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    LonelyTeenGuy's Avatar
    LonelyTeenGuy Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 16, 2019, 09:38 AM
    My crush is showing mixed signals.
    I'm a 16 year old who just made this account to ask this one question because it's been bothering me for a while.

    So I've had a crush on this nice, smart, and cute girl for a while but she's showing a lot of mixed signals. We've known of each other for about 6-7 due to being in the same classes and talked in the same group a few times. Our class consists of only 19 people so everyone is kind of cool with everyone.

    I do have her number and I've tried to have a conversation with her. (Looking back it's mostly of me desperately trying to start and/or hold a conversation with her while she's showing absolutely no signs of actually enjoying the conversation whatsoever.) We've had one fun over text conversation that we both actually enjoyed but that's about it. And now I've ed up enough times for her to start ignoring my texts or at least leaving talking through texts to the very minimum with one word answers.

    But she's still nice to me irl. She's showing signs of liking me and generally being very nice. There has been a lot of signs of her liking me and her friends even tease her about it. One time we were at the school library and one of her friends asked if she liked me. She looked at me briefly then looked away being fire red and not responding.

    So even if she likes me why would she ignore my texts then? For me my crushes are very strong and last about 2 years before ending so for me the idea of ignoring my crush would be the stupidest thing you can do.

    If she doesn't like me then why is she showing so many signs. She hasn't shown any of these to anyone else so why me?

    And then there's the problem of getting her to respond to my messages again. As we still might have future group projects togheter and in those situations it's kind of hard to make them without clear communication.

    Thank you
    A confused individual
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,010, Reputation: 10852
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    #2

    Jan 16, 2019, 09:54 AM
    Your problem is simple, you don't click enough for her to respond with the same interest you have for her. The solution is just as simple. Be nice but leave her alone with the texting and calling. Sorry guy, but you can't make someone like you, and obviously she is more annoyed than amused. I think you mistook her friendly with more interest than she intends to give you.

    Disappointing, hurtful, and a bit awkward for sure, rejection usually is but would you rather she tell you to leave her alone to your face instead of just taking her hints?
    LonelyTeenGuy's Avatar
    LonelyTeenGuy Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 16, 2019, 12:26 PM
    Well can you help with actually resolving the situation. Like I said our class is small and so everyone has a kind of trust for each other. I'd hate to weaken that in any way by not being able to communicate outside of school. Also there are a lot of times that I actually need help with something/need to ask a question etc. I've been thinking about confronting her about it but that runs the risk of making things worse. It's fine if you can't help as this situation is unusual for sure.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,815, Reputation: 5427
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    #4

    Jan 16, 2019, 01:13 PM
    No, it's not unusual. Just treat her like you do any other of the other girls. (I survived being in a class with ten other students, so I understand what you're saying.)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,010, Reputation: 10852
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    #5

    Jan 16, 2019, 04:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by LonelyTeenGuy View Post
    Well can you help with actually resolving the situation. Like I said our class is small and so everyone has a kind of trust for each other. I'd hate to weaken that in any way by not being able to communicate outside of school. Also there are a lot of times that I actually need help with something/need to ask a question etc. I've been thinking about confronting her about it but that runs the risk of making things worse. It's fine if you can't help as this situation is unusual for sure.
    No it's not all that unusual to have a crush on a classmate that doesn't have one on you, it's quite normal, but if you play it cool and give her space you can preserve the friendship, and even learn to appreciate it. That I think is your best resolution without making a big fuss and drama. At least you will get her and you from the middle of everyone's teasing.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,292, Reputation: 7691
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    #6

    Jan 16, 2019, 05:06 PM
    This is an eternal issue all high school students run into.
    What happens is you often have to actually take a risk, and ask someone out. If they have some interest it may click, if not, they say no.
    Beyond that, you can play guessing games for 3 years till you or them move away
    mujkaz's Avatar
    mujkaz Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 17, 2019, 03:15 AM
    It is conceivable that your breaking is confounding.


    Yet, I believe it's in any event as likely that your breakdown will give you no flag by any stretch of the imagination.


    You got the man alcoholic. Your affections for this individual will cause the scan for signs. Your craving to discover signs can make you get signals that are not sent or that can be directed to someone else.


