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tlmandbjm_01 · Apr 4, 2008, 12:28 PM

[F]OK... me and my x boyfriend/fiance' started dating November 15, 2006, and it was a really good relationship. He even asked me to marry him on christmas of 07', and I said yes. Well everything seemed fine but in January he started acting really strange and he told me that he didn't want to be with me anymore, but the breakup didn't last very long and we got back together. That situation happened a few times actually, but then the last time we dated he told me he cheated on me with this girl he worked with. I was devastated, and I asked him why would he do something like that. He told me he wasn't in love with me anymore. I stopped talking to him for a few days and he started calling me. When I talked to him he told me he had sex with her. As bad I as wanted to say something I couldn't because we weren't together when they did, but it still hurt really bad. I'm still talking to him as a friend. We still have sex, he's not with her, but he still treats me like I'm his girlfriend. He's sending me mixed messages. He says he doesn't know why he can't stop having sex with me. I try to tell him that I feel used and like a doormat but I cant. I don't know what to do, or what he's doing.

thank you

COOKIE MONSTER · Apr 4, 2008, 01:27 PM

Well he's just getting afree ride I'm sorry to be so blunt but your daft your letting him use you like adoor mat,you need to get you act together and stop him treating you like this
Or he will keep doing it.you need to start
NO CONTACT,NO TEXIS,NO EMAILS,NO CALLING HIM,Don't AWNSER HIS CALLS,TEXIS,EMAILS AND Don't OPEN THE DOOR TO HIM

He's getting what he wants from you and your letting him that's the worse part

nickshehe · Apr 4, 2008, 01:40 PM

To put it simply, get rid of him - you feel like his doormat because you are his doormat. He's gone from wanting to marrying you to sleeping with other girls and using you for sex.
If you ask me you're lucky that you found out so soon that this guy is a creep.. imagine you married him. You deserve better than this.
Cut off contact with him indefinitely and start respecting and loving yourself.

canefan1012 · Apr 4, 2008, 04:27 PM

You need to move away from that. It's not right that the two of you aren't together and gets to have sex with you. That privilege is given to the person that loves and cares about you and treats you with respect and I don't believe he is doing that. This guy is doesn't deserve your company.

Alty · Apr 4, 2008, 05:27 PM

Reality Check,

Hey, this guy has it great. He isn't your boyfriend, has made absolutely no commitment to you and yet you're still having sex with him. How did he manage this? I can guarantee that all his buddies are high fiving him and telling him he's such a stud. He's got the best of both worlds.

You don't know what to do? Really? I think you do. Either get your head out of the sand, get this guy out of your life once and for all and move on, or keep being a doormat and let him walk all over you. The choice is yours, and yours alone. I hope you make the right decision before something happens that ties you to him forever (pregnancy) goodness knows he'll be gone so fast you won't even know he was ever there.

Good luck!

talaniman · Apr 4, 2008, 10:05 PM

Then the last time we dated he told me he cheated on me with this girl he worked with.

After all those break ups, and now this.

I was devastated, and I asked him why would he do something like that. He told me he wasn't in love with me anymore. I stopped talking to him for a few days and he started calling me.

That should have been the end of this mess right then and there, as his actions say he doesn't love you, as well as his words.

when I talked to him he told me he had sex with her.

DUHHHHH!

as bad I as wanted to say something I couldn't because we weren't together when they did, but it still hurt really bad.

Of course it did, and not expressing your feeling about this whole situation was a big mistake, on your part.

I'm still talking to him as a friend. We still have sex, he's not with her, but he still treats me like I'm his girlfriend. He's sending me mixed messages.

He isn't sending mixed signals at all, you are accepting his bad behavior, and rewarding him for cheating on you.

he says he doesn't know why he can't stop having sex with me.

Oh, come on, you do understand, you keep letting him have it free, and he takes it.

I try to tell him that I feel used and like a doormat but I cant. I don't know what to do, or what he's doing.

After telling him, you do nothing to back up your words, with actions. Its not so much what he is doing, it's about what your not doing. Kick him completely out of your life permanently, and heal yourself, and learn from this experience, then it won't matter to you, what he is doing, or why.