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    chicky42's Avatar
    chicky42 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 8, 2009, 05:58 PM
    Does he love me or not?
    My boyfriend and I were together for almost 2 years and then he just breaks up with me,
    He says he is not ready for a relationship. But he still texts me and wants to come stay over on the weekends and a couple of times I've had to go out and pick him up at 1am from his mates places.
    He says he still loves me and that we might get back together one day but I am just so confused right now. I thought we were happy and then BAM its over.
    I miss him so much and I still love him, hence why I go running when he calls.

    I want to be with him but not like this.
    He gets jealous when I go out with my friends as well its almost like he expects me to just sit at home and wait for him to call.

    Please help.Should I wait around for him and stay by his side or should I just forget about him and move on.
    I still love him so much but he is making me feel like , like I'm not good enough to be his girlfriend anymore
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #2

    Oct 8, 2009, 06:42 PM
    Sounds like it's time to give him the 'no contact' treatment.

    He can't have his cake and eat it too, and the way he's behaving is disrespectful of your feelings, expecting you to be at his beck and call.

    Stop being his girlfriend 'with no benefits' and put your foot down. You may think you love him but he isn't treating you with love and respect - he's using you and behaving like a jerk.

    Let him know that if the relationship is over then you don't want to: stay over on the weekends, be his taxi driver, stay at home waiting for him to call.

    Take back yourself respect. Don't answer his texts any more and go out with your friends rather than waiting for his calls.

    This guy is not good enough to be your friend or BF - time to move on and leave the jerk behind.
    chicky42's Avatar
    chicky42 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Oct 8, 2009, 06:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gemini54 View Post
    Sounds like it's time to give him the 'no contact' treatment.

    He can't have his cake and eat it too, and the way he's behaving is disrespectful of your feelings, expecting you to be at his beck and call.

    Stop being his girlfriend 'with no benefits' and put your foot down. You may think you love him but he isn't treating you with love and respect - he's using you and behaving like a jerk.

    Let him know that if the relationship is over then you don't want to: stay over on the weekends, be his taxi driver, stay at home waiting for him to call.

    Take back your self respect. Don't answer his texts any more and go out with your friends rather than waiting for his calls.

    This guy is not good enough to be your friend or BF - time to move on and leave the jerk behind.
    He said he still wants to be friends, and I still love him. But I guess that's because every time we hang out we act like we are still together. I don't want to upset him even though he has really upset me. I feel stuck, like I can't get out of this. My friends all want me to get out and about as I haven't spent much time with them since I've been with him.
    But then when I text him he just doesn't text me back until he wants something. I feel like I'm being used but its like he has a spell on me
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    Oct 8, 2009, 06:46 PM
    If he doesn't feel the same way about you, then he should keep away, otherwise it's not fair to you.

    Furthermore, if you keep letting him into your life, you become his back up plan. While he's off experimenting with other women, he has no commitment to you, but he keeps you hanging around just in case it doesn't pan out with other women, then he can always come crying back to you.

    Don't be someone safety net. Stop torturing yourself. Cut contact with him and keep him out of your life. Staying friends will just confuse you more and give you false hope. If he still cared about you, he wouldn't have broken up with you, because he should know that would cause you pain and he risks losing you. So the fact that he's willing to break up with you means he's ready to let you go.
    chicky42's Avatar
    chicky42 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Oct 8, 2009, 06:48 PM

    He's not seeing anyone else as far as I know. I have asked him and he said no
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #6

    Oct 8, 2009, 06:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chicky42 View Post
    He said he still wants to be friends, and i stil love him. but i guess thats because everytime we hang out we act like we are still together. I dont want to upset him even though he has really upset me. i feel stuck, like i can't get out of this. My friends all want me to get out and about as i haven't spent much time with them since ive been with him.
    But then when i text him he just doesn't text me back until he wants something. i feel like im being used but its like he has a spell on me
    Listen to your friends and stop being in contact with him.

    It's simple, he doesn't want to be your friend - he's just using you. He doesn't have a 'spell' on you - you're just scared of letting go. Why are you concerned about HIS feelings? He's already told you that he doesn't want you as a GF.

    Stop being a doormat. Be strong and move on without him - he's not making your life any happier is he?
    chicky42's Avatar
    chicky42 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 8, 2009, 06:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gemini54 View Post
    Listen to your friends and stop being in contact with him.

    It's simple, he doesn't want to be your friend - he's just using you. He doesn't have a 'spell' on you - you're just scared of letting go. Why are you concerned about HIS feelings? He's already told you that he doesn't want you as a GF.

    Stop being a doormat. Be strong and move on without him - he's not making your life any happier is he?
    When I'm with him though he makes me sooo unbelievably happy just by being there. But when I'm not with him I feel sad and like I should really tell him to either be with me or not be with me, he needs to have one or the other not half way in the middle. But it seems like none of that matters when we are together
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #8

    Oct 8, 2009, 06:58 PM

    He wants to be with you as his bootie call and he wants you there when he calls.
    He wants to go out and play and have you to come back to.
    He is using you my dear!
    Don't allow it for another second.
    Honor yourself and those who deal with you will honor you as well.
    Truth!

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