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    Does she still want to be with me?

    Asked Sep 23, 2012, 01:10 PM 20 Answers
    I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 7 months. It started great! She was texting me constantly, writing on my Facebook wall, an she always showed an expressed that she loved me an wanted to spend time together an saying how glad she was that she met me.

    The last couple of months though she has shown very little interest. Usually when I text her she won't text back for ages or she won't at all, if she does text back she just writes short, blunt texts as if she can never be bothered to talk to me and that she doesn't care about anything I have to say. Whenever I want to see her I always have to go over to her town at her place or her mates place cause she doesn't come to mine and hasn't for months. She said she wanted to start coming to mine again but often shows signs as if she doesn't want to. So I'm unsure.

    She pretty much never takes my calls anymore either, and when we're together and with her friends its like I don't even exist. She won't talk to me, sit by me or express herself towards me physically.

    However a few weeks ago she wanted a puppy an she convinced me to meet her an get it for us an before I arrived she was texting me and making sure I texted back, when we got there she was standing very close to me holding my hands like she used to. I thought perhaps she would start to warm to me again but since I bought us the puppy it was back to her distancing herself from me. So I don't know if she wants to be with me anymore. But she says she does.

    Although a lot of what she used to do has changed so I'm not sure cause she hasn't been completley honest with me staight away every time we talk about some things and she changes her mind about things sometimes to. I just want to know why she has been so distant lately. If there's any chance things can be like they were several months ago, and does anyone have any advice?

    Last edited by talaniman; Sep 23, 2012 at 02:42 PM.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 51,659, Reputation: 10726
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    #2

    Sep 23, 2012, 02:47 PM
    If you think she is taking you for granted, then sit and have a talk with her and resolve this. When honest communications doesn't work, and you still are not happy, then I would say its time to reconsider the status of this relationship.

    How old are you both, and how far away from each other are you?
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 25, 2012, 08:50 AM
    I'm 21 an she's 19. She lives like an hour away from me an transport isn't brilliant. We had a chat yesterday. Well it was in texts cause she's more comfortable over the phone. She said she doesn't want to be with me anymore. She just said that she doesn't have that 'in love' feeling anymore. We're on a break now until she tells me if she still feels this way after a few weeks. So we're not talking until then. I definatley want to be with her but she doesn't feel the same anymore. I don't know why.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 51,659, Reputation: 10726
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    #4

    Sep 25, 2012, 03:28 PM
    Doesn't matter why her feelings changed given the distance, all that matters is what you do about this being dumped. I think leaving her alone, and NOT waiting for her to change her mind, or see how she feels later, is the way to go.

    Just some insights on the why. A long distance texting, calling, email relationship will never replace the real thing in person dating and doing things together.
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    LadySam's Avatar
    LadySam Posts: 1,589, Reputation: 322
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    #5

    Sep 25, 2012, 04:25 PM
    What talaniman said, plus she was nice enough for long enough to get something that SHE wanted, that alone speaks volumes to me.
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Sep 25, 2012, 04:59 PM
    Ok I'll wait an see how she feels.I can't see myself raising a family, and spending the rest of my life with anyone else but her. I'm SO sure she's the one for me! But right now she doesn't want to be with me. We spoke about us having children. Not now obviously. But she wanted my children an I wanted to give them to her. I know I want all of that but if she still doesn't want to be with me after a few weeks then... We'll I'm not sure. I wouldn't know where to go from there. Obviously I'm not going to try an change her mind after that cause I have to respect her decision. But I'm so sure. I've never had a long term relationship before though. I'm really uncertain about most things.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 51,659, Reputation: 10726
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    #7

    Sep 25, 2012, 05:15 PM
    I understand being inexperienced and uncertain, but just don't do anything that compromises your dignity, or self respect after a 7 month long distance type thing.

    Talk of babies after 7 months?? Really??
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Sep 25, 2012, 05:23 PM
    Well yeah I've always wanted it an so has she. I know its quite soon but I know she's the who I want them with
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Sep 26, 2012, 12:15 PM
    Part of me thinks she's cheating on me. Her an her ex still have feelings for each other. She said if she never met me, she probably would get back with him. But not now she's been with me. She did kiss him a couple months ago but said it didn't mean anything an she felt guilty so she told me about it. But the past month or two she has partly been staying with her mum an dad an partly with her ex an since we've been on a break which started a couple days ago her ex wrote on her Facebook wall today an just put loads of smiley faces an a couple kisses.she then commented on it by writing 3 hearts. An then he wrote 3 hearts. Am I being paanoid? I want to trust her but things like that make it harder an harder. I don't know if I should say anything. Plus we're meant to be on a break 4 now but even so I need to know she's not lying to me about not wanting to be with her ex again. What should I do??
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    LadySam's Avatar
    LadySam Posts: 1,589, Reputation: 322
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    #10