    On the off chance that you are pulverizing, talking or acting in a way that aggravates you, you might need to converse with them: "Hello, I was interested what you needed (a remark/some activity)."


    It might shock you that you thought you had some other implying that you ought to find. They can clarify what they mean.


    Regardless, you can most likely master something.
    LonelyTeenGuy's Avatar
    LonelyTeenGuy Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Feb 9, 2019, 12:11 AM
    Alrite, I'm back. This time with a different problem. Before I talk about that there are some things to clarify.

    1. When I said that the situation was unusual I meant, that it was unusual because I wanted to at least make her not hate me and that I'd be okay with just staying friends.

    2. We actually do have a lot in common, a lot of the same interest, and our personalities are compatible, more on that later.

    3. Well that's about it actually...

    So,I'm just kind of posting this here and hoping that somebody sees this. I don't know if I should just make a new post but lets just try this first.

    Things have resolved, I gave her some space, stopped being a moron while texting her and we are actually pretty cool now. We talk more at school and she actually responds to my texts now. (Probably because I stopped being a moron)

    Right now, I want to thank her about something. She has been really nice to me and on Thursday we pretty much talked for an hour. She was very nice to me, and although the conversation wasn't anything that personal, we both had a fun time. Talking to her gave me a big boost of motivation and I've starting to get my life toghetter through all the teenage angst. I've got my sleep routine fixed due to this boost and I'm currently working on a proper studying routine. And, I want to thank her for giving me this motivation.

    The problem is that I don't know how. She didn't say or do anything that was motivating, it was just the conversation overall. This is also something I'd like to say face to face but we really don't get any alone time toghetter so texting is my only option. But then the problem of how do I tell it to her through text arises. I could just send a message saying "I'd like thank you about something..." or something like that, but she has a tendency to not respond to "i have something to tell you..." types of texts because she gets embarrassed and doesn't know what to do. I don't want to send her 7 walls of texts either, as that'd just be annoying.

    I want to express my gratitude but don't know how. Any help?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,010, Reputation: 10852
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    #9

    Feb 9, 2019, 06:34 AM
    I beg to differ. I am sure you know how to say thanks, I appreciate your friendship. Unless you like drama and a big show of it to impress her and make her heart go pitter patter and all that stuff. Keep it real, keep it simple, and short, and genuine from the heart. No way should you let the intensity of your feelings push you into intense over the top words or actions guy.

    Make a little sense?
    LonelyTeenGuy's Avatar
    LonelyTeenGuy Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Feb 9, 2019, 09:21 AM
    I don't think I can exactly express everything I want to say in a way the text doesn't start to be boring to read. If I start it with one text and continue as she responds and asks questions she most likely won't respond.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,010, Reputation: 10852
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    #11

    Feb 9, 2019, 10:31 AM
    You are a needy and insecure young fellow. Just can't express your gratitude simply and just go about your own life. Naw, have got to just keep the drama going. That's not good so it's no wonder you don't understand what I was saying.
    LonelyTeenGuy's Avatar
    LonelyTeenGuy Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Feb 9, 2019, 10:59 AM
    Way to attack a 17 year old... If I'm not mistaken, there is some conficting information in your answer. "Speak from your heart" and "Keep it simple". If I just let myself free and typed everything that I wanted to explain it would be an 8 page long essay. That's just how I am. The problem I have here is comoressing everything to a few sentences so it's actually readable. I'm not trying to impress her by using big words and sentences. I'm trying to make the text readable. Now excuse me, I'm going to read my Hamlet book by Shakespeare.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,010, Reputation: 10852
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    #13

    Feb 9, 2019, 05:01 PM
    I am sure you know how to say thanks, I appreciate your friendship.

    That's not compressed enough?

    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #14

    Feb 11, 2019, 05:34 AM
    LTG - You are going through what every person in the world goes through when learning how to have a successful relationship. You are not going to be perfect your first time so take a little pressure off yourself. It's like learning to play tennis. You aren't perfect from the get go but you learn and get better as you practice at it. It's possible this girl doesn't want something special from you more than just a friendship. That's okay and it's her decision. It's nothing against you. So just have an open mind when you are going through these new experiences in life and you will do just fine.

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