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New Member
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Oct 23, 2013, 08:40 PM
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Crush or what because I'm confused
There's this guy I like at my job, I'm new here. Well since I've been there he been nothing but extra nice to me, he'll ask me how my day is going, always smiling at me. He'll wait for me to get off work if we get off at the same time and ride the elevetor with me, he makes small chit chat when he can, he holds the door open for me, he'll sit back in his seat and watch me if I'm working in his area and tilt his head back and smile.
Two days ago he rode the elevetor and asked me what am I going to do when I get paid and when do we get paid (mind you he's been there for a few months) I just started. Yesterday he stood in the doorway and looked at me, like he wanted to say something to me but he didn't. I really like him and I don't know if he's being nice because I'm new, if he's the company snitch and is nosey, or does he really have a crush on me. We are the same age, I'm the office assistant and he is an engineer.
Well he came back to work today and made sure he let me know he was there, because I sure as hell wasn't paying attention, he came up behind me with this big azz smile on his face and was like what you working on and tried to help me out. Oh he bought something from my family members fundraiser and I gave him a thank you note and it had a clown hat on a coffee mug with a smiley face on it, and I assume he read it, because a few minutes after that, I was talking to a fellow male co-worker and ol' boy passed by me and gave me a dirty look. jealous maybe? I've been hurt in the past and I'm not trying to get hurt again. Help me, thanks.
I'm African American and he is Irish. My family isn't too fond of that but I don't care. I really like him, and from his actions I think he likes me but I want a second opinion. Do you think he'll ever admit it? If he does have one regardless if we work together or not.
Today 10/18/2013 he was like the boss is going to give you more work, watch, I told him to shut up. Then he comes around again and repeated himself, and I in turn said I don't like you, and dude put his head down and his face was just so saddened by what I said, because he said to me I know, with this hurt look in his face and he didn't even look at me, I just giggled and walked away and before he went home he smiled at me and put both hand up with slightly curled fingers waving bye and I said bye. Why did he do that, and why won't he just ask me out instead of consistently flirting? I understand we work together, but that doesn't mean we can't make it work. I do like him a lot.
Well I went out on a limb 10/21/13 and sent him a note. I just handed it to him, with my head down and he was like what's this I just shook my head and he was like OK, and then left. Well I'm assuming he read it because he didn't walk past me at all for the rest of the day. The note stated, hey I know we work together and I really do like you and I want to get to know you outside of work, so if you are interested call me, and I left my number. He didn't stop at my desk like he normally does nor did he pass by me after I gave him that note early this afternoon. I noticed he did go to the bosses office for a minute and I was in the hallway and he looked back at me with no facial expression.
Today 10/23/13 he didn't come into work but someone kept calling my work number every few hours and wasn't saying anything. They were just hanging up. Does he have a girlfriend and was offeneded by what I wrote or is he crushing and is just shy, or is he upset I took the first step thinking he'd just admit there's something there?
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Emotional Health Expert
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Oct 24, 2013, 06:48 AM
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I think he was being overly friendly, and I don't blame you for thinking he might be interested
But, even if the two of you are interested in each other, the workplace is not usually a very good place to start a romantic relationship.
His reaction, after you gave him the note, has me thinking that maybe he did not intend for you to take him 'that' personally, and he didn't realize how he was coming across. With him in his managers office, he could very well have said something about you coming on to him.
That kind of drama (to a manager) is potential trouble.
Maybe he was just shocked that you gave him the note at all, after you told him you didn't like him. Now he doesn't know how to read the situation.
My advice to you is to leave things be. Before anything turns into romance (which could also be trouble at work), think long and hard about possible consequences.
I wouldn't take this any further than it has already gone.
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current pert
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Oct 24, 2013, 07:14 AM
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We can only go by what you say, so can't tell you what he's thinking.
It sounds like he might have a crush on you, if he stayed home and you were getting hang up phone calls at work.
It seems really far fetched though, in this day and age, for a grown young man with a good job to do that. But you never know.
I agree that you should just put everything to do with him on hold until you find out what's going on with him - if you ever do.
I'm from an older generation, and find notes with phone numbers on them too forward. He may have been brought up with old fashioned ways like that too. But you did nothing 'wrong!' If he comes back to work all shy and elusive, wait a while, and then just say casually 'so was that you calling me on the 23rd? I would have talked.' And let it drop if he says no.
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Expert
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Oct 24, 2013, 08:54 AM
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I think you may be carried away by this workplace attraction, and he may be just a bit wary of carrying it further. Regardless you opened the door, so its up to him to walk through it and explore the possibilities.
Just because there is mutual attractions doesn't mean you pursue them, as chances are the workplace and private life gets really complicated when there is conflicts in one of them with the same person. Maybe you both are carried away at this time. But you have made an overture, and hopefully he reciprocates, and if he doesn't, don't trip on it to hard and keep overthinking things.
Like you said, you know nothing of him other than being nice, and flirty at work. You may want to know more, but its up to him, so do nothing until you learn more. Personally, for someone who isn't trying to get hurt AGAIN, you seem to have thrown caution to the wind at your new job, and are chasing a guy you don't know. That may not be wise at all, at least not in the long run.
Be very careful in this unknown territory. JOB first.
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New Member
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Oct 24, 2013, 06:09 PM
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Today he didn't come around until my coworkers pushed him to go to lunch with them
He passed by my desk and said hi sasha with a stern voice and wouldn't nor didn't look at me... yet in stood in the hallway facing the wall for a few minutes before he walked off... my bro said that's what guys do when they really like u... he said ol boy will come around when isn't so eluding
My bro said this guy is eluding me because he is shy and doesn't know how to respond to what I said. I don't know.
I told him in the note I didn't mean what I said on Friday, actually I like you allot and wouldn't mind getting to know you outside of work... and I wrote if you are interested call me and I left my number... and today the above happened
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Expert
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Oct 24, 2013, 06:31 PM
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Leave this alone because obviously this isn't just between the two of you and the last thing you need is water cooler gossip, or well intentioned co workers helping this along with advice.
You have done enough.
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New Member
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Oct 24, 2013, 07:13 PM
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I'm a permanent employee... u can date folks at work and keep it on the low...
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New Member
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Oct 24, 2013, 07:16 PM
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Today he didn't come around until my coworkers pushed him to go to lunch with them
He passed by my desk and said hi sasha with a stern voice and wouldn't nor didn't look at me... yet in stood in the hallway facing the wall for a few minutes before he walked off... my bro said that's what guys do when they really like u... he said ol boy will come around when isn't so eluding
My bro said this guy is eluding me because he is shy and doesn't know how to respond to what I said. I don't know.
I told him in the note I didn't mean what I said on Friday, actually I like you allot and wouldn't mind getting to know you outside of work... and I wrote if you are interested call me and I left my number... and today the above happened
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New Member
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Oct 24, 2013, 08:54 PM
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I think he likes you because I've been in that same problem before. So you should try to see what's going on and figure it out.
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current pert
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Oct 25, 2013, 03:41 AM
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You are consulting far too many people about this, and over thinking it as a result.
NO ONE but he knows what he's thinking.
Let the poor guy proceed at his own pace, will you?
Bake some cookies, and hand him a small plate of them as he walks by a few days from now, and say 'peace offering.' Use a real plate from home so that he has to return it.
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