I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I went on vacation for a week without him. When I came home I started cleaning the house. When I found the only picture of me in the house, had been put under the bathroom sink. (It was on the counter when I left) I asked him why he would do that? He laughed and said "I don't know what you're talking about". I asked again. He said because he didn't like looking at the black baby in the picture. (he's pretty racist) I showed him the picture and asked him to point out the black baby. (there isn't one) He said "Oh I thought that was a black kid". (The baby is whiter than I am) Then I found mascara smudges on my side of our bed. I confronted him about that. He says they're PROBABLY mine. But my question is, how did I not notice this before I left? And, how have I slept in that bed on those sheets for more than a month and never left a mark on them. I've never left a mark on bedding before... ever! I asked him if he would tell me the truth even if he did cheat. His response... "probably not. Why would I rat on myself?" He won't make eye contact with me and he just keeps laughing and calling me retarded, and stupid etc. But he won't answer a direct question. I guess the way this puzzle fits in my head with the mascara magically appearing the same week that I'm on vacation and the that my picutre was placed under the bathroom sink is that he did cheat. I don't know how else to logically put all these pieces together without coming to that conclusion. It's a little too convenient. Am I crazy or just unlucky? Please help.

Are you dating a 5 year old? Why in the hell would you want to continue dating him anyway, even if he didn't cheat. He sounds like a complete idiot. Not only is he racist, but he sounds like a self absorbed a$$ if you ask me.

Yes, he cheated.

It does sound pretty suspicious. Its always possible that maybe the mascara really is yours and you didn't notice it before. But that with the picture being hidden, that'd make me suspicious too. And then adding his refusal to make eye contact, talk to you about it, and the name calling. Obviously it's hard to prove if he won't say. But the lack of trust is enough for me to think you should be re-evaluating your relationship.

As far as I'm concerned the relationship has ended. I have not heard from him since I confronted him. No txt, nothing.

As simple as that? I thought you lived together?

You're much better off without him though. From your post he sounded like a complete jerk. Seriously.

Hey,

I'm sorry but, I find this comical... How dumb could this guy be? Actually, I'm more impressed how you put up with such an immature (fill in word as you please) because he's like a kindergartner.

I'm sure you were upset and holding back while confronting him about this, and the fact of him laughing at you is just plain ignorant to do to someone your supposed to care about.

I'm glad to read your last post, on not talking to him and it's over, and to answer your question did he cheat? Don't worry about it now, if it's already over, it's over, no need to hurt yourself more, he knows, and so does God, and that should be enough for you as well.

Hope All Is Well,

LCM

We didn't live together. I just stayed at his house most of the time. I have my own place. I feel really stupid at this point... it's amazing how love and hope are blinding huh? Lol.

Well I guess I put up with him for so long because I believe when you love somebody, you got to accept all the imperfections. I don't just quit... I try. I've just been the only one trying for so long quite frankly I'm exhausted. Thank you for your reply though.

Honesty and communication are the foundations of a relationship. Without these two important elements, there is no relationship.

Honesty and communication breed trust. Trust is essential for a successful relationship. If you do not trust him, you aren't communicating or being honest.

If you're still together, sit him down and talk to him. If he isn't honest, doesn't communicate, or shifts around the issue, you know that he has something to hide.

What that something is, I don't know, but you deserve honesty.

Always, always, always communicate honestly with your partner. Without that, you can't build trust.

I wish you the best!

I tried talking to him, but he looks down and away, answers questions with questions, and just kept calling me names. He has lied to me in the past, it took me 3 weeks to get the truth out of him (over something sooooo stupid), and he acted the same way. He just tried to contact me today and I told him I just can't be with someone who thinks it's okay to lie for any reason. The biggest problem I see... (I hate to admit this) he has no sense of morality. I've known this forever. (before me) he has slept with married women, let 2 cheating friends use his house to cheat in... I'm really just an idiot on this one. Thank you so much for your reply.

You just followed emotions. That happens to the best of us.

Now follow your head. You know this guy is a loser and will continue to be a loser. He has shown no signs of changing his habits.

It is going to hurt, but you will make it. You will be much better off without him in your life. Seriously.

He sounds like someone who is in denial and doesn't know how to deal with being caught.
IF you aren't going to get out of the relationship asap start noticing other red flags.

Don't be accusing and nagging just be more aware to when he may be cheating and the red flags.

Loser has been my word of choice also. Lol. But I know you're right. Thank you again

I left that day. I can tolerate a lot, but cheating is my limit. But thank you though.

Way to go! You at least have YOUR priorities straight.
Maybe you were, but obviously, your not now.

The only thing you have left to do is disappear from his life, and yours may hurt for a while, but it will get better.

Personally, I admire your strength to deal with your obvious intense feelings in a positive way for yourself. BRAVO!!

Thank you very much. I'm doing my best right now. I'm a little worried that I'll crumble later though. He and I have broke up I don't even know how many times, dated other people, and always end up back together. I'm a wimp lol. I think it's a bad habit or addiction or whatever people like to call it. Whatever it is... it's toxic and twisted! I just need to stick to my guns.

Reminds me of my favorite Chick Flick... The Holiday.

You've made a decision to be the leading lady of your own life. Good for you. :)

OMG I love that movie! (I own it) I remember the first time I saw it... I thought, crap... I'm iris. Lol. Well it's time for me to show some gumption huh? Lol.

Exactly. You got gumption, girl. Stick to your guns... you'll make it. :)

Best. Chick Flick. Ever. :)

It's up there with the notebook, and twilight!