I feel like in my relationship with my boyfriend I crossed lines I shouldn't have with other men, even though I never had sex I feel bad and feel my boyfriend even though he forgive me and don't bring it up, I feel like a weight to him, he knows about every thin

My boyfriend and I were going through rough patches and a guy from the past came back into my life. He gave me a Xmas card and I made him a birthday card. My boyfriend was there when I got him the card but later I added stuff to the card, like decorated it and made it funny and I put a heart in it after I said love (my name). When I look back I think I may have went a little over board with the card, I put too much time and effort into it. I hung out with him a few times and my man knew about it. I think I crossed the line by talking about past stuff with the other. I never did anything with him but on v/day he sends me flowers. Again I told my bfs he sent them when I could have hid it. My boyfriend went through my phone again last New Year's and was reading the messages he write me, nothing was sexual. It was just normal conversation.

When I asked my boyfriend for the phone back he was like what you got to hide and he said no I'm not going through your messages, so I took my phone deleted all the messages the guy sent me because I knew that's what he was looking for when he said he wasn't. Then he said why you erased it what you got to hide. I said nothing you read some of it but why you need to be reading everything being nosey. He kept asking me do I like him because and I said maybe I did and I told the other guy I had feelings but I loved my boyfriend and wanted us to work. The other guy said he don't mind just being my friend! As time went on I distanced myself from the other guy, he was causing problems and I wanted to work on our relationship.

Me and my boyfriend did break up later for other reasons and wasn't speaking. When we broke up I didn't take a chance with that guy even though I had a chance, I just didn't like him as I thought. I think I just liked the attention. I and my boyfriend are back now but I think he still thinks of this and maybe not trust me. I know I did wrong and he knows this, I told him I will never let a guy from the past back even as a friend because it can cause problems which it did. I even told it I will not befriend new guys out of respect because when I try to make a friend they want more. He said he will do the same. I feel like I cheated on him, when I didn't really, but I put myself in questionable things!

All this happened over a year ago. I will never repeat this, I learned my lesson, and even the thought makes me sick! How can I get pass this and not think it's not going to work and think my boyfriend will remember and think I'm a bad person?
All this happened over a year ago but I remember recent my bfs asked me was I flirting with him and giving him a reason for him to send me flowers, I said no. I didn't tell my boyfriend that I told the other guy I liked him, but my boyfriend knew I did because I told him, I did say that I may have giving him reasons by entertaining him and giving him a card and keep talking to him. That I could have led him on.

I feel like I keep on bringing it up out of my own guilt to my boyfriend because I feel terrible about it and not telling him the truth that I was flirting with him, about stuff from the past. The more I think about it the more I start to remember every wrong thing I could have done, said, or acted that was wrong it's like ocd! Do you think I need to bring this up to my boyfriend that I did flirt. He is sick of hearing about this.

Let it go, my gosh enough of the past. Look forward.