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Handyman2007 · Apr 28, 2012, 09:11 AM

My son is married to a very selfish and controlling woman. My son's oldest son was moved out of the house and sent to his birth mother because his wife could not get along with him! Now they are going to have a baby in May and SHE has decided to move 1800 miles away. She has already moved and will have the baby in the new location.

My son has NO family where they are moving except for HER family. I will never see the baby because I have cancer and cannot travel very far from home. She also expects my son to pack up his business (that is very successful btw) of 13 years and move it to their new location. Am I wrong in being upset by this whole thing> My grandchildren are being moved away from me. MY son is being forced to move away from me while I am sick (he is my only living family). My daughter in law could care less about me or my son's family (his mother's side).

I am not concerned only about me but I am concerned that he will not get his business going and she will take him to the "cleaners" so to speak. She HAS done it before!! Any advice?

joypulv · Apr 28, 2012, 09:43 AM

Not much advice. Try to heal so that you can see him and your grandchildren again, when and if he comes back. Breathe, take care of yourself. He's your son, you raised him, he is the way he is partly because of you, partly other factors, you can't change him now. Trying to interfere or cling or demand will only drive him away emotionally as well as by location. Stay in touch with video and Facebook and use your webcam and if you don't have one, get a new notebook computer with one embedded at the top, and try to stay a positive, loving, doting mother and grandmother no matter what. Good luck.
Easy for me to say, right?
Stay in touch here too!

talaniman · Apr 28, 2012, 06:36 PM

The toughest thing a parent can do is sit on the sidelines helpless as our grown kids deal with the realities of life they face. Unless they ask for help, we can do nothing, nor do they seem to listen to our concerns. I have first hand knowledge of this and know EXACTLY how you feel.

The best I can offer, is support your son, no matter what, and be there if he does ask for help. But don't press him to hard because obviously he has his hands full.

Have faith he will handle it, and focus on your own healing. In that I wish you well, and hopefully your son will deal with his situation.

Have faith, you raised him.