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    huney23's Avatar
    huney23 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 17, 2008, 06:59 PM
    Does my ex miss me?
    OK so my ex broke up with me about 9 months ago and when he broke up with me he only told me that he doesn't love me anymore and that was it and then I did call him the first few days but he never answered, we had been going out for 5 yrs so it was a very long time but then I accepted it and deleted him from my life. I'm seeing someone else now and I don't love him or anything but he loves me and I respect him as he is the nicest person I have ever met. A week ago my ex calls me saying that he misses me and then we talked for about 2 hrs and I asked him why he broke up with me and he said that he had met this other girl and that is why he had to break up with me he is still going out with that girl but since last week he sends me sms saying he is thinking about me and then tonight he sent me another one saying he is at this place with his girlfriend and he remembers us being there
    I'm not sure what's going on is he missing me? I mean who would text an ex while they are on a date with someone else...
    There is no way that I will leave my current boyfriend and go back to my ex but it will be great to know that he is regretting his decision and it was a mistake to break up with me
    I will be the happiest person lol
    KBC's Avatar
    KBC Posts: 2,550, Reputation: 487
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    #2

    Dec 17, 2008, 08:23 PM

    Seems to me he wants a hook up.

    He is testing the water to see if you'll sleep with him(again?).

    If that is what you want to do,go for it,but expect to be the second in his relationship status,or third... who knows how many girls he is trying to re hook up with?

    You forgot him before, do it again before you get hurt again.
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #3

    Dec 17, 2008, 09:23 PM

    Well it seems to me that he is suffering from a little bit of the grass wasn't so green on the other side syndrome.

    He does miss you, that much is obvious, and he just wants to see if you are still carrying a torch for him. Whether he would end his current relationship to try and get back to you is up in the air and really shouldn't be thought about. And I don't really think the assumption that he just wants to hook up should be made... how could you know that.

    However, to be fair to your current boyfriend I think you should make it clear to your ex that you are moving on and that you no longer have those feelings for him and that there is no desire in you to rekindle anything. I know it kind of plays with your mind when an ex says things like this but you can't let it get the best of you or interfere with your current relationship.
    KBC's Avatar
    KBC Posts: 2,550, Reputation: 487
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    #4

    Dec 17, 2008, 10:52 PM

    The reasoning behind my answer of the hook up is that a 5 year relationship,no returned calls after the break up,stated he didn't love her anymore,then after 9 months decides to call again?And while on a date he is texting?

    Be real nice guy,you're a male(I assume) and you know what guys are after(I am a male and I can tell you.)Look further in the site at the relationship questions and see what the 'other guys' do when trying to rekindle while in a relationship,it's just like this one.

    Hey, if I am wrong,so be it,I wish everyone to be happy,reality has a funny way of slapping you when you fall prey to emotions instead of fact.

    Not trying to start an argument,just clarifying my response.
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #5

    Dec 17, 2008, 11:25 PM

    I never said that you were wrong. You nor me couldn't possibly know what he is thinking... I am saying that he misses her in one capacity or another, whether that is a sexual one who the hell knows. What I am telling her to do is to not dwell on what it means because she can't for certain know. She has a good thing going with her current boyfriend so why jeopardize it by talking to this guy. Sometimes its best to let sleeping dogs lie, don't try and figure out his motives.

    That's just my opinion, having it not match yours is the beauty of this site.

    All the best huney23
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,321, Reputation: 10854
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    #6

    Dec 17, 2008, 11:44 PM

    It doesn't matter what he regrets at all, as he left you for someone else, but keeps in touch with you, just in case.

    His sorry motives have nothing to do with caring about you, but more to do with keeping himself on your mind, just in case, and wouldn't surprise me one bit, that he knows your seeing someone else.

    Don't be fooled by his sudden attentions, the bottom line is he dumped you for someone else, and said he didn't love you anymore. Those are the facts for any future decisions, no matter your feelings.

    If you want the confusion to end, stop letting him contact you by ignoring him.

    Never go back down that road again, and you deserve better.
    huney23's Avatar
    huney23 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Dec 18, 2008, 07:47 PM
    Thanks guys for all the answers
    Great all answers... that is what I thought but wasn't sure... I am still going to have contact with him so that I can tell him how happy I'm with my boyfriend... he is the jealous type so I know how he will feel when I tell him those things lol
    Its going to be fun

    Thanks again
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #8

    Dec 19, 2008, 06:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by huney23 View Post
    thanks guys for all the answers
    great all answers.... that is what i thought but wasnt sure... i am still going to have contact with him so that i can tell him how happy i m with my boyfriend... he is the jealous type so i know how he will feel when i tell him those things lol
    its going to be fun

    thanks again
    Why do you insist on playing games with him? He knows you will be doing this because you have feelings for him... still. You need to mature up and leave him and his immaturity in the past. Be the bigger person and leave him alone and enjoy your life. If I was your boyfriend I wouldn't want to be flaunted around like some trophy only to make your ex jealous. Don't give your ex that kind of attention. Two wrongs do not make a right.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,321, Reputation: 10854
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    #9

    Dec 19, 2008, 07:46 AM

    I am still going to have contact with him so that I can tell him how happy I'm with my boyfriend... he is the jealous type so I know how he will feel when I tell him those things lol
    Its going to be fun
    Not a good idea, at all. When you play games, you generally get played. Let it go and get on with doing your own thing. Really, keep it real!
    southerngalps's Avatar
    southerngalps Posts: 1,334, Reputation: 112
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    #10

    Dec 19, 2008, 09:31 AM

    Let him yearn for you. Leave him alone. Maybe things aren't going good with her so he is using you for a back-up plan.

    This happens too much it makes me sick.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #11

    Dec 19, 2008, 09:32 AM

    The good ol' "grass isn't quite as green as I thought it would be over here" routine...
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #12

    Dec 19, 2008, 09:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    It doesn't matter what he regrets at all, as he left you for someone else, but keeps in touch with you, just in case.

    His sorry motives have nothing to do with caring about you, but more to do with keeping himself on your mind, just in case, and wouldn't surprise me one bit, that he knows your seeing someone else.

    Don't be fooled by his sudden attentions, the bottom line is he dumped you for someone else, and said he didn't love you anymore. Those are the facts for any future decisions, no matter your feelings.

    If you want the confusion to end, stop letting him contact you by ignoring him.

    Never go back down that road again, and you deserve better.
    I agree with Talaniman:
    He may just be getting back with you because he doesn't have a serious relationship with anybody else.
    I have even heard guys say they would go with an old hag just so it meant them not being lonely. He could easily dump you again when someone else comes along. You say he said he didn't love you any more. If you continue contact with him I would make him tell me what ALL it was that he didn't love any more. Then you can tell if he is just trying to make something work that is doomed from the get go. Often when a person goes back they are only remembering the good times and not the things that made them want to get out of the relationship.

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