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    Genuineforce's Avatar
    Genuineforce Posts: 76, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Mar 13, 2007, 10:09 PM
    Did she hide something?
    Hey all, thanks for the advice over the past day or so, anways I'll keep it simple LOL. My girlfriend went out to hang with her friend this evening. Her friend has two kids and doesn't get to go out much at all. That's cool with me of course as I respect freedom. Anyway, later at night, we spoke before she went to bed as usual, cool. Normal conversation. Just I figured to ask her did she have fun. So I said "did you have fun?" Normal question right? and she did answer it but her speaking and sentence style changed in a way that maybe there was more to it. She replied "Yes I had fun, yea I got a lot of sleep yesterday, boy I was so tired from work and all my schoolwork". I didn't break conversation flow at all in the converstation, but I thought to myself that the way she answered that question seemed odd, she said yes I had fun, then skipped to yesterday? What the hell is that? LOL funny as hell just as you all may see, lol. But for real, what are your opinions on her change of subject and speaking style. I am giving her plenty of breathing room as you all have advised me to, this topic is just between me and you guys, LOL And its not a trust issue at all here, I just thought it was funny to share, about the way men and women talk to each other, and MAYBE SOME OF YOU HAVE A SIMILAR STORY, IF SO PLEASE SHARE, HEHEHEH! By the way we have been happy together, and she wasn't out late either she was home by 11:30 and I had talked to her prior when she called me around 10.. Thanks all..
    manimuth's Avatar
    manimuth Posts: 261, Reputation: 60
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Mar 14, 2007, 08:12 AM
    When you've been with a person long enough, you get to know them well enough to pick up on small things like what you noticed in her response. Its hard to interpret these signals because there could be a variety of reasons for her response (maybe she had a bad night, maybe something happened, maybe nothing happened, maybe she was tired, or she just didn't want to talk... ). It could be anything. So, don't worry about it.
    BUT, another thing that we get good at by knowing a person well is picking up on red flags. So, this small signal you got from her can become a red flag if you start picking up on other things. (Do you understand what I mean?) So, for now, don't worry about it.
    Lowtax4eva's Avatar
    Lowtax4eva Posts: 2,467, Reputation: 190
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    #3

    Mar 14, 2007, 08:21 AM
    What's with all the LOL's? But I don't know, maybe, as said above your picking up on a very slight change in speeking pattern. I wouldn't worry too much but keep track of times she has done the same thing and what the outcome has been. My first guess is she didn't want to talk about that night, not because she did something wrong but maybe her friend and her had a conversation about the friends problems etc and she doesn't want to talk about her friend to you. I don't know, one of a hundred explanations I'm sure.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #4

    Mar 14, 2007, 08:24 AM
    Can't tell.

    There are times when my wife isn't really listening to me and will do the same... answer a question barely and move onto whatever track her mind was really on.
    Genuineforce's Avatar
    Genuineforce Posts: 76, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Mar 14, 2007, 09:00 AM
    Hey all, thanks for the input. I am not worried about it being anything crazy, but I did notice it, and I am sure that it was not because she wasn't paying attention, I know for sure that she wanted to divert attention from her hanging out with her friend, I just am wondering what you all think she would be hiding?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,250, Reputation: 10853
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    #6

    Mar 14, 2007, 09:04 AM
    Instead of guessing or assuming, you could put the whole thing to bed with a simple question.
    manimuth's Avatar
    manimuth Posts: 261, Reputation: 60
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    #7

    Mar 14, 2007, 09:10 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Genuineforce
    I know for sure that she wanted to divert attention from her hanging out with her friend, I just am wondering what you all think she would be hiding??
    Genuine,
    I think that you are asking for reasons to add to your doubts and worries. Let's not go down that road. If this is bothering you, just ask her: "Hey, the other night, I felt like you were avoiding something. Do you want to talk about it?"
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
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    #8

    Mar 14, 2007, 09:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    Instead of guessing or assuming, you could put the whole thing to bed with a simple question.
    I like this answer but sadly that would probably not work since he would simply find a way to pick that apart too and he'd only be posting "here's what my girlfriend said -- what do you think it REALLY means???" It's the mistrust and the spy-like hypervigilance that untreated paranoia manifests that is the problem here, but we already talked about this at length in the other thread. It needs to be worked on with a professional, I believe.

    PS - A lot of LOL's doesn't disguise the paranoia, Genuineforce. LOL How old are you, if you don't mind telling?
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #9

    Mar 14, 2007, 09:31 AM
    Yep, That's being paranoid and not trusting. You must not trust her.

    And what's with the checking before she goes to bed?

    How about giivng her space and letting her actually have fun/

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