007, 09:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nene1003
    :confused: :confused: My boyfriend of 5 years has had a serious drug problem on and off for the last 3 years. He is advancing from one drug to another and i dont think it could get much worse. Surprisingly he has kept his job but we are growing further & further apart. He is 27 years old. Every single day he is on drugs and we hardly talk and barely see eachother cause I refuse to be with him when he is on drugs. He refuses help and whenever I cry or beg him to get help he tells me he will stop soon and for me to please be patient with him. How long should I put my life on hold?????? Should I leave him???????????
    HI, I am so sorry that you are going through this. My younger brother, he was 35 y/o when he died of a massive system shutdown in Egypt on December 26th, 2 years ago, was addicted to heroine and cocaine. It started years prior. I went though everything with him, rehab, taking him to rehab, reovery groups, picking him late at night, stolen wallets, him stealing my cars and giving them to drug dealers. My brother was a wonderful person, he never met a stranger... he was smart, intelligent, and would make you feel like you were the most important person in the world. But, he was an addict. I felt very guilty after he passed. I thought, "if only I had done more", but there's not more you can do. Your boyfriend, my brother and every other addict out there.. has to make the decision to stop. They have to want to stop. You can be there for him when he does decide... you can not make him feel like a failure when he does try, and doesn't succees the first time. It takes many times. You have to be firm, however, and let him know that there is no relationship with you, while he is on drugs. It will not be an overnite change, but it is possible. My brother was clean for 1 year until he moved over seas and got into stronger addictions. We thought he was fine, he wasn't. Tell your boyfriend, that I remember getting the phone call at 2:00 a.m. from the US Embassy in Egypt, asking me if I had a brother. They had identified him by his passport. It is a very hard thing to go through. We had to meet the casket at the airport to claim his body. My brother left a host of friends in every country, colleagues that respected him, family that loved him and especially a niece that adored him. He had just gotten a job to be a consultant to the Olympic Games in Qatar. Drugs destoy good people. Tell your boyfriend, its not worth it. Life is, can be, should be wonderful. Best of Luck and you are both in my prayers.
    slrrn101's Avatar
    slrrn101 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Aug 23, 2008, 11:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nene1003
    :confused: :confused: My boyfriend of 5 years has had a serious drug problem on and off for the last 3 years. He is advancing from one drug to another and i dont think it could get much worse. Surprisingly he has kept his job but we are growing further & further apart. He is 27 years old. Every single day he is on drugs and we hardly talk and barely see eachother cause I refuse to be with him when he is on drugs. He refuses help and whenever I cry or beg him to get help he tells me he will stop soon and for me to please be patient with him. How long should I put my life on hold?????? Should I leave him???????????
    I know you say you love him but he loves the drugs so he is unable to love you. Everyone on this earth deserves better. GET OUT NOW! Before he does something that will ruin hyour life. I am not saying he will hurt you but the lifestyle is so violent you never know who he will be with and you can bet they all carry guns! And they will kill anyone who thinks they know too much! Please leave. There is someone nout there for you who will love you the proper way.
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
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    #7

    Aug 24, 2008, 12:24 AM
    You need to have an intervention.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,282, Reputation: 10853
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    #8

    Aug 25, 2008, 06:08 AM
    How long should I put my life on hold??????
    Not another second!!!
    Should I leave him???????????
    Yes, you should as you can't help him. He must want to help himself.

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