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    al8dan's Avatar
    al8dan Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 10, 2005, 10:19 AM
    Hi all I am new here and this is my first Post.

    Problem is:

    My daughter (14) came to me and said she saw some nasty movies on my hubby's laptop. She was wanting to play games on it and listen to music. Instead she saw some "barely legal" teen porn.. of girls on a school bus or a teacher "doing" some pupils to name only a couple.
    I went to look and deleted 15 such movies.

    5 days later I went back to see if he noticed I had deleted them ( I deleted them and did not tell him to see if he would say anything). Not only did he not tell me... he downloaded more... so I did some digging. I looked in his document file and found he had been looking at a photo of my daughter . She and her friend had a sleep over during the summer and took photos they thought were glamorus. It was of her on the sofa fully clothed but in a moderately suggestive pose.
    I also looked in his e-mail (he has auto-fill on his passwords... OOOPS! ) and found not only has he been downloading teen porn he has also been paying for it... which we don't have money for and he recently basted me for getting a family subscription to cable. He also downloaded more movies and I found links to member sites which were not very nice. Now I KNOW the girls are maybe not really teens... or if they are they are "Legal" but the circumstances of them does not sit right with me.
    I am not a prude and do sometimes watch TV movies about sex and stuff and wouldn't hold it against him really... but the fact is it is basically Teens he is wanting to see and not grown women. He is 43.

    Should I confront him on this or am I over reacting?
    I have kind of made myself sick thinking about what to do... I am very shy and hate confrontations... but I find myself in a position where I think I should say something but don't know how to go about it in a strong way. I feel he could say something sarcastic and I would back down and just let it get the better of me.

    He also goes about spouting Christian values and while I am no saint I at least don't pretend to be at the right hand of Jesus and then go paying $29.95 a month for tennie bopper porno...
    AND then have the Audacity to complain when someone else buy something for the family for $3.00 more.

    letmeno's Avatar
    letmeno Posts: 215, Reputation: 23
    Full Member

    Oct 10, 2005, 11:32 AM
    Oh my god... you have got to do something and do something Yesterday!
    You are not overreacting by any means.

    Pornography is an addiction, let's forget the fact that he very well could be addicted to porn for a second and focus on the idea that he might be fantisizing about your daughter.
    I was molested by my stepfather when I was 13, believe me when I say that just in the past 3 years I have began to cope with what happened to me back then, I mean it was just recently that I learned that the whole scenario was not my fault. This damaged my relationships with every man that I came into contact with, I had to seek counseling because I was ruining my life. I trusted no man beyond my brothers. I was angry @ the world and this held me back from progressing on with my life. Please do not continue to keep your daughter in this potential situation.

    I know that you are concerned about the pornography, if he is willing to admit that he has a problem with this, this is treatable with counseling and help from his wife (you). Sooner or later as I have learned the person that is addicted to porn will eventually try and make their fantasy a reality. (as in my stepfather's case, he was addicted to porn too)

    No you are not prude, I can not tell you what to do about your husband, either he will man up and get help or he will continue to blame you and act as if nothing in wrong, in this case, stay if you want to but please, get your child away from him. YES YES YES you are correct about your assumptions.
    shenda's Avatar
    shenda Posts: 160, Reputation: 21
    Junior Member

    Oct 10, 2005, 11:48 AM
    Remember, a soft word turns away wrath
    We are taught to temper our words with salt, to perserve and restore the person, which leaves little room for the action.

    We never have to tell a homeless person, that he/she is a vagabond, or a wanderer... that is not news to them; however, if we aim to assist and help them we offer of our resources to meet them at their point of need.

    Likewise, I come to you as family in Christ Jesus... first to say, in your weakness God is made strong... you know already that you need to obtain a firm position, that you need to stand without wavering in this situation, you need strength to do so, and your source of strength is the Joy of the Lord... if you will read Proverbs 3:5-6 and meditate on Joshua 1:8 daily, your path shall be directed.

    This is a faith encounter... you are presented with something that wants to create fear in your most inward part, know that you have not been given the spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind. Initially, you delete the material, and your husband acquired more.

    I know that you are a believer, beyond lip service... therefore, I will stand with you as you exert your God-given authority over the principality that has come to meet with you. You must not waver, but expose the darkness that has visited your door step. You must let your husband know that you are aware of his pedophile-like behavior. He can not deny it and do not allow his words to minimize you. Stand firm. Know that God will never leave or forsake you... I know that if you place this petition before His Throne of Grace and whole-heartedly seek His guidance and direction... He will expose the tactics of this enemy... He will reveal unto you're the Sovereignty of His Power, Grace, Mercy and Might. Your faith in Christ must be activated, He desires more of you... trust God.

    Ask God to manifest Himself to you through this situation... undeniably. Seek Him to send you an audible answer, a confirmed answer to this temporary sense of darkness. Seek God, let Him minister to your heart... you will overcome if you allow your faith to be influenced by Divine revelation. As a saint of the Most High, your problem-solving ability must be centered in His Way of accomplishing things. You have the choice to handle this from a human perspective, which will serve feeble at best because you are now under a New Governmental influence that requires Sovereign cousel.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten

    Oct 10, 2005, 01:07 PM
    In other words, tell him to get help now, or you'll report him and make him go to therapy. This, if I understand correctly, is illegal in the U.S. as well as most parts of the world, and a few days in the locker won't hurt him either. There is enough sickness in the world, and you must protect your daughter first, no matter what vows you gave your husband who in my eyes is a bigot as he 'preaches' but does not practice. Throw him out, tell him to straighten up, and if not, get a court order for him to keep away from you and your daughter. Simple as that. Sorry to sound so crass, but too many young children have been exploited and ruined for the rest of their lives for the entertainment of people like him. He is sick and needs help, yes, but also needs a lesson taught.

    Bless you and your daughter and toss him as far as you can.

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