    Sep 26, 2012, 04:22 PM
    Personally I think you should cut your losses and move on.
    She sounds, at the very least, confused and at the most keeping you on the sideline emotionally as a back up plan.
    Hard to say just which one.
    Take a deep breath and reread you original question, it is pretty telling in and of itself.
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    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,704, Reputation: 2581
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    #11

    Sep 26, 2012, 04:25 PM
    I think you need to get a clue.
    This girl is gone.
    It will be painful for a while, but write her off and walk away with your dignity.
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Sep 27, 2012, 03:53 AM
    There's a lot of things I've seen that's obvious she's getting back with her ex instead of telling me the truth. I noticed yesterday. I seen him say "I love u" on a post an when someone asked he said it was 4 katie(my girlfriend). An I saw comments on another post from katie about having babies an her sister said in a comment " katie, get brad on it" an katie said "hayley, brad needs no convincing! He pesters me every day 4 babies". I would go an talk to her in person but she'll only talk by texting me! She could easily just ignore me by phone though. I lent her a lot of cash. If I have proof in texts that she borrowed it from me, is there any chance of getting it back in case she chooses not to?
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Sep 27, 2012, 05:32 AM
    Yeah I was afraid of that. Didn't want her to be gone but I guess there's nothing I can do. Should I still confront her an then move on or just move on?
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    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,704, Reputation: 2581
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    #14

    Sep 27, 2012, 07:22 AM
    Stop looking at her post, stop keeping track of what she is doing. That will help.
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Sep 27, 2012, 09:49 AM
    Thanks for your help. I hope it will be OK
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 51,659, Reputation: 10726
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    #16

    Sep 27, 2012, 12:08 PM
    Forget the money, texts, Facebook or any more contact with anything to do with her. JUST MOVE ON!! Then it will be OKAY!
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Sep 27, 2012, 02:39 PM
    Well I really think she should know she can't treat people like that. No one should. It really hurts an it feels wrong that she won't know how bad this has hurt me. I don't have a lot of people to talk to about this so I'm a bit lost an don't know where ti go next. Thank you again
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    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,704, Reputation: 2581
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    #18

    Sep 27, 2012, 03:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by fergie91 View Post
    Well I really think she should know she can't treat people like that. No one should. It really hurts an it feels wrong that she won't know how bad this has hurt me. I don't have a lot of people to talk to about this so I'm a bit lost an dunno where ti go next. Thankyou again
    You go forward. It does not matter if she knows or not. Sounds like she would not care anyway.
    You just move on and be happy without her.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 51,659, Reputation: 10726
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    #19

    Sep 27, 2012, 04:21 PM
    Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Homegirl 50 again


    If she is of a good heart, she would know what she is doing hurts you. Obviously she does not so don't reward her with anymore of your time and efforts.
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    fergie91's Avatar
    fergie91 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Nov 13, 2012, 11:57 AM
    Am I right in thinking she's done wrong?
    My ex finished with me over text almost two months ago. But she told me she maybe pregnant the other day but if she is its not my baby as we haven't slept together since July. But two weeks after she finished with me she said she slept with her ex. That made me feel like I meant nothing to her.she was spending a lot more time with her ex than me since she started meeting up with him again an we weren't as good as we were before.I noticed on Facebook the way they were talking to each other looked as though they were seeing each other without me knowing. But when I asked she said there wasn't anything going on. But then she goes an sleeps with him knwing how insecure it would make me which really hurt me. She said she did it because he makes her feel better about herself an I made her feel like crap. She also said she's not sure why else it happened. She said it just happened an that he was just there. She suffers from depresion though an she said she needed comfort. She said her ex was there to help her though but he's still in love with her an tells her all the time. She tells him too, even though she said she won't get back with him but she may want to get back with me. Her ex clearly just wanted her back an didn't care about me an her cause he slept with her an tells her he loves her even though it was during an after we were together. The other day She said she was getting tested for bipolar disorder though. But I don't know if she's trying to make excuses though. Either way, am I right in thinking she shouldn't of slept with him, especially two weeks after we broke up? Can I trust her? What should I do? I don't trust her ex. I think he's a poisenous snake.
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