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    peter80's Avatar
    peter80 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 15, 2007, 01:00 AM
    Does she really love me after almost 4 years? She's says she's reserved.
    Sorry for the long story just been a long relationship.

    Im so confused I've now been with my well nearly 4 years. I met her when I was 24 and she was 18. Its been the perfect relationship. She is a university student and I sjustabout to finish up her degree and I think that's great. Ive been working I it for a while and I hut can't help sake the feeling she's been depending on mw for a long time.

    Here's my story we both used to work together for a bit casually and we hooked up with a bit of good work from me. At first she didn't seem all that keen and actually said she didn't really want a relationship although 1 week before she kissed me she was seeing another guy from work for a month no sex though, but apparently he only wanted that and she was more interested in a relationship. Anyway 6 weeks later we finally slept together after a few nights out with friends anddrinks and a bit of pashing.

    Anyway sex was amazing she had only slept with one other guy but she wasgreat everything was flying so I a month later said did you want to go out she replied NO! I thought OK well that's good she's hot and I'm still going out with friends having fun so it was all good. She sais ses not interested in aserious relationip andwant looking for a husband so I thought UMM.. well that's strange considering she wanted a relationship with the other guy but thought OK good for me... I was a bit confused so got a friend from work to ask her how are you and luke going you going out and she told them Nah He will probably just dump me soon or get boredwith me anyway. So I was confused by that thinking maybe she wants to go out but thinks I will hjust end up dumping her if we go out. So relationship went on and everything was fine 3 months later at a friends party she said to me when we got home oh I suppose you ar my boyfriend. So it was official from then . Anyhw ourreltionship went fine from there. Although she would always talk about things like when I find my husband and so fourth which was an issue with me, maybe she was hinting and tryingto bate me. I wondered and sometimes said well if you are thinking of when I find my husband you better go and find him why be with me and she would say stuff like, "well Im not sure what i want yet" anyway after 2 years went by one night I was in her bed and something cane up about marriage and she said that she did not think I was the one she wanted to marry.

    I was so confused 2 years and this. Well I souyghyt of questioned it and she said well nothuing lasts forever and I said wellwhat are we even together for if you are thinking like this... She said but I'm not sure about it yet I woldnt still be with you if I wasn't thinking of staying with you would I, I would beout looking. So that confised me more...

    Few months went by and things again changed she was so happy and started telling me how happy she was and could seeus being together. Few months later she is talking about kids and engagement. Wow I thought things were going well. So 3 months later well and truly into our relationship she wants a breaak declaring she's not sure what she wants. So we have a break and she says she misses me and still wants to be with me. One month later she is telling me she hasn't felt this good I a long time and loves me heaps. Another 2 months go bye and I mentionedone night when we were out about marriage and she says I don't want to talk about it we are just seeing what happens... I was confused again thinking well this seems o be dragging on and the problem was she was now 22 years old and well after this long she should begin to know what she wants, AQlthough from some posts here it looks like young girls don't. So it all seems great time has gone on and its been another 8 months.
    My problem is she is now 22 1/2 and really I'm not sure what she wants after nearly 4 years I try and mention it but don't want to push it. I really think she should no what she wants but I'm starting to think she may have just stayed with me while she has been at uni and it spmetimes seems as if she will leave when she feels more confident and gets her career. I have told her before if you want someone else you can go and that's fine I understand and she says I only want you.

    Problem is she very rarely shows this and does not talk about love very much and she says I'm just reserved and you should no that by now. She does not have a lot of friends but is startingto make more now, she is very hot and gets hit on a lot, which I'm not worried about cause she is very honest.

    I just feel she is with me till she's ready to leave although in saying this whenever she has uni nights out she always invites me and takes me to all the events but sometimes when she talks about he future she never talks about us as a future she seems to always talk about herself. Sometims I think she is scared of what I might say if she staryts talking about us. BUt she knows I lke her a lot but she just won't open up and maybe she just doesn't really want all this..

    I don't know what to do is and has she been keeping me because I must add she isn't a stalker girl but does like to send a message at night and says she likes to talk before she goes to bed , which is fine by me... Im left a bit in the cold what I should do its hard o talk to her about it cause she sought of says we are just seeing what happens... But almost 4 years that is a long time and I don't really want to hang around if it isn't going anywhere...

    Things seem to be OK now but I'm just not sure what to do from here, if shenot sure does that mean she's waiting for the right time to go. Yet she always says I miss youand she does miss me I think... We are also very active 3 to 4 times a week so there is no problem there and she is always wanting to see me, but I just get this bad feeling like I'm on a timeline...
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
    Ultra Member

    Aug 16, 2007, 11:24 AM
    This is not a good situation and the fact that it hasn't changed much in four years must tell you something. You both need to sit down facing each other and ask each other outright what you want from this relationship. No beating about the bush, just straight talking. You both may have started not knowing what you really wanted and then just got into the habit of being with each other.
    cheers-mate's Avatar
    cheers-mate Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Dec 20, 2007, 02:41 AM
    Break up with her... she doesn't love you like you think she does... I know this is a harsh asnwer, but it isn't that complicated... your chooser is broken... stay single a while and things will slowly re-align for you and the right girl will come along... she is looking for you out there somewhere!!
    RANA272's Avatar
    RANA272 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Apr 9, 2009, 04:36 AM
    First of all you are the person who is confused yourself
    As a man you are still not understanding the feelings of woman what she wants? She wants Love,Stability in relations and family,
    Only thing do is now as fast as you can fixed a marriage date and marry her,You will not get a better Love mate,wife and companion than this girl so don't delay and marry her withouth any thinking

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