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SirJax · Jun 20, 2007, 01:39 PM

This is confusing to me, I had a 5 year relationship then I was asked to interview in another city I could only find part time work at the time in the city where we resided, and I wanted to talk about it with her. When I told her about it she became angry and hung up the phone on me, our relationship went down hill and she broke up with me a few months later. I had taken the job at that point. We continued for 2 years now to communicate via email only, I have not seen her during that period or spoken a word to her. I still love her very much she always says she loves me at the end of her email. I am thinking she only wants to be friends with the love you statement. You know like you tell anyone casually love you, it is hurtful to continue to get emails, and she will not tell me her intentions and leaves me to read between the lines. I think I should just give up on it what do you think?

Sdjosh · Jun 20, 2007, 01:50 PM

Hmm... I don't know how you could do this. Love someone for 2 years and still talk to them and not see them. That would be torture.

Well... from what I have read... you still love her and you guys continue to email. She still says she loves you and asks you to read between the lines. Sounds like she doesn't want to get hurt and doesn't want to put her feelings out there.

I guess there is 2 things you could do.

1. Tell her that its hard to stay in contact because you still love her and you want to move on with your life.

Or

2. Tell her that you still love her and want to find a way to work it out. This one is a long shot.

You both have been on your own for 2 years. You have had email contact only and I'm sure many things have changed. But that could be a good thing. You both could be in a better place now in your lives. 2 years may have given enough time to let any resentment, anger, or problems be forgiven. What's the worst she could tell you... No... oh well you weren't with her anyway.

Just be prepared mentally if you do option 2. You don't want to hinder any progress that you have made on your own.

If you do option 2 and it works out... fine. If option 2 doesn't work... use option 1.

My .02 cents

Kattalover · Jun 20, 2007, 01:50 PM

Unfortunately, the phrase "I love you" is used for anything and everybody in this country.

The only way to find out if she still has feelings for you or if "love you" is simply a friendly closing phrase is to ask her.

Dennis777 · Jun 20, 2007, 02:08 PM

Hello.

Talk is cheap, in other words she says she Loves you but does she show it. I think she wants to keep you on a string just in case she needs you but that's no way for you to live your life. Take the giant step and tell her in a nice way that you have waited for 2 years and are no longer to wait for her. If she wants you then she better come get you before you find the next Mrs. Right.

Good Luck
Dennis777

rankrank55 · Jun 20, 2007, 02:23 PM

Sounds like she is stringing you along to me! You need to CALL her and explain to her how confusing all of this is to you. It's not right to take advantage of someone's feelings and I think she is doing this, maybe not on purpose but it is probably comforting for her to know that she's got you where she wants you if she needs you. It is also odd to me that she didn't even take the time to digest the work situation thing and just became very angry with you about it. You need to talk with her about this because if she is not interested in having a romantic relationship with you then she needs to tell you so that you can move on and not worry about "maybe" getting back with her.

Sdjosh · Jun 20, 2007, 02:31 PM

I don't agree with you RANK... I don't think she is stringing him along. I thinks she still has feelings for him. They had a rather long relationship and she tries to stay in contact.

There is no need to bring up old Sh%t like the job. That is in the past and done with. It's not worth bringing it up as the situation is already dealt with.

Things will never be like the where. You can't go back. But you can however move forward. Either with or without her.

rankrank55 · Jun 20, 2007, 02:44 PM

Yes, you are right, she could still love him! It just sounds more like stringing along because she obviously has not hinted around about still loving him in the emails. I can relate to this situation because I was in a similar one not too long ago.

talaniman · Jun 20, 2007, 03:35 PM

Love doesn't wait for two years and email you often. Love doesn't get angry when you are trying to improve yourself. She can say the words, but what has her actions shown you?

momincali · Jun 20, 2007, 03:47 PM

Does she have a problem with rejection? I mean, who doesn't dislike rejection, but does she see everything, every "no" as a personal rejection? You taking that job could have just meant in her mind that this was your way out of the relationship and figured if she was going to lose you, she wanted to do it her way to minimize the pain, if that's possible. That's really neither here nor there. I think she may have some feelings that are unresolved towards you, I'm not sure it's love, but it's something. Find out. Call and tell her you'd like to see her, invite her up to visit you and talk about it. If you were together for 5 years, there should be no subject you can't talk about, but enough with the superficial conversation, get to the meat and potatoes and move on either together or apart.