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mac09 · Jun 27, 2011, 08:09 AM

I have been dating a guy for 8 years. Why does his ex keeps popping up calling him. She knows it its gets on my nerves. Me and the ex got into an altercation about 4 years ago. Why does she think its OK to call him all the time. My boyfriend blocked his number and we are trying to move in together. But sometimes I think he still talks to her.

talaniman · Jun 27, 2011, 08:51 AM

What does he say about all this?

amicon · Jun 27, 2011, 11:02 AM

What altercation was that?

And have you discussed your feelings with him?

mac09 · Jun 27, 2011, 02:48 PM

He said he doesn't call her. A ex is a ex for a reason. He is in love with me and want to marry me.

mac09 · Jun 27, 2011, 02:52 PM

The altercation was his ex popped up over his house why I was there
I have discussed it with him, and he tells me his ex probraley regret breaking up with him. Or she is just being childish. He tells me he loves me unconditionally all the time. He doesn't want anybody else.

talaniman · Jun 27, 2011, 04:38 PM

So its fair to say its her actions that have you questioning your trust for him? Its her actions that make you insecure with this relationship?Do you have evidence he is talking to her behind your back?

What if she is just a psycho ex? Tell him to handle his business.

clafairey · Jun 27, 2011, 05:00 PM

If you trust him completely, then personally, I do not see the problem with him talking to her/vice versa.

mac09 · Jun 27, 2011, 05:08 PM

I really don't have evidence. I just Know she keep calling out the blue. Some of my boyfriends family keeps telling his business so he claims. Its getting on my last nerves. She really needs to get a life. When I do tell him to handle it. He tells me he made it to were he blocked her phone number. I known my man to date psycho females this is not the first time. I just don't understand why she want leave us alone please. She need to drop off the earth. I just think she really wants him back BAAAD.

clafairey · Jun 27, 2011, 05:18 PM

She may just like to have him around as a friend, that's possible. If she does want him back, so what? He is with you and only you. You can't stop people thinking/wanting things even if they do want what you have. If he wanted her, he'd have gone already. I'd take pity on this ex, doesn't look like she is going to get anywhere as it seems from what you are saying, he loves you to pieces and isn't going anywhere. Now you need to start actually believing that rather than having these doubts and focusing on the wrong things.

mac09 · Jun 27, 2011, 05:29 PM

Thank you for being so positive,encouraging

Alty · Jun 27, 2011, 05:35 PM

I really don't have evidence. I just Know she keep calling out the blue. Some of my boyfriends family keeps telling his business so he claims. Its getting on my last nerves. She really needs to get a life. When I do tell him to handle it. He tells me he made it to were he blocked her phone number. I known my man to date psycho females this is not the first time. I just don't understand why she want leave us alone please. She need to drop off the earth. I just think she really wants him back BAAAD.

She calls him, he doesn't call her. She's obsessed with him, he's done everything he can to cut her out of his life.

What's the problem?

He can't stop her from doing what she's doing. He can't control her actions. He can only control his own. You can only control your own.

Stop stressing about this girl. He's been with you for 8 years. He's with you now. He can't control what someone else does, so why are you punishing him for it?

Realize that he's with you, and only you. Stop being jealous about someone that he has no control over!

clafairey · Jun 27, 2011, 06:11 PM

No problem. :) Just saying what I see.

mac09 · Jul 23, 2011, 05:18 PM

Threads merged

8 years into relationship my boyfriend has not ask me to marry him yet. We also have a child together. Should I just break it off with him. He Has excuses,and gets mad when I bring up the marriage thing. I think he just want to playhouse. Basically our future rides on his mother and her stupidity. She does what ever she wants with her check, but wants to spend his on the bills and on her.She doesn't care about our son needs. She's never been there for her grandson. To be honest I think she's jealous of him. I Just think 8 years is too long for us not to be engaged. I just feel like he's not ready to stop playing around. I find one particular women now and then make making little sweet sexual remarks on his twiiter page. He won't do anything about it Im at a 4 university trying to get my Bachelors degree in business and I'm tired of being stress out from my boyfriend and mother.

Wondergirl · Jul 23, 2011, 05:23 PM

Originally Posted by mac09

8 years into relationship my boyfriend has not ask me to marry him yet. We also have a child together.

This is the whole problem. Why should he marry you? You give him everything he wants and needs -- a place in life, sex, a child. He doesn't want or need marriage. His mother has nothing to do with why he won't marry you.

talaniman · Jul 23, 2011, 05:59 PM

When I put your post together I realized he still lives at home and you have your own place, or do you stay with parents?

How old are you both, and how old is your child together. If you have been together 8 years, and never lived together, I doubt you ever will, and he is single with a baby mama. Why would he change that when he has no responsibility for anything other than himself, and probably doesn't even give you as much in child support as the courts would.

This ain't about HIS mama, but him. He doesn't seem to want the responsibility of being married. No wonder you freaked over another girl visiting! Maybe 8 years is enough of this, maybe a trial separation, and a call to find out what your child is entitled to, would give you time to think, and facts to make a good decision with, for yourself, and your child.

dd9765 · Mar 22, 2012, 12:08 AM

This happened to me. I was so in love that I kept ignoring my gut feeling. Then, about 8 years later (being engaged) I found he was cheating on me with her. Don't ignore your gut feeling.
-my advice: get out while your still young and vibrant...