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    baaayley's Avatar
    baaayley Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 26, 2013, 07:43 PM
    Don't know where I stand
    There’s this guy, Chris, we work together and were best friends for 2 years. He had a girlfriend who always cheated on him. I was always there as a friend for him to talk to. I got in a relationship myself and fell pregnant only for the guy to leave me and me and this guy Chris stopped talking for a bit. I eventually had the baby and went back to work, only to find he was all over me and stuff. He was still with his girlfriend, but wanted to be with me, he eventually ended this 4year long relationship and we started things up. He’s still in love with his ex, and I do know and understand this. I’m really head over heels for this guy, but he’s decided that us being 'together' with the whole sex and intimacy and emotions is too hard, and it just leaves him hurt. He wants to go back to being friends. How is that possible, what do I do? :/ I can’t be friends with someone I’m in love with. What do I do?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Mar 26, 2013, 07:56 PM
    So sorry your romances didn't work, but for now you have to tell Chris that he needs to leave you alone and heal, and maybe someday you can be friends. That allows you time to realize that maybe you both jumped into something to fast, and maybe he is not in love the way you are.

    Do you still work together? That makes it harder, and healing will take longer, but focus on your child and not him.
    fredg's Avatar
    fredg Posts: 4,926, Reputation: 674
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    #3

    Mar 26, 2013, 10:20 PM
    I couldn't just be friends with someone I am in love with either. I am 71 yrs old, divorced first 7 years of marriage, then re-married for 30 yrs, now a widower. It wouldn't work for me.
    I would be honest with him, and simply tell him to leave me alone, or something similar. If you have to work together, it will be harder to ignore him. But, don't try to help him in any way, unless it's work. Good luck.
    smkanand's Avatar
    smkanand Posts: 602, Reputation: 56
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Mar 27, 2013, 04:22 AM
    I know what you mean. You can't be friends with someone you love. But I guess this guy is not sure about himself and you. I think your any future relationship will involve your baby. So you need a mature and responsible guy who has clear ideas. This guy is not the one. In such case, since he was your best friend in past, be the friends. And do not get close to him. You need to tell him that each relationship needs to set some boundaries. So if you are not close anymore, tell him not to expect anything from you.

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