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    Browneyedgirl1's Avatar
    Browneyedgirl1 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 4, 2010, 06:42 AM
    Does he really not love me anymore?
    We've been together almost 6 years, we went to school together were together about 6 months lost contact a bitafter school, a very good friend of his and schoolfriend of mine sadly passed away when we were 17/18 after that happened was when we got together, it's been an amazing 6 years, never argue really, did our own thing, he went off travellling for 2 months in the first year, both enjoyed the same things shared friends because of school, got on great with eachothers family, had numerous holidays together, great sex life, just everything about our relationship was as near to perfect as it gets, we saved & bought a house together last December, which was the best, we were so happy and as far as I knew everything was tip top, we coped with money really well, I went self employed in march hairdressing which couldn't have gone better, and it's because of him that I found the confidence to do it, an so life was even better I was happier which meant he was too, but 6 weeks ago, he told me he doesn't love me anymore! He created an argument out of nothing to create some negative air an dropped the bombshell, so I was devastated, I was in disbelief? He left the Sunday morning to go to his mums, I was in bits, my whole life has just crashed down around me, we spoke about it a bit a couple days later but it was all so fresh that nothing made any sense. He sobbed just as much as I did, anyway I sent a few upset & confused txs wrote a small letter, I've had amazing support from people his family especially, I'm feeling a lot stronger now but still desperately want it all back, everyone is so shocked, he'd told no one, said he'd felt this way for a couple months, but he can't answer me when I ask what it is he does want? I've seen him properly once, which was fine it was nice, seeing and speaking to the same person everday for 6 years and then nothing, so chatting to him was great, I love him so much, I just don't know what to do, I haven't even considered what to do about the house? I hope secretly that it won't cone to that, I've tried not contacting him but then il get a tx from him an I loveit so I reply, I'm meeting him tonight for a drink but I'm sure he sees it just as friends? None of it makes sense, there really was nothing to not like about our relationship, I hate that I wasn't making him happy it breaks my heart to think I was sat there thinking how lucky I am whilst he was thinking he doesn't want this anymore, I appreciate his honesty but I love him too much to let it disappear but he says it's him that's changed, that I shouldn't change, if he doesn't love me what can I possibly do? I feel helpless, I sit with my fingers crossed, please help? Anon 24yrs
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #2

    Nov 4, 2010, 06:57 AM

    For whatever reason, he feels that the sparks just aren't flying anymore. As much as it hurts, you need to close this chapter in your life and move on. As far as the house goes, you have 3 options: 1.) he keeps it and buys you out of your half ; 2.) you keep it and buy him out of his half or 3.) you both sell it and split the proceeds.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #3

    Nov 4, 2010, 07:05 AM

    I'm sorry for what you're going through. I'm sure you're devastated.

    There's really nothing you can do to change the way he's feeling right now. I know it hurts terribly, but no amount of begging and pleading will help.

    You have no choice except to try and move on. Since your feelings are so strong toward him, the only thing you can do is to go complete no contact... that's the best way!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,318, Reputation: 10854
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    #4

    Nov 4, 2010, 10:40 AM

    It must be tough to go through so much, and think its great, and then to find out he was not as committed to a future together as you were. Its like a divorce. Really tough, but for now you accept what he as done as such, and handle your business, and protect your own butt. Find a safe comfortable secure place to be, and make choices for yourself, and your interests, and settle your joint affairs with him. Then you can deal with the emotional fallout in your own time, in your own way, and be better for it, instead of dragging yourself through the false hope and leave you unprotected and confused. He has left, and been gone, so should you leave to.

    Very difficult to do, and I am sorry for your loss. But you still have to handle your business because he won't, nor would you like it if he did.

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