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Ok well I've been with this girl for almost 4 years. She decided to take break it off because in the last four years that she has been with me she had to push me to do things for myself such as attending college and taking care of important things. I'm not the most ambitious person in the world, per say. So we break it off casually over the phone in a nice way, no one gets angry. She tells me to go and date other people and I'm not ready to of course, but I've been dating her since she was 15. I have been her only serious relationship. She is now 19 and in college as am I. She told me that I need to get my life on track and that I should take this as an opportunity to meet others.
Well she calls up last night after 3 days of not talking to tell me that she wants to be single right now and that she probably wants to get back together eventually. She repeated that twice and told me that she felt like calling to tell me that so I wouldn't be as stressed and thinking about it all the time. I asked her if she minded that I dated other people and then she proceeded to ask "who are you thinking about dating". I then told her not to worry about it and she inquired again in a cute-like voice. I told her some girls from college, but no one in specific at this time and she said she had no one either. I then hung up and haven't talked to her since. She seems to be curious. I told her that I'm not just sitting here waiting for her. I still deeply love her and it's extremely hard not to call. I would like any suggestions about what to do. Am I doing the right thing by:

1. Letting her come back to me when she is ready?
2. Letting her know that I'm interested in other women
3. Trying to avoid calling her

And should I:

1. Go on dates with other people, just to see what else there is
2. Call her from time to time
3. Start to move on (I already have)
4. Answer when she calls (this is a tough one for me)

Basically she is the love of my life and I'm not sure if she is the one but it feels strong. This could be because she is the only serious relationship I've ever had. I'm a realist not an idealist as you can tell. This isn't one of those stupid posts where the guys have no idea at all wth they're doing. I am very down to earth and realize that she might not be back and I have already started moving on. Like I said I'm trying my hardest to just leave her alone even though I don't want to. She might just want space to date others or maybe she wants to get out there before she settles down with me forever. There are a lot of "what if" questions. These are of course typical. I'm just trying to handle myself in the best manner possible. Any response is greatly appreciated and thank you in advance!

Basically live your life the way you would without thinking about her. She very easily could have said she might want back just to leave the door open in case she can't find any one better.
Take one day at a time and if you want to see other girls see them. She isn't making any promises to you and she is the one that broke up with you. You don't owe her any guarantees either.
I don't think no contact is important in your case, at least not yet.

Date other people, don't call her at all and move on, don't answer when she calls

She reassured me that she was probably coming back. I understand that this isn't a true reassurance. We broke up on good terms and she never lies to me, so when she says serious stuff, it generally happens. I have a feeling that she will eventually come back, the only thing that will prevent her is meeting someone new. Anyhow thanks for the replies so far. I'm still moving on at this point

If you're holding out on even a glimmer of hope that she might come back, you aren't moving on at all. I hope you'll realize that she is just keeping you as a back up plan so she can go explore other options with her life.

I wish I could give a detailed bit of advice here, but the plain and simple fact is that you have to remove her from your life until you can talk to her without hoping for anything at all.

Best of luck.

~ Tee

1. Letting her come back to me when she is ready? Heck NO!
2. Letting her know that I'm interested in other women NO! Not her business.
3. Trying to avoid calling her Complete No Contact!!

And should I:

1. Go on dates with other people, just to see what else there is YES!!!
2. Call her from time to time NO!!!! No Contact!!!
3. Start to move on (I already have) YES!!
4. Answer when she calls (this is a tough one for me) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Go out and date other women. She is going to date other guys apparently. It might be a good idea to remain friends with her, it doesn't seem to be one of those heartbreak situations. In time you both might find yourselves coming back to each other or maybe staying as just friends. Taking this time to yourselves is probably a good thing before it got any more serious.
But one thing to add to this, if you find yourself getting jealous or bothered by her dating other people, avoid contact with her. Any frustration you give off could damage your chances of ever getting back together or having any kind of friendship.

She is still very interested in me. I believe that she needs space to figure out if she is going to stay with me the rest of her life. She might need to get out there and have other relationships that she has never had. I claimed her since she was 15 so it might be just that. I'm trying to stay sane and not call her. I have hope even though it's something that I know isn't recommended. I'll wait for her to call me probably

Believe what you want. Just don't be surprised when your heart gets broken even more.

You can have space and still be in a relationship. Ending a relationship doesn't create space. It ends the relationship. Period.

~ Tee

So I made the mistake that everyone makes. I called her and she was with her friend and 2 of that girl's guy friends and they were trying to find some alcohol. I talked to her about my mother's surgery today and how the cat that both of us got was hacking and bawling and she was sad about it. Then I told her that I was confused because she told me that she was pretty sure she'd want to come back and yet I'm supposed to hold onto hope and she said "well give up then if you'd like, it's not fair to you". I responded " well its hard to know what to do" and she said " I was just telling you my thoughts, I thought that I'd wanna come back but that's the point of us dating other people". So I didn't annoy her, I could tell from her tone of voice, but I initiated conversation which is a no no and I asked her relationship questions , which is a no no. So basically, I kind of ed myself over. I think that it is time to move on. I heard from a friend of mine today that he spoke with one of her friends and it's the same girl that she is out with right now with the two guys. Anyhow she said that the two of them were going to stay single for the summer. I asked her about that and she laughed and said oh we were kind of joking around and I asked if she was seriously going to do that and she said "idk, maybe". So now I have to give up and play the waiting game I guess, no idea what else to do besides start talking to other women. I probably pushed her away more, or maybe I didn't. Either way I guess it's time to give up, what does everyone think?

We already told you what we thought. You aren't listening. Once you decide to start healing, you will.

When you start doing all the things you are saying, maybe it will make a difference. But if you're as stubborn as most of us were, you'll have to make all the mistakes yourself before you learn from them.

Enjoy the heartache and learn from it. Best of luck.

~ Tee

You didn't push her anyway because she was already gone.

When someone tells you they want a break and go date other people--listen to them. Don't pay attention to the line "we might can get back together in the future" because it is just a line. And it bascially means "we can get back together if I don't find anyone better".

Time to cut the strings with this girl and set yourself free. Don't let her play games with you and don't hang around her just because your familiar with her.

People grow apart and since the two of you starting dating when the two of you were teenagers but now the two of you are adults--she wants to go out and explore and not miss a beat and date around.

Relationships comes with no guarantees and it is a gamble and only works if the two involved wants it to work. But the great thing about life is that you live and you learn. When something doesn't work out you pick yourself up and try again. There are plenty of other girls out there.

Focus on getting your life in order and have fun in the process.

Well first I would try to keep your mind off her. Second I would try to get another girl to see how it works. If the whole time you are with someone else you are thinking about her then go home and don't upset the girl you are with. Next once you are home do something constructive. Take her off your mind. Keep doing that for awhile. Then talk to other people and by all means don't talk to her until you are sure you can stop yourself from talking to her about your feelings. After you are comfortable with yourself date other people and stay friends with the girl. Then if things don't get better with you and her and things don't work out with other girls then finally ask the girl of your dreams back out

She's really not. My first big clue was that she is not going out with you. You said in the OP you were moving on, but part of you is stuck in neutral. Kick that part out of neutral and continue moving on.

It's very hard. This girl has so much going for her and I think she is the one. It's very hard to try and accept that maybe she doesn't feel the same about me as I feel about her. It's a process that I'm working on. Thank you so far everyone, this is a great place to get my emotions out, and everyone is helping, even if it is negative. Thank you

I'm not trying to be negative. But your not listenting to what was being said. After everybody told you to back away you called her. You need to focus on you right now. It is very hard to lose someone. It sucks and everybody understands that. That's her loss now. You are strong enough to reach out to seek the advice because you understand something isn't working. Now you have apply the advice for this to work.

Well thank you for the advice. I guess the best thing to do is to just really let things take their course. It's absolutely brutal to try and not think about her and what she is doing. I don't think it helps that she has a friend who is skanky that is trying to help her have a good time by meeting other people. Maybe it'll do some good for her and she'll realize what she has missed, or not. If what I heard from my friend is true, I have until the end of Summer until I'll hear from her again. I guess it's time to start moving on, even though its very hard :(

Update:

I'm trying my hardest to move on. This will be my second day of not talking to her since we broke up 5 days ago. Like I said she has told me not to stress and she'll probably want to come back, but I'm trying not to give it any false hope. I'm going to go completely NC and I don't have a cell so if she calls and I answer by accident so be it. She also still has a myspace, Facebook, and xanga full of pictures and quotes of me and comments. She hasn't deleted them yet, odd I suppose. Anyhow I'm going to survive through tonight and start the NC plan. I'm going until my anniversary in September. Any thoughts on why she didn't delete any of her photo albums of just my 21st birthday or comments that I wrote?

As unfortunate as it maybe, she just might not have got around to it yet, or she still harbours some feelings for you (on whatever level).
It would pretty mean for someone to actually go through photos & delete comments, and delete photos of happy memories.

I know that it's incredibly hard, but checking her facebook/myspace/xanga for even the slightest of alterations will only cause you even more pain and even more evil thoughts to enter your head, trust me.

It's not necessarily mean, some people find it easier to cope with a breakup if they remove constant reminders of the other person.

~ Tee