My girlfriend of 3 years I suspect may have done something with my best mate of 12 years, while I went overseas for two weeks. Lets call him shawn, and while away he dropped over to have drinkies like we do once and to see how she's copping while I'm away. Now the strange bit- he came over twice for drinkies and once to change a lightbulb. (Traveled about 26km). Anyway it was the messages that was sent that caused concern, 'how are you this morning, thanks for last night I enjoyed it' which he never usually says. And her reply was 'your a good friend' Then another text 'only tell him what he needs to know' and 'I don't want to get you in trouble'. I did ask her and she simply said nothing went on. She had text another friend and said she fell asleep on shawn, and when I asked about this she said it was while they were talking and not literally.

How did you read these messages? Did you go through her phone for calls and texts?

Yeah really are you snooping through her phone? If you had to do that then maybe there were trust issues before the trip. Have you spoken to your best mate, I'll call him Jerry. Even though you snooped, presumably, I would want to know what Jerry meant by "only tell him what he needs to know." Maybe Jerry isn't the best mate you thought he was. But from your need to snoop, a lot of things prior to this could have caused some stuff. Meaning if something happened, it might not be all Jerry and, I'll call her Sally, fault.

We use the same phone. :-(

How does THAT work for the two of you? (I find that hard to believe.) So you were incommunicado while overseas?

Wow. And she didn't delete them? Did she want you to find them? Again wow. You need some answers and you need to address it in a non threatening way. Good luck.

It sounds like you don't trust them, and why was your "mate" coming over to your house, for any reason if you were away. Or is he also her friend also.

If they were cheating, they would have cheated you gone or not. At least to me, it sounds like your "mate" may have wanted to, and kept coming trying.

I would try and get a better level of friends.

And what did your friend say when you asked him about this statement?

I'd have an issue with "Bob" just because he should be most loyal to you as his friend first... he shouldn't be advocating secrets with "your" girl. Have you ever doubted your girlfriend before? Have there been other times when you have questioned her loyalty/behavior?