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hunnybunny_88 · Feb 7, 2007, 07:28 AM

Hey guys,
Please help me by telling me your opinions.
I really really like this guy, we get on so well and I feel so comfortable around him and can truly be myself. However there is one MASSIVE problem, my sister knows him and absolutely HATES him with a major major passion! Whenevr I get a text she's like who is it from? If its him DO NOT reply! Or if I say I'm going out she's like where why who with. She goes mental when she finds out I've been out with him to the pub (usually with others as well) and if I talk about him she shudders and I have asked her why she hates him and she just says look at him. OK he might be the most attractive guy around, but its all about personality. I said that to her, but she has never given him the chance to get to know him (as I do admit, he can come across differently at first) but she just says well who would, why should I he is horrible! Its making me depressed as I really like him and want to be with him, but should my sisters opinion mean more to me? Can a relationship work if your family don't like you boyfriend? Please major help needed, its getting me so so so down!

hunnybunny_88 · Feb 7, 2007, 01:12 PM

PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME!!
This is having a major effect on my life, and I just want to hear peoples advice so I can either be with the lad I really want to, or whether I need to get over him to save my relationship with my family please please please help me!

kanicky73 · Feb 7, 2007, 01:16 PM

The first question that came into my head was did your sister know him prior to you hanging out with him? Maybe she liked him and he turned her down and she was really embarrassed by it. If that isn't the case, I think your sister should mind her business and just support you if your happy. If she saw you doing something that was not healthy or could be harmful to you than that is a different story. Jealousy isn't a good enough reason.

blueshadow_393 · Feb 7, 2007, 06:46 PM

Umm to be really blunt SCREW HER. This is YOUR life, don't let her live it for you, also, it shouldn't matter what SHE thinks about him, its only matters what YOU think about him.

momincali · Feb 7, 2007, 07:06 PM

Is your sister generally a sound person? I mean, does she usually give you good advice? Is she mature? If she is, there may be something about this guy you're not seeing. If she's just wacky all the time, a real jealous nasty person who hates seeing anyone happy, then yeah, don't listen to her.

As your sister, she may be desperately trying to save you some heartache that she forsee's with this guy. What is it about him that has you so tremendously fixed on him, I mean, how well can you know him to feel so much for him already? She may have seen him hanging around and not behaving appropriately and wants better for you.

jade21131 · Feb 8, 2007, 03:09 AM

My family didn't like my boyfriend either. But they will have to adjust to what you want. I was so into what my family thought about people and what they think that I should do, but I really loved my boyfriend. I did what I wanted and now they like him. My sister was also like your sister, I think she was like that because she was jealous of me and maybe your sister is jealous of you... Do what you want

JoeCanada76 · Feb 8, 2007, 03:49 AM

I can tell you from experience that it is important what you feel and what you think. She does not have any history with this person? Then I would say she does not know much about anything. You need to experience your own life. You need to have your own lessons. This guy might turn out to be somebody you do not like in the future but it is up to you to find this out for yourself. So I would say do not let that influence you.

My wife's family, say they loved me, and that they see that she is happier then ever but once they found out about us getting married they tried making our lives a living He##. Now they avoid me and I avoid them. Even my wife is tired of it, but she has been happier then she has ever been.

Joe

talaniman · Feb 8, 2007, 12:56 PM

Keep them apart and still do what you want and why does she have access to your texts?

hunnybunny_88 · Feb 8, 2007, 04:48 PM

ok thanks guys, really appreciate all your opinions.
So the majority say..go for it and follow my heart...
one more question for you lot...
do you think my sister will come round and eventually make up with me? for those of you who have been in the situation where your entire family hate your boyfriend how does that work? (as my sister brainwashes my parents to believe he is a nasty guy!) will they come round and realise if im happy they should be? do you not reckon it would put tension on the relationship, especially if he was to come to mine, can't an r'ship work by staying away from the girls home?! i mean fair enough this could be the biggest mistake of my life, but i feel im young, not really in the situation to be settling down with someone forever..just yet and i guess the saying is 100% true that you learn from your mistakes..opinions would be muchly appreciated again!! (sorry for all the questions, but i really need advice!)

JoeCanada76 · Feb 8, 2007, 05:50 PM

It will not be an easy ride. It might take a while for any of the family to come around. There might be a fair amount of arguments and fights, but your happiness in the long run is worth more then anybody, including your family. That is my opinion anyway. My wife does not speak to her mother for a long time because of all the problems that she has caused and my wife could not be any happier. Do not get me wrong it bother her, but at the same time her mother knowing how happy her daughter is should be loving her, supporting her and being happy for her that her daughter is happy with her new baby and husband.

Every situation is different, but eventually I hope family comes around but if they do not it is not really your problem.

Joe

momincali · Feb 9, 2007, 03:47 PM

Yes, you are young and as long as you don't see this guy as the love of your life and revolve your life around him, than I guess it's okay, since you're willing on taking the chance that he may end up being the wrong guy. Just please, don't get sexually active with him. You risk getting pregnant or getting a STD, yes, even with birth control and condoms, and you don't really know him yet. It would be a shame if he turned out to be a jerk and you get yourself into a situation you can't back out of.

You are entitled to make your own mistakes in life and learn the hard way, just keep your mind open as well as your eyes. Don't ignore common sense, what you see and especially your intuition as these things are here to help you avoid making mistakes and will allow you to see when you are making one, so you can stop.

Respect yourself and others will too. Good luck.

s_cianci · Feb 9, 2007, 03:55 PM

It doesn't sound like your sister's opinion is very well grounded. That said, I'd disregard what she has to say and do your own thing. If there was any merit to her opinions she'd have specifics to back them up with, not just "look at him."