Ok... Long story. Last year I went to England for 9 months and when I was there I met a boy (I know, cliché, cliche). I was leaving in 2 months, but I fooled around with him a bit. (Never had intercourse, just oral) I never imagined that I would end up caring for him since I am generally a very detached logical person. I just wanted a little bit of fun. For two months we were kind of an item. Though I was very clear that I would be leaving for home in 2 months. We hung out a lot and I came to care about him and consider him a good friend.

At the end of the two months I was getting ready to leave on a backpacking trip around the mainland Europe, and that would have been the end of our fling. I would have returned home and I wasn't in love with him yet, though I was falling. Before I left for my backpacking trip he asked me to come back after the month was over and spend the summer in Europe with him. I said yes. So I came back to England after my trip was over and the summer was great. We traveled and I deeper and deeper in love. Though I knew it was never going to go anywhere since I was going back in the fall to go to school. Needless to say this created a lot of turmoil in me. Near the end of my stay in England I broke and admitted to him that I love him. Though I made it clear that I didn't expect anything of him, and that he didn't need to return my feelings I just needed to let him know. He never told me he loved me, and I never expected him to.

By this time we were calling each other girlfriend and boyfriend and we spent a ton of time together. He had frequently bemoaned the fact that I had to leave and that the situation was horrible. As well, as some back story, I also gave him my virginity. (Before anyone gasps and judges me I am 19 years old and I will never regret giving it to him, he made it a great experience for me.) Anyway, on the day I caught my flight back home he drove me to the airport. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, getting on that plane. He cried as well and said how this was the hardest thing he has ever had to to do as well. As we said goodbye in the airport he told me he loved me too and for me to not give up on us yet.

I told him that the only way I would stay with him is if he came to where I live (an ocean over) within 4 months time. He said that he would come as soon as he could get a visa, which wasn't possible for another 4 months from my leaving date. I told him I would wait for him. For the first month we talked on Skype all the time and all was good. But long distance is tough and I told him I needed more Skype time. He then told me he wasn't sure if he could keep doing this. That he was afraid of leading me on and then not actually coming to see me. That he was unsure if he wanted to some see me.

Personally I believe he is afraid. He has lived his entire life in England and has never left the city he grew up in. His whole life is there. So I can understand his fear, but I feel like he has gotten into a rut, he currently has a job he hates and he has told me how he feels he isn't doing enough with his life. I just feel like his fear is holding him back. However, if he is feeling this doubt already how can he love me enough to come? I told him that that was a decision he needed to reach by himself and that it would be tough but he would have to decide if we are worth the effort and that it would take work on both our parts, but that I was up for it. He hasn't told me if he is willing to work for this relationship or not.

Though he still says he loves me. I'm wondering if he is stringing me along, which obviously I don't want. Am I too close to the situation? Do I love him and work harder for this relationship than him? Am I too emotionally invested? Should I break up with him since he seems like he wants to, but is too cowardly to? Help?
Thanks :)

I would just talk to him about it and let him know that your getting the impression he wants to leave you but something is holding him back.. and see what he says. Also, just talk to him about the move out to where you live and see if he is scared or just doesn't want to anymore. Maybe try and make him feel better by telling him you will help him find a job and everything and help make things work if he still wants to be with you and come live where you do.

Thanks :) I think I'll do that. Appreciate the advice!

The was a relationship, but it no longer is. The summer fling is over, but neither of you has been able to let go yet, or maintain a healthy distance thing.

What nut would give up their life over a summer thing? That's unreasonable, and you should stop the blame game and free each other for happiness where you both live.

Keep the memories, but deal with the reality of the situation